(no subject)
If I am pissing you off, would you tell me?
A few times this summer I have felt super used by a group of people, but i pushed it aside and told myself it was crazy. But again the feelings come up, so if i am not good enough to be your friend and someone you are able to talk to instead of just coming out and using my house to drink at when you feel like it then please stop coming out. I have been trying to figure out all the things going on from this summer, from learning i have a blood disorder to medical depression(which i dident bother to address either to people as i figure few would care and i wouldent want to scare the few that do or to Dr's as they would just give me more pills) But hey I figured i was doing ok with everything. Strangly my family have been a massive burden on me this summer, dealing with them has been super hard. Work has been the exact same thing day in and day out for the last 3 and a half months, and that is driving me nuts but gladdly only 3 more days of that. But when it comes to people, not just friends or family but everyone i interact with, i am constantly disappointing them it seems. A few days ago I was at the point where i would have just told every person that gave me a weird look to fuck off, but now i just cant take it anymore
weird
Right now i want to call off all parties but the sept 2nd one, i think im going to roll that around in my head but it really comes down to is if i can live without the distraction from all the crap that parties provide
A few times this summer I have felt super used by a group of people, but i pushed it aside and told myself it was crazy. But again the feelings come up, so if i am not good enough to be your friend and someone you are able to talk to instead of just coming out and using my house to drink at when you feel like it then please stop coming out. I have been trying to figure out all the things going on from this summer, from learning i have a blood disorder to medical depression(which i dident bother to address either to people as i figure few would care and i wouldent want to scare the few that do or to Dr's as they would just give me more pills) But hey I figured i was doing ok with everything. Strangly my family have been a massive burden on me this summer, dealing with them has been super hard. Work has been the exact same thing day in and day out for the last 3 and a half months, and that is driving me nuts but gladdly only 3 more days of that. But when it comes to people, not just friends or family but everyone i interact with, i am constantly disappointing them it seems. A few days ago I was at the point where i would have just told every person that gave me a weird look to fuck off, but now i just cant take it anymore
weird
Right now i want to call off all parties but the sept 2nd one, i think im going to roll that around in my head but it really comes down to is if i can live without the distraction from all the crap that parties provide