She said "I had a bad day again"
Its really odd to me how this whole disastrous break up is helping me grow as a person. its interesting how such positive things are coming from such a negative situation. I feel like I'm becoming stronger albeit slowly and painfully. I felt like absolute shit earlier today but I feel like I'm learning. Learning to balance independence and dependence and choosing more carefully who I lean on. I'm seriously struggling with building my self esteem and not allowing others to so easily affect how I feel about myself. others mainly meaning men. why do i keep allowing myself to accept bad treatment and disrespect?
as side note i still haven't really figured out what the hell happened. one minute i felt like we were in the relationship together and he was grateful that i still wanted to be with him. we were going to work to make our relationship stronger. the next he jumped ship and left me spinning around in circles hanging on to only one oar.
he told me today he'd write me a letter. i really want to know what he thought went wrong. i want to know what i can do better in my next relationship. i also want to stop hate/loving him. i just want him to be this guy i know and that's it.
as side note i still haven't really figured out what the hell happened. one minute i felt like we were in the relationship together and he was grateful that i still wanted to be with him. we were going to work to make our relationship stronger. the next he jumped ship and left me spinning around in circles hanging on to only one oar.
he told me today he'd write me a letter. i really want to know what he thought went wrong. i want to know what i can do better in my next relationship. i also want to stop hate/loving him. i just want him to be this guy i know and that's it.