(no subject)
-----------Mame taken from Flavobean------------------
I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself)to ask you anything.
At A Funeral----
Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
Ask the widow to give you a kiss.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Show up at the funeral services in a clown suit.
Annoying Things to do at a Synagogue
Bring popcorn and keep saying "i heard that religion got a good review"
how To Annoy Your Parents
Paint your windows.
Boil ice cream.
Annoying Things To Do At School
leave a Snickers bar in the toilet.
Draw pictures of your professor in the margins.
Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual.
---------How to annoy people!------------
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark,
17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to
see if they slow down
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while
talking to others.
5. Sing along at the opera.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in
all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU
think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc"
them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance
with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your
hands over your ears.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the
cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are
green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a
croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat
their complimentary mints by the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. don t use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and
reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do
you hear that?", "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger
Theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When
nearly done, announce, no, wait, I messed it up," and
repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head
like a parakeet.
29. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual
massage."
30. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't
rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then
scribble the answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
33. TELL YOUR FRIENDS 4 DAYS PRIOR, THAT YOU CAN'T
ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE
MOOD!
34. Send this list to everyone in your email address book even
if they sent it to you or ask you not to send things like this.
Post subject: 60 ways to anoy a cop !!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer? There's no blood in my alcohol"
2. When they ask why you were speeding, tell them you wanted to race.
3. When they talk to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If they ask if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. When they ask why you were speeding, tell them you had to buy a hat.
6. Ask them where they bought their cool hat.
7. Refer to them by their first name.
8. Pretend you are gay and ask them out.
9. When they say no, cry.
10. If they say yes, accuse them of sexual harassment.
11. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
12. If they ask you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
13. When they asks you to spread them, tell them you don't go that way.
14. When they put the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"
15. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
16. After you sign the ticket and give it to them, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."
17. Bribe them with donuts, and when they agree, tell them sorry, I just ate the last one.
18. When they come up to the car say "License and registration please" right when they say it.
19. When they go to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
20. Trip and fall into them.
21. Accuse them of police brutality when they push you away.
22. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with their pen.
23. Chew on the pen, nervously.
24. Clean your ear with the pen.
25. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
26. Ask them if they ever worked in a prison. If they say yes, ask how the plumbing was.
27. Act like you are retarded.
28. When they're telling you what you did wrong, start repeating them, quietly.
29. Or mumble to yourself.
30. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
31. When they come to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
32. Ask if they watch Cops.
33. Ask if they ever watched Cop Rock.
34. Giggle if they did.
35. Talk to your hand.
36. Ask if they know somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
37. Accuse them of Sexual Harassment if they do.
38. When they frisk you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
39. When they ask to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
40. Try to sell them your car.
41. Ask if you can buy their car.
42. If they take you to the station, ask to sit in front.
43. Play with the siren.
44. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
45. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner.
46. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner.
47. Ask if they ever had pu-tang.
48. If they ask what it is, point at them and giggle.
49. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in languages.
50. When they act confused, keep talking, look at them and laugh.
51. When you are in the back, touch their neck through the fencing.
52. Turn your head and whistle.
53. When they pull out their night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
54. If you are of the opposite sex, say I don't do that on the first date.
55. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, su*ck your thumb, and whine.
56. Ask if you can see their gun.
57. When they say you aren't allowed, tell them "I just wanted to see if mine was bigger."
58. Stare at their lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"
59. Tell them you like men/women in uniform.
60. Ask if you can borrow their uniform for a Halloween party
'Aye? Well, damn them for a pack of greasy hounds. Let me show you my relic. I preserved it south of Madagascar, and I preserved it in Bombay. You will have to stand up. Steady, now - clap on to the cheek-bolt. There!' He pointed to the cap, a dark, worn, rope-scored, massive block of wood that embraced the two masts. 'We cut it out of greenheart in a creek on the Spanish main: it is good for another twenty years. And here, do you see, is my relic.' On the broad rim of the square hole that sat on the topmast head there were the initials JA cut deep and clear, supported on either side by blowsy forms that might have been manatees, though mermaids were more likely - beer-drinking mermaids.
http://www.stevespanglerscience.com/experiment/00000094
I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself)to ask you anything.
At A Funeral----
Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
Ask the widow to give you a kiss.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Show up at the funeral services in a clown suit.
Annoying Things to do at a Synagogue
Bring popcorn and keep saying "i heard that religion got a good review"
how To Annoy Your Parents
Paint your windows.
Boil ice cream.
Annoying Things To Do At School
leave a Snickers bar in the toilet.
Draw pictures of your professor in the margins.
Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual.
---------How to annoy people!------------
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark,
17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to
see if they slow down
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while
talking to others.
5. Sing along at the opera.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in
all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU
think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc"
them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance
with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your
hands over your ears.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the
cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are
green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a
croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat
their complimentary mints by the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. don t use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and
reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do
you hear that?", "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger
Theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When
nearly done, announce, no, wait, I messed it up," and
repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head
like a parakeet.
29. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual
massage."
30. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't
rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then
scribble the answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
33. TELL YOUR FRIENDS 4 DAYS PRIOR, THAT YOU CAN'T
ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE
MOOD!
34. Send this list to everyone in your email address book even
if they sent it to you or ask you not to send things like this.
Post subject: 60 ways to anoy a cop !!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer? There's no blood in my alcohol"
2. When they ask why you were speeding, tell them you wanted to race.
3. When they talk to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If they ask if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. When they ask why you were speeding, tell them you had to buy a hat.
6. Ask them where they bought their cool hat.
7. Refer to them by their first name.
8. Pretend you are gay and ask them out.
9. When they say no, cry.
10. If they say yes, accuse them of sexual harassment.
11. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
12. If they ask you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
13. When they asks you to spread them, tell them you don't go that way.
14. When they put the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"
15. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
16. After you sign the ticket and give it to them, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."
17. Bribe them with donuts, and when they agree, tell them sorry, I just ate the last one.
18. When they come up to the car say "License and registration please" right when they say it.
19. When they go to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
20. Trip and fall into them.
21. Accuse them of police brutality when they push you away.
22. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with their pen.
23. Chew on the pen, nervously.
24. Clean your ear with the pen.
25. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
26. Ask them if they ever worked in a prison. If they say yes, ask how the plumbing was.
27. Act like you are retarded.
28. When they're telling you what you did wrong, start repeating them, quietly.
29. Or mumble to yourself.
30. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
31. When they come to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
32. Ask if they watch Cops.
33. Ask if they ever watched Cop Rock.
34. Giggle if they did.
35. Talk to your hand.
36. Ask if they know somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
37. Accuse them of Sexual Harassment if they do.
38. When they frisk you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
39. When they ask to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
40. Try to sell them your car.
41. Ask if you can buy their car.
42. If they take you to the station, ask to sit in front.
43. Play with the siren.
44. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
45. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner.
46. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner.
47. Ask if they ever had pu-tang.
48. If they ask what it is, point at them and giggle.
49. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in languages.
50. When they act confused, keep talking, look at them and laugh.
51. When you are in the back, touch their neck through the fencing.
52. Turn your head and whistle.
53. When they pull out their night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
54. If you are of the opposite sex, say I don't do that on the first date.
55. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, su*ck your thumb, and whine.
56. Ask if you can see their gun.
57. When they say you aren't allowed, tell them "I just wanted to see if mine was bigger."
58. Stare at their lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"
59. Tell them you like men/women in uniform.
60. Ask if you can borrow their uniform for a Halloween party
'Aye? Well, damn them for a pack of greasy hounds. Let me show you my relic. I preserved it south of Madagascar, and I preserved it in Bombay. You will have to stand up. Steady, now - clap on to the cheek-bolt. There!' He pointed to the cap, a dark, worn, rope-scored, massive block of wood that embraced the two masts. 'We cut it out of greenheart in a creek on the Spanish main: it is good for another twenty years. And here, do you see, is my relic.' On the broad rim of the square hole that sat on the topmast head there were the initials JA cut deep and clear, supported on either side by blowsy forms that might have been manatees, though mermaids were more likely - beer-drinking mermaids.
http://www.stevespanglerscience.com/experiment/00000094