(no subject)
Dear Mother,
Yes, fine. I would have money to buy us food now if I hadn't bought a doll thanksgiving weekend. However, at the time, you SWORE you would pay me back by before now for part the hundreds of dollars you owe me, so I went ahead and spent the seventy dollars on myself for once. I'm aware this makes me a horrible person, and that I should have known you'd manage to blow through money so badly that we don't even have BREAD and can't afford to buy it. Because I should know that I can't believe you or trust your ability to handle money worth a shit, and I'm a completely horrible selfish person for even being a little upset about this.
Of course it's rational behavior for you to scream at me for daring to be upset, then turn around and placate your husband when he complains about having run through his cigarettes and to promise to try to get enough money together to get them for him tomorrow.
I get that I shouldn't have things for myself if we need food more. I agree. I'm not stupid,or s selfish as you like to say I am. But I bought it under the knowledge that you were going to be able to pay me back what you owe me or at least afford food by now. If I had known you planned to flake the fuck out on me, I wouldn't have done it, and we'd have money for me to buy you groceries right now. I don't think it's entirely reasonable for you to be pissed at me for being upset right now.
I'm probably wrong of course, because obviously I should be psychic and know everything.
Also? You don't get to bitch about working two jobs until you've had more than one day at one of them. You've been hired by two places and attended one day of work at one of them, yes. It doesn't mean your life is already so much harder because of it. If you manage to stay at either of them longer than a week (considering you quit the last one after three days, I have my doubts), then I'll take it seriously.
So yes. I'm sorry I bought something for myself , but I was operating under different knowledge at the time. Get a fucking grip.
I have to get my money back and get the hell out of this place. No more letting them guilt me into staying around because they can't afford the rent payments again.