Random Stuff: Jabba, Health Shit, Gaming, What I'm reading, Warhorse and Rhett
Jabba is, apparently, having some kind of kidney issues now. I feel bad for the guy, actually, and hope it's something that can be resolved with his meds because he doesn't actually get what's happening here, and is kind of...rapidly losing touch with reality at this point, or at least does it several times a day. He might or might not end up having to have dialysis done, which would be a JOY for him to have to deal with. I'm not opposed to playing taxi for him if I need; it's not awesome but if it saves my mom work and time, I'll do it. It's more what he'd do while there that embarasses the hell out of me. I really think we need to get him a shirt that explains he has dementia and alzheimers and can't be held responsible for what he says or does so that he can wear it in public. Waiting on his next doc appointment to see what's really up, or if they caught it early enough he can go on oral meds first.
I'd feel worse for him if he hadn't been kind of an ass before he started to get sick. I know he had a traumatic as all fuck childhood, and his father treated him, his brother, and especially my grandma in a way that, in this day and age, would have probably resulted in restraining orders, protective custody, and jail time, which morphed the way he sees the world, and I do feel bad about that, but...separating it from the nasty things he's willingly said and done, and been happy for is...really, really difficult. I keep trying to find peace with it, and go with things as they are, to find acceptance and stuff, but...it's harder than accepting things like my fibro, somehow. That one is more like, well, I can choose to have a full life anyway, by making some adaptations, or I can sit around and be miserable and pissed at life about it. Don't say which one you guys think you see here. This is my bitchy place after all.
I think I did do the other for a while, during the period of "All WOW ALL THE TIME" that I went through two summers ago, escaping into games and things, when I realized I probably wasn't going to be able to become a knight in the SCA and hadn't gotten over the idea that I...needed to redefine my dreams, I suppose, and, while I miss the rush of XP and leveling up, I don't miss dungeoning with random assholes, being killed just because, or the other crap that happened in the hoarde on a regular basis. Nowadays, I do play Guild Wars with Boy, but this is because we're leveling together and have made a commitment to beat the game together and possibly do the expansions, and, well, we mostly chat about shit while we kill things and scream obscenities through our headsets when we die. And I do like DCU Online, but it doesn't have the same addictive feel for me somehow.
I like building characters and letting them hang around their bases more than I like going out to cause crime, or fight it. flail and I need to make a set and level them up, I swear. Or I could kidnap crantz into my madness. Although...is City Of Heroes fun for someone with a...really slow learning curve when it comes to game systems? Or, in the vein of non interactive stuff, the Mass Effect games? It looks like my type of game in terms of story and choices, but I'm not that good at controls or combat so would I be better off just watching the game playthroughs on you tube? Or Bio Shock? Those look right up my twisted little alley.
...Speaking of twisted, has anyone read Helper Twelve yet? It's a new YA dystopian novel, and, once I finished it, I decided I was finally ready for The Handmaid's Tale, which I am LOVING. I started it last night after grading blast part two, and the style is strangely relaxing, which makes the events and society all the more disturbing. I feel like Ofred's acceptance of these things, and constant reminders that she has freedom from these things sort of demonstrates the way she's been lulled into this societial ideal and place, even though she may not actually like it. ...Actually, she hasn't said her name yet where I stopped reading last night, but, yeah. I'm looking forward to more later today.
And, And, Holmes this weekend! I'm probably going on Saturday, so that I can go to my doc appointment on Friday and then to the stupid employee party, and, quite possibly, the shrink. I'm not sure when he wanted me to come in to talk about how I'm coping with pain management again. Uh, I've found some online communities with other people with similar issues who I can talk to, which I've found more helpful than the in-person group conducted by The Fluffiest Shrink In The World, who is also kind of a flake, and gone up on Lyrica, and that...seems to be doing a lot more good than anything else. Not sure how he's going to take that, so it'll be interesting to find out.
Anyway, films.
I also want to see Warhorse, but...I don't know that I can handle it when it comes out. I have nothing to do on the 25th when it opens, since I'm not Christian and don't have church or anything to do, and my family hangs out alone that day, but...well. There are few things in this life that actually disturb me profoundly. I remember in tenth grade reading All Quiet On The Western Front (Still one of my favorites, mind you), and Mr....I want to say that was Mr. B, but I could be wrong. Anyway...he warned us that the chapter was gorey and difficult. I was fine with all of the descriptions in it, actually. More fine than my classmates seemed to be, until we got to the passage where a horse starts screaming and dying. I just...couldn't. Then, the only thing in "Alexander" that bugged me was, again, a dying horse.
I'm thinking, based on the sheer nature of the film, even though the musical clips are not that disturbing and more beautifully poetically tragic, that the film is not going to be good for me to see in a theatre. I might actually try to obtain it through other means to at least watch some footage and see if it's okay for me or not. I can handle just about anything but a injured or hurt horse. I think it's probably all the summers on the farm, the horses I was feeding whose pasture was near our backyard before I was three and, well, my tendency to get too involved when an animal is suffering that does this to me. Just, seriously, That's my nightmare fuel.
And yet I'll happily read novels where bad shit happens to humans, like The Unit, Never Let Me Go and I really want to read the novelization of Amerika or see the miniseries, and can happily sit and dissect 80's Cold War films and documentaries, which disturb me only in the sense of imagining what life felt like then, and the idea of living in this constant state of fear. Sure, they're icky and nasty but...I guess it reflects the human condition in a way, this fact that we go on and stuff. But none of this bugs me the same way seeing animals hurt does. I'm not sure what this says about me, really.
And Rhett, my beautiful, beautiful Rhett, continues to be awesome. I think I've memorized my first two chords and am ready to learn more, and then my first SONG this week. Tuning is a breeze, playing is so COMFORTABLE, and I'm already wearing down my first pick and getting some impressive callouses. I swear though, steel strings may not cut you as much as nylon do, but damn do they hurt after a while. I've also found the tabs for all the stuff I want to play, but, well...It's gonna be a while before I can tackle the Baez and Dylan stuff I want to do. Most of it anyway. The first song my video program is teaching me is Knockin' On Heaven's Door, which is exciting and shit. I think my Lily is a little jealous, but when it comes to being comfortable while I play, and being able to transport instruments, and have something that's not shitty to play on (I mean Lily's not bad, but I've outgrown her, and replacing her is so not gonna happen based on costs for harps and the size and shit. She does make an awesome accent in my room and I still like to plunk around on her when I feel like doing lullabys or celtic stuff) that is still top of the line. So there's that too.
Also, shit, I've been typing for a long time. I'm actually in class, but we have a film on for the last day, so, yeah. We're watching the muppets, I am writing, all is right with the world. Or something...
...Why did I combine prednisone with an energy drink AGAIN? I knew it'd be a bad idea....
I'd feel worse for him if he hadn't been kind of an ass before he started to get sick. I know he had a traumatic as all fuck childhood, and his father treated him, his brother, and especially my grandma in a way that, in this day and age, would have probably resulted in restraining orders, protective custody, and jail time, which morphed the way he sees the world, and I do feel bad about that, but...separating it from the nasty things he's willingly said and done, and been happy for is...really, really difficult. I keep trying to find peace with it, and go with things as they are, to find acceptance and stuff, but...it's harder than accepting things like my fibro, somehow. That one is more like, well, I can choose to have a full life anyway, by making some adaptations, or I can sit around and be miserable and pissed at life about it. Don't say which one you guys think you see here. This is my bitchy place after all.
I think I did do the other for a while, during the period of "All WOW ALL THE TIME" that I went through two summers ago, escaping into games and things, when I realized I probably wasn't going to be able to become a knight in the SCA and hadn't gotten over the idea that I...needed to redefine my dreams, I suppose, and, while I miss the rush of XP and leveling up, I don't miss dungeoning with random assholes, being killed just because, or the other crap that happened in the hoarde on a regular basis. Nowadays, I do play Guild Wars with Boy, but this is because we're leveling together and have made a commitment to beat the game together and possibly do the expansions, and, well, we mostly chat about shit while we kill things and scream obscenities through our headsets when we die. And I do like DCU Online, but it doesn't have the same addictive feel for me somehow.
I like building characters and letting them hang around their bases more than I like going out to cause crime, or fight it. flail and I need to make a set and level them up, I swear. Or I could kidnap crantz into my madness. Although...is City Of Heroes fun for someone with a...really slow learning curve when it comes to game systems? Or, in the vein of non interactive stuff, the Mass Effect games? It looks like my type of game in terms of story and choices, but I'm not that good at controls or combat so would I be better off just watching the game playthroughs on you tube? Or Bio Shock? Those look right up my twisted little alley.
...Speaking of twisted, has anyone read Helper Twelve yet? It's a new YA dystopian novel, and, once I finished it, I decided I was finally ready for The Handmaid's Tale, which I am LOVING. I started it last night after grading blast part two, and the style is strangely relaxing, which makes the events and society all the more disturbing. I feel like Ofred's acceptance of these things, and constant reminders that she has freedom from these things sort of demonstrates the way she's been lulled into this societial ideal and place, even though she may not actually like it. ...Actually, she hasn't said her name yet where I stopped reading last night, but, yeah. I'm looking forward to more later today.
And, And, Holmes this weekend! I'm probably going on Saturday, so that I can go to my doc appointment on Friday and then to the stupid employee party, and, quite possibly, the shrink. I'm not sure when he wanted me to come in to talk about how I'm coping with pain management again. Uh, I've found some online communities with other people with similar issues who I can talk to, which I've found more helpful than the in-person group conducted by The Fluffiest Shrink In The World, who is also kind of a flake, and gone up on Lyrica, and that...seems to be doing a lot more good than anything else. Not sure how he's going to take that, so it'll be interesting to find out.
Anyway, films.
I also want to see Warhorse, but...I don't know that I can handle it when it comes out. I have nothing to do on the 25th when it opens, since I'm not Christian and don't have church or anything to do, and my family hangs out alone that day, but...well. There are few things in this life that actually disturb me profoundly. I remember in tenth grade reading All Quiet On The Western Front (Still one of my favorites, mind you), and Mr....I want to say that was Mr. B, but I could be wrong. Anyway...he warned us that the chapter was gorey and difficult. I was fine with all of the descriptions in it, actually. More fine than my classmates seemed to be, until we got to the passage where a horse starts screaming and dying. I just...couldn't. Then, the only thing in "Alexander" that bugged me was, again, a dying horse.
I'm thinking, based on the sheer nature of the film, even though the musical clips are not that disturbing and more beautifully poetically tragic, that the film is not going to be good for me to see in a theatre. I might actually try to obtain it through other means to at least watch some footage and see if it's okay for me or not. I can handle just about anything but a injured or hurt horse. I think it's probably all the summers on the farm, the horses I was feeding whose pasture was near our backyard before I was three and, well, my tendency to get too involved when an animal is suffering that does this to me. Just, seriously, That's my nightmare fuel.
And yet I'll happily read novels where bad shit happens to humans, like The Unit, Never Let Me Go and I really want to read the novelization of Amerika or see the miniseries, and can happily sit and dissect 80's Cold War films and documentaries, which disturb me only in the sense of imagining what life felt like then, and the idea of living in this constant state of fear. Sure, they're icky and nasty but...I guess it reflects the human condition in a way, this fact that we go on and stuff. But none of this bugs me the same way seeing animals hurt does. I'm not sure what this says about me, really.
And Rhett, my beautiful, beautiful Rhett, continues to be awesome. I think I've memorized my first two chords and am ready to learn more, and then my first SONG this week. Tuning is a breeze, playing is so COMFORTABLE, and I'm already wearing down my first pick and getting some impressive callouses. I swear though, steel strings may not cut you as much as nylon do, but damn do they hurt after a while. I've also found the tabs for all the stuff I want to play, but, well...It's gonna be a while before I can tackle the Baez and Dylan stuff I want to do. Most of it anyway. The first song my video program is teaching me is Knockin' On Heaven's Door, which is exciting and shit. I think my Lily is a little jealous, but when it comes to being comfortable while I play, and being able to transport instruments, and have something that's not shitty to play on (I mean Lily's not bad, but I've outgrown her, and replacing her is so not gonna happen based on costs for harps and the size and shit. She does make an awesome accent in my room and I still like to plunk around on her when I feel like doing lullabys or celtic stuff) that is still top of the line. So there's that too.
Also, shit, I've been typing for a long time. I'm actually in class, but we have a film on for the last day, so, yeah. We're watching the muppets, I am writing, all is right with the world. Or something...
...Why did I combine prednisone with an energy drink AGAIN? I knew it'd be a bad idea....