(no subject)
I wonder what's the worst that could happen if I take the entire bottle of nuerotin, chase it with what's left of my motrin and tylenol and then gulp down the whole bottle of my cooking whiskey. Would I just pass out and die peacefully, or would I die choking on my own puke? If they found me in time to revive me, would they finally believe that I'm in so much pain I can't wait for Friday when they plan to give me more meds? I don't get why they're making me wait but I can't handle this anymore.
I was doing so WELL for a while too. Now I just want to die again. I very, very badly want to die. Mother fucking surgeons fucking up my body for my ENTIRE LIFE. When will it stop hurting? WHEN?
Please Lugh, great god who can do anything, please Apollo, great healer and archer, please gentle Christ, and anyone else willing to help me. Please make it stop HURTING. Please let me get some fucking SLEEP.
I swear, flail. nlduffy and Jesse, who I don't think has an LJ are the only reasons I'm seriously hanging on here, guys. Thanks for being there as I need you. <3