Musings on Faith
While shopping around for a pentacle (I can't find one tiny enough for my tastes), I found a bunch of pagan sites that have all sorts of altar supplies that I probably should stock up on. This made me feel nervous at first, especially when I was first learning how to do what I'd been feeling in my heart for a good year before I accepted it at least (I have backdated lj entries about my doubts in Christianity and about Lugh Bran, let's be honest here, courting me the way he did). Anyway, my gods and their methods aside, I still don't work with a lot of items that I would consider special in any way before I blessed them and got them set up for my workings.
For example, my wand right now is a small broom pen. It doubles as a writing instrument when I need it. Seasonally, I swap this out with a leaf decoration stick from Hobby Lobby of all places. I also use candles for my rituals. Nice candles with appropriate scents but they aren't all candles from the pagan/faerie store either. And a robe? Forget it. I worked with robes once, and a headpiece that I put on especially for ritual, but I sort of gave up the trappings a while ago, when I realized that I don't really need them to do and feel what's in my heart. My gods will listen to me no matter what I wear, no matter what I use to cast my circle, and I'm finally starting to understand what my more experience pagan friends say when they tell me that the thing of importance is the intent behind my praying and my workings. My intent and will are strong, even though I'm very poor at the moment and can't afford these nice things, like the awesome greenman atheme that I found today, or a special wand with chakra stones, or specially embroidered robes with beautiful runed threading.
I want these things, but they no longer strike me as things that I NEED to practice my faith. They're all just trappings to me ultimately. Beautiful trappings that make things seem more solemn and serious and real, of course, but I suppose the going without has taught me that what matters most is my communion with those who have chosen to embrace and love and guide me. They don't care what I wear or what I bring into the circle beyond my intent and I shouldn't worry so much either.
It's all strangely freeing somehow.
Incidentally, would a blog about strange pagan products that I find be something anyone here would like to read?