A conversation with my god
You know those moments you get a spiritual slap in the face/kick in the ass? Yeah. That happened today. A lot happened today, actually. We had a long long conversation, the first god to approach me and I. He calls me his. As in he's sort of claimed me even before I noticed Lugh. Lugh apparently took over when I was not responding since I could understand him a little more clearly. Now though well... I'll quote.
You've started inviting me to your circles, you've decorated your living space with my ravens, and you're still surprised it's me? You?
He also helped me solve a Christmas problem I've been having. See, my deluded aunt is holding our family celebration of bullshit that everyone but her hates on Yule and I'll be stuck there for hours. This really gives me only a couple of options for celebrating. Then my God had this to say:
Why don't you go along and TRICK them into thinking you're celebrating Christmas with them? The symbols are the same for the most part. Just quietly have your own celebration going on and make them think you're still one of them. Sometimes we have to adapt. How do you think that we survived the Christians, even in smaller numbers? How do you think Christianity adapted to be so close to our culture as it is?
And then there was the bit about...well problems I've been having with shopping for presents and worrying if they work for people.
Look at the dishes you're washing. Soap and water work as well as the machine when you need them to. Why can't Christmas be the same. Look at my birds. Take the things you have, and use your skills and creativity to adapt. You're my daughter. You can manage.
There was also the part where it was hammered into my head that I don't know everything I think I know and that I'm not expected to, and that I don't always have to have the answers for things, and that it's okay to make mistakes and lots of other things that I don't handle well.
It's amazing how much more peaceful I feel about everything. All from the presences of my dark eyed God in hunting leathers who has finally reassured me things will be all right. I have never felt this way before. Like I am being taken care of and am loved by someone bigger than me who can help me to take care of things. I never felt this way once when I was a Catholic, through all the years of school, and church and confirmation. It just wasn't ever so real, so raw and so immediate. I have been blessed, and now I finally feel okay.
You've started inviting me to your circles, you've decorated your living space with my ravens, and you're still surprised it's me? You?
He also helped me solve a Christmas problem I've been having. See, my deluded aunt is holding our family celebration of bullshit that everyone but her hates on Yule and I'll be stuck there for hours. This really gives me only a couple of options for celebrating. Then my God had this to say:
Why don't you go along and TRICK them into thinking you're celebrating Christmas with them? The symbols are the same for the most part. Just quietly have your own celebration going on and make them think you're still one of them. Sometimes we have to adapt. How do you think that we survived the Christians, even in smaller numbers? How do you think Christianity adapted to be so close to our culture as it is?
And then there was the bit about...well problems I've been having with shopping for presents and worrying if they work for people.
Look at the dishes you're washing. Soap and water work as well as the machine when you need them to. Why can't Christmas be the same. Look at my birds. Take the things you have, and use your skills and creativity to adapt. You're my daughter. You can manage.
There was also the part where it was hammered into my head that I don't know everything I think I know and that I'm not expected to, and that I don't always have to have the answers for things, and that it's okay to make mistakes and lots of other things that I don't handle well.
It's amazing how much more peaceful I feel about everything. All from the presences of my dark eyed God in hunting leathers who has finally reassured me things will be all right. I have never felt this way before. Like I am being taken care of and am loved by someone bigger than me who can help me to take care of things. I never felt this way once when I was a Catholic, through all the years of school, and church and confirmation. It just wasn't ever so real, so raw and so immediate. I have been blessed, and now I finally feel okay.