Well
I had another coming out of the broom closet nightmare last night. Okay, it was my first but still. I'm sure other people have had them and lived to survive. In this one, Lord Vader, who I have not spoken to since March, found out I was an ex Catholic. It was...interesting to say the least.
Hold on a sec, I have to go move laundry...
Okay yes. So in this dream, it was around the holidays. I don't know why I was speaking to Lord Vader at this point but it came up that I didn't feel right saying or doing something or other and he was all boring down on me, glaring and demanding I explain myself. So...I did. And he was about to launch into one of his horrific screaming fits where he spits as he speaks (actually true, this has happened, like the time he found out I was pro choice, or freaked out over the altar boyz soundtrack) when I woke up.
This is weird because in real life, everyone who knows has been supportive, and because my god is absolutely amazing, making me feel in control of my life for perhaps the first time ever, and I wish I could go out proselytizing, only I'm not going to be a hypocrite and try to force other people to believe what I think when that's been done to me enough in the past.
So...no idea what that was all about. Maybe it's family reunion weekend and I feel guilty or something. I don't think I'm still afraid of my father or what he thinks, especially since I realized that I spent most of my life being emotionally and mentally abused by him and that my brothers and I all fall into various disturbing patterns of people who grow up in dysfunctional families (and I mean, I got to escape most of the time but when I'm around them, I still fall into those patterns). Maybe I'm slowly realizing that there IS a better way.
Either way. It was interesting.
Hold on a sec, I have to go move laundry...
Okay yes. So in this dream, it was around the holidays. I don't know why I was speaking to Lord Vader at this point but it came up that I didn't feel right saying or doing something or other and he was all boring down on me, glaring and demanding I explain myself. So...I did. And he was about to launch into one of his horrific screaming fits where he spits as he speaks (actually true, this has happened, like the time he found out I was pro choice, or freaked out over the altar boyz soundtrack) when I woke up.
This is weird because in real life, everyone who knows has been supportive, and because my god is absolutely amazing, making me feel in control of my life for perhaps the first time ever, and I wish I could go out proselytizing, only I'm not going to be a hypocrite and try to force other people to believe what I think when that's been done to me enough in the past.
So...no idea what that was all about. Maybe it's family reunion weekend and I feel guilty or something. I don't think I'm still afraid of my father or what he thinks, especially since I realized that I spent most of my life being emotionally and mentally abused by him and that my brothers and I all fall into various disturbing patterns of people who grow up in dysfunctional families (and I mean, I got to escape most of the time but when I'm around them, I still fall into those patterns). Maybe I'm slowly realizing that there IS a better way.
Either way. It was interesting.