bleh on today.
so we decided to do the build-a-bear idea and are going to do it tomorrow, july 22, which would be Mia's due date had she lived. i am going to put four hearts inside the bear, one for me, one for gaib, one for my dad and one for my mom. this is the bear we chose. i can't wait to hold my daughter again!
i had two sessions of grief therapy today and it went well. i think i have come a long way since Mia's passing and i think i will continue to grow as a person because of it. i love my daughter, but everything happens for a reason and i was chosen to be her mommy for a reason. i am glad that she was given to me instead of someone else who didn't care.
i also went to the doctor's today. i had been hoping i was pregnant again... but i'm not. :( so i'm back on depo provera. yay (sarcasim). gaib and i decided to wait two years to have kids that way we can be finacially, mentally, and physically ready for a baby. this was heartbreaking to decide and it crushed me to learn i wasn't pregnant... but now isn't the time.
i also donated all of Mia's clothes, some blankets, a bath tub, two carriers, an entire uhaul box of formula, diapers and wipies.. to the pregnancy help center today. for some reason i got back from my first session and just knew that now was the time to donate the baby things... i kept the crib, swing, and playpen for when i do have children but everything else was donated. i feel better for it... someone will benifit from it who really needs it. that is a good thought.
tomorrow i go to finalize things for Mia's funeral with Father Bill. i still haven't been able to finish, let alone get anywhere near finished.. writing my speech. :( the words don't seem to come out right. nothing seems appropriate. ideas?? thoughts????
argh. i am going to go shower because i'm icky from the humidity.
i had two sessions of grief therapy today and it went well. i think i have come a long way since Mia's passing and i think i will continue to grow as a person because of it. i love my daughter, but everything happens for a reason and i was chosen to be her mommy for a reason. i am glad that she was given to me instead of someone else who didn't care.
i also went to the doctor's today. i had been hoping i was pregnant again... but i'm not. :( so i'm back on depo provera. yay (sarcasim). gaib and i decided to wait two years to have kids that way we can be finacially, mentally, and physically ready for a baby. this was heartbreaking to decide and it crushed me to learn i wasn't pregnant... but now isn't the time.
i also donated all of Mia's clothes, some blankets, a bath tub, two carriers, an entire uhaul box of formula, diapers and wipies.. to the pregnancy help center today. for some reason i got back from my first session and just knew that now was the time to donate the baby things... i kept the crib, swing, and playpen for when i do have children but everything else was donated. i feel better for it... someone will benifit from it who really needs it. that is a good thought.
tomorrow i go to finalize things for Mia's funeral with Father Bill. i still haven't been able to finish, let alone get anywhere near finished.. writing my speech. :( the words don't seem to come out right. nothing seems appropriate. ideas?? thoughts????
argh. i am going to go shower because i'm icky from the humidity.