Purging junk but not memories...
The first year that Jason and I dated we fought constantly. It was during one of those crazy painful fights that the question of “What do you want from me?” was asked. So I wrote down what I actually wanted.. and while purging junk I found the letter. I thought I’d share.
"I want something real, an emotional, physical and lifelong journey of loyalty and adventure. Company to see me through life, pick me up when my spirit has been bruised; to love me when I’m torn, ragged and an emotional wreck. A constant show of love rather spoken or unseen. I need the feeling of that warm secure peaceful place where I know everything is okay. Warm arms to wake up in, to share morning breath and kisses on the forehead. A give and take situation not a river feeding the ocean. Someone that can make me laugh, so we can laugh together in rockers when we retired. Sweet pleasant surprises… I like the little stupid things, just to know that I’m being thought of. I want someone to show me new things, cultures, worlds and enjoy the different things I can share with them. Independence But not selfishness! Considerate sharing full of long conversations at midnight bearing our souls of truth. Someone who would do anything for me as I would for them. I need something constant not just convenient. Shared dreams; victories and losses. A person to want, accept and value who I am and what I bring to the relationship. Someone who will step back at the end of the day with me and just be proud of what we are together and apart. I want someone who knows me inside and out, who knows my weaknesses and doesn’t use them against me but strengthens them with their own strengths. A person who looks into my eyes and sees our future and we are overcome with passion, intimacy and commitment expelling from our souls."
I remember crying my eyes out at like 2 in the morning while writing this on a red piece of construction paper. I am amazed that it is as coherent as it is.. and a pretty good idea of what I actually was looking for. I’m still not sure why we fought so much that first year, but I guess it was us just working out the kinks. I love you Jason. Thanks for being everything I asked for.
"I want something real, an emotional, physical and lifelong journey of loyalty and adventure. Company to see me through life, pick me up when my spirit has been bruised; to love me when I’m torn, ragged and an emotional wreck. A constant show of love rather spoken or unseen. I need the feeling of that warm secure peaceful place where I know everything is okay. Warm arms to wake up in, to share morning breath and kisses on the forehead. A give and take situation not a river feeding the ocean. Someone that can make me laugh, so we can laugh together in rockers when we retired. Sweet pleasant surprises… I like the little stupid things, just to know that I’m being thought of. I want someone to show me new things, cultures, worlds and enjoy the different things I can share with them. Independence But not selfishness! Considerate sharing full of long conversations at midnight bearing our souls of truth. Someone who would do anything for me as I would for them. I need something constant not just convenient. Shared dreams; victories and losses. A person to want, accept and value who I am and what I bring to the relationship. Someone who will step back at the end of the day with me and just be proud of what we are together and apart. I want someone who knows me inside and out, who knows my weaknesses and doesn’t use them against me but strengthens them with their own strengths. A person who looks into my eyes and sees our future and we are overcome with passion, intimacy and commitment expelling from our souls."
I remember crying my eyes out at like 2 in the morning while writing this on a red piece of construction paper. I am amazed that it is as coherent as it is.. and a pretty good idea of what I actually was looking for. I’m still not sure why we fought so much that first year, but I guess it was us just working out the kinks. I love you Jason. Thanks for being everything I asked for.