hate this way of life
ever imagine what your life would be like when you were little. In my head I would have wonderful boyfriends who would bring me flowers and kiss me on the cheek. I thought that I would get married youngish and be so in love. My house would be perfect and trendy as would the way I dress. I knew I would love my job and have a million friends to hang out with.
guess that didn't work out.
I am probably going to get a job at cake love with my aunt which should be ok. It will get me by. My friends are all but gone, I feel so forgotten. I am hanging with dani tomorrow so that something but she is going back to school soon. Now with mel and jesse down at the point I hardly see them. Most of my friends are at college or some of my old friends are just to obsessed with their boy friends to remember me I suppose. Chris has been trying. he says I am beautiful more often and tries to pay more attention to me. still things are strained lately. I still have never gotten flowers or jewelry from him. in the over 2 years of seeing each other I have gotten a tea pot and most recently a kurt halsey calender. nice gifts but I guess im just used to boyfriends who essentially worship the ground I walk on lol.
My family has forgotten about me pretty much now. with all the focus on grandbo and what to do with grandma my mom and sister are consumed and my dad as usual just does whatever my mom tells him too.
That leaves me sitting here..feeling sorry for myself..and being angry at myself. I could have prevented this all. I could have not gone back with chris, I could have moved to philly, I could have staid at my parents house a bit longer..there are so many things I could have done differently.
I miss dressing up. I have so many cute clothes and dresses, none of which get worn. I never get to go anywhere except to take chris to work, interviews, and sometimes to my moms house to do laundry.
I need to get out of this slump soon. I'm going crazy...
guess that didn't work out.
I am probably going to get a job at cake love with my aunt which should be ok. It will get me by. My friends are all but gone, I feel so forgotten. I am hanging with dani tomorrow so that something but she is going back to school soon. Now with mel and jesse down at the point I hardly see them. Most of my friends are at college or some of my old friends are just to obsessed with their boy friends to remember me I suppose. Chris has been trying. he says I am beautiful more often and tries to pay more attention to me. still things are strained lately. I still have never gotten flowers or jewelry from him. in the over 2 years of seeing each other I have gotten a tea pot and most recently a kurt halsey calender. nice gifts but I guess im just used to boyfriends who essentially worship the ground I walk on lol.
My family has forgotten about me pretty much now. with all the focus on grandbo and what to do with grandma my mom and sister are consumed and my dad as usual just does whatever my mom tells him too.
That leaves me sitting here..feeling sorry for myself..and being angry at myself. I could have prevented this all. I could have not gone back with chris, I could have moved to philly, I could have staid at my parents house a bit longer..there are so many things I could have done differently.
I miss dressing up. I have so many cute clothes and dresses, none of which get worn. I never get to go anywhere except to take chris to work, interviews, and sometimes to my moms house to do laundry.
I need to get out of this slump soon. I'm going crazy...