guh
im coming to see just how messed up i am. I have had boy friends that treat me like dirt(i didnt even realize) and i tend to settle with them (matt being the exception he was great). i know it stems from my lack of self confidence but this is horrible. I am so entierly exausted with men im taking a break from them, haveing a bf for the good part of 3 years=not a good idea. now im almost dependent on haveing a bf, when ones not there i go crazy. i love all the kids at school that say oh look how nice and innocent mollie is! WRONG! im a mean horrible person...dont even try to deny it. i was proud of myself when i didnt punch mindy in the face today. what the hell is it with her?!? i truely think she is on a mission to ruin my life slowly like chinese water tourture! guh...i didnt do anything to her...ever..i was her only friend many times and how does she repay me??? by glareing and makeing stupid comment to me that no one knows just what they mean except me?? great, i dont know why i let this get to me...but it does. not many people hate me so when someone does its weird. i dont even talk at school for god damn sakes! i dont do that for fun, i do it to avoid these kinds of situations! but yes i break peoples hearts a lot! why do people date me? im not pretty...not even funny(though i try to be), im not smart i just try really hard, i suppose it must be cause im a foozie...oh well im dont ranting and wallowing in self pity...i shouldnt even be allowed to be like this! yet again starving orphan africans!!!