(no subject)
The semester, recapped:
GPA: 3.6
"The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything."
Rejections: 1
"Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart."
Religious "discussions": 2
"We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another."
"The test of courage comes when we are in the minority."
"New" friends: 4(?)
"Friends are the sunshine of life."
"A friend is one before whom I may think aloud."
"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?"
"We all need friends with whom we can speak of our deepest concerns, and who do not fear to speak the truth in love to us."
"One must be fond of people and trust them if one is not to make a mess of life."
Life lessons learned: countless
"It's not what happens to you that counts, but how you handle it. It's not how far you fall, but how well you bounce."
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
Have I found my purpose? I don't know.
"But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for."
Regrets: 0 (I think)
"Fear not for the future, weep not for the past."
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."
Money made: $0
"Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort."
"Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night."
Books read: several, and some remain half-read i admit
"It is chiefly through books that we enjoy the intercourse with superior minds... In the best books, great men talk to us, give us their most previous thought, and pour their souls into ours. God be thanked for books."
You know, internet. This year was different. I have had battle scars from unrequited love over the years, though this one was different. I loved someone out of my league, who loves God more than he loves anyone, who is beautiful, who is talented, who is more than anyone I've ever met. Just more. He thinks I'm not good enough for him, and you know what? That's pretty okay right now. Maybe I'm not. I can handle that. But you know what? I grew from that experience. That's the first time I really put my heart on the line. I went up to him and asked something like, "Hey. Why don't we date?" Best decision of my life. I had to know. Just had to know. And next time I won't be so scared. But you know what kills me about this? He takes all these pictures with this girl. She's pretty. She's talented. She works hard. But I have never seen her do one kind thing since I've known her. I know it's wrong for me to be like this, but how can you find beauty in something or someone that doesn't show love, compassion, or kindness? I'm not the nicest person in the world. I'm not perfect. I'm not talented. But I try to make life easier for everyone else around me. I ask them how they're doing. I ask if they're okay. I ask them if they need anything. I do my best to be aware and sensitive to the needs of others. But it's not good enough. Yes I'm bitter. But now I know how the world works. Who the world prefers. But I won't change. Fuck no. I will press on. This won't get me down. This won't change me for the worse. What if I never love romantically again? Too damn bad. I'll still love my fellow people. I'll help them. If I die alone, who cares? I die as one who made a difference, however small it was.
GPA: 3.6
"The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything."
Rejections: 1
"Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart."
Religious "discussions": 2
"We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another."
"The test of courage comes when we are in the minority."
"New" friends: 4(?)
"Friends are the sunshine of life."
"A friend is one before whom I may think aloud."
"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?"
"We all need friends with whom we can speak of our deepest concerns, and who do not fear to speak the truth in love to us."
"One must be fond of people and trust them if one is not to make a mess of life."
Life lessons learned: countless
"It's not what happens to you that counts, but how you handle it. It's not how far you fall, but how well you bounce."
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
Have I found my purpose? I don't know.
"But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for."
Regrets: 0 (I think)
"Fear not for the future, weep not for the past."
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."
Money made: $0
"Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort."
"Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night."
Books read: several, and some remain half-read i admit
"It is chiefly through books that we enjoy the intercourse with superior minds... In the best books, great men talk to us, give us their most previous thought, and pour their souls into ours. God be thanked for books."
You know, internet. This year was different. I have had battle scars from unrequited love over the years, though this one was different. I loved someone out of my league, who loves God more than he loves anyone, who is beautiful, who is talented, who is more than anyone I've ever met. Just more. He thinks I'm not good enough for him, and you know what? That's pretty okay right now. Maybe I'm not. I can handle that. But you know what? I grew from that experience. That's the first time I really put my heart on the line. I went up to him and asked something like, "Hey. Why don't we date?" Best decision of my life. I had to know. Just had to know. And next time I won't be so scared. But you know what kills me about this? He takes all these pictures with this girl. She's pretty. She's talented. She works hard. But I have never seen her do one kind thing since I've known her. I know it's wrong for me to be like this, but how can you find beauty in something or someone that doesn't show love, compassion, or kindness? I'm not the nicest person in the world. I'm not perfect. I'm not talented. But I try to make life easier for everyone else around me. I ask them how they're doing. I ask if they're okay. I ask them if they need anything. I do my best to be aware and sensitive to the needs of others. But it's not good enough. Yes I'm bitter. But now I know how the world works. Who the world prefers. But I won't change. Fuck no. I will press on. This won't get me down. This won't change me for the worse. What if I never love romantically again? Too damn bad. I'll still love my fellow people. I'll help them. If I die alone, who cares? I die as one who made a difference, however small it was.