NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
WHY DOES MERLIN INSIST ON KILLING ALL OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT THE SHOW? WHY? Not that Lancelot is gone for good or anything, because he's Lancelot, but I was so thoroughly enjoying the fact that Lancelot was now a permanent fixture of the show, and Arthur was being all jealous of Lancelot jumping at the chance to save Merlin, and Lancelot was being all tragically in love with Gwen, and GOD, WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF? He was the only thing keeping me sane over Uther's role being drastically reduced. I WANT HIS DREAMY FACE ON MY SCREEN FOR ALWAYS.
Shallowness aside, I did love the narrative aspect of Lancelot sacrificing himself. I mean, yeah, he would be more heroic if he had sacrificed himself for Camelot and not [what he thought would be] Gwen's happiness, but Lancelot is the first person to tell you that he is not as brave and noble as people make him out to be. He's not perfect. He just... he's lost. From the very beginning he's been very lost: a peasant who wants to be and has the skill set of a knight, therefore he fits in neither class; a man who wants to be brave but has no idea what he's capable of; a man who loves with his whole heart but doesn't think he deserves that kind of love in return. He is just so unsure of himself in pretty much every aspect of his life. So, him sacrificing himself? It wasn't about Gwen, it was about himself. He was finally committing to something, finally finding a purpose for his life, finally caring about something enough to do something that insane.
And, I'm not gonna lie, I loved seeing Gwen break down. I wanted to see her feeling guilty. I wanted her to realize that she still had feelings for him lingering somewhere inside of her. And now the real conflict for Gwen will be (once Lancelot comes back) "Do I love the man who loves his kingdom more than he loves me, or do I love the man who will always love me above all else?" They are both noble-hearted men and they are both heroes, it's just that Arthur will always be Camelot's hero, while Lancelot will always be Gwen's hero, and that's just a rough choice that she'll have to make, and I can totally buy a future where she is 100% in love with both men, or else she'll feel an obligation to Arthur while she feels love for Lancelot. IDK IDK. I don't even know when I became so fascinated with this love triangle in this version of the Arthurian legend, because lord knows it did nothing for me before (I've always been into Lancelot/Gwen, but never really thought about how Arthur would factor into it since I always thought that Gwen's heart would belong to Lancelot and Arthur is clearly in love with Merlin, but then Gwen was all about Arthur and then Lancelot came back and she was all cold to him, and now I'm convinced that she'll be equally in love with both men, and I just can't resist that craziness. Also, Lancelot is really dreamy).
As for Morgana, she was just plain crazy in this ep. Like, bag lady in the park with pigeons in her hair kind of crazy. And her UST with Arthur's uncle is just reminding me of Uther/Morgana and I can't help but think that he is Uther's replacement for her. She can't be having dirtybadwrong tension with Uther anymore now that she knows that he's her daddy, so, she chose her step-uncle this time, and the show is being scarily overt about it, too. I swear the uncle thought that they were going to kiss at one point, and then Morgana pulls away and kind of rolls her eyes like she's thinking, "God, men are easy." Heeeee, I love that that part of Morgana is still there.
Also, I kind of melted when that magic lady called Arthur Merlin's prince. The show isn't even trying to be subtle anymore. Merlin just gladly admits that he loves Arthur enough to die for him, and Arthur is being referred to as "Your prince" in regards to Merlin, and just... they need to makeout already. Arthur was ready to forget his quest in order to keep Merlin alive. Arthur's heart: Merlin > Camelot > Gwen.
And I am still loving Arthur's Perky Posse (you see what I did there? Too much? But seriously, they really are starting to feel like Robin Hood and his Merry Men).