(no subject)
i have been stressed all week. I think its because i have 6 classes but not that much work right now for some reason, so when im not doing any i feel like i should be. everytime i ever have anything to say about a girl, i feel like on here, "girls are weird" works better, because i dont really know what to say. i guess when i start getting into someone i get scared that if anything happens and i get over it i will make them sad. I guess if i meet someone who is the right person, it wont really matter. Time is going by so fast. My senior project is taking a lot of time, it will be done, then i will be almost done. One more quarter. Its weird, by next Christmas break, i will have left all of this behind and i dont know for what. I feel like i am having an end of college crisis a little. I know if i moved home to huntington beach, i would forget about my friends up here in a few weeks, just like how when im up here i dont think about my friends at home much after not seeing them for a while, with occasional glimpses of longing. last time i went home i felt like i was ready to live down there again. Now that i am back up here, i dont want to leave. I always feel like i dont meet any one up here but recently i guess that has been different, i have met people i like. and last time i was in sf, i though about how i could live up there, there would be enough to do. What about peru? Will that work out? a few people encourage me to do what i want. maybe what i want isnt the best but if i dont go for it i will always wonder. I was looking at pictures from ventura, and i miss it there even. I dont miss having no friends there, but i became familiar with it and i will probably never live there again. I cant do it all, and i want to do it all simultaneously. I want to be at gaviotas again, that is for sure. I lost my phone last night, and i had a few important calls to make today, but i almost dont want to pick it up. I feel anxious right now and i dont know why, i think i am doing everything that i am supposed to be right now.