"Just A Crush" - The Italian Job - Lyle/Rob, Rob/Left Ear.
Title: Just A Crush.
Author: Keija.
Fandom: The Italian Job (2003).
Pairing(s): Lyle/Handsome Rob [unrequited], Handsome Rob/Left Ear [implied].
Rated: 13+ for abusing the f word a couple of times.
Author Note: Apparently I'll slash anything once, heh. For #41, 1000 words.
---
Lyle watched Handsome Rob out of the corner of his eye, trying to be inconspicuous. Rob was leaning against the bonnet of the white Mini Cooper he'd been designated to drive, exuding his customary air of casual sexuality, a cigarette held loosely between his fingers. Lyle doubts that Rob realises what kind of effect he's been having on Lyle for the last year or so but it doesn't stop him from thinking about how unfair it is that Rob can pull off looking so… artfully casual and so fucking tempting, every fucking minute of every fucking day. Lyle thinks it really needs to be disallowed because, damn it, he needs to be able to concentrate. Hacking is a serious business and he realises now that ignoring Handsome Rob was much easier to do before he started to consider that it was possible Rob had slept with men, as well as the myriad of women he already knew about.
Lyle's always wondered about the undercurrents he can sometimes sense permeating Rob's interaction with Left Ear, has always wondered about the easy familiarity between them that sends his feelings into overdrive and his mind jumping to conclusions. He hates how the two of them are always paired up for car journeys and stake-outs; hates it nearly as much as he hates the fact that he's usually somewhere else altogether, his laptop 'armed' and at the ready, waiting to pull off another technological achievement that few of them will truly appreciate and even fewer will understand.
Handsome Rob and Left Ear have done many a stake-out together over the years and a few months ago, when Lyle was feeling both brave and devious, he'd gotten Left Ear drunk and asked the questions he'd always wanted to know the answers too but never had the courage to ask. Left Ear had only hinted at what they did to pass the time but he'd said just enough to leave Lyle's body inflamed with jealousy and need, a problem compounded by the alcohol he'd drunk earlier to boost his courage. He hadn't been able to meet Left Ear's eyes for a week after that and he swears that Left Ear remembers the conversation they had; it's in the amused and vaguely pitying looks that Left Ear sometimes sends him, whenever he catches Lyle staring at Handsome Rob.
Lyle can't know for certain but he suspects and even just suspecting makes Rob's presence harder to ignore. It isn't his fault he's gone and gotten a crush on Handsome Rob, or that Rob sometimes smiles at him in a way that promises more than he'll ever deliver, but it's just a crush and Lyle can handle it, he knows he can.
Okay, so, there are times when it does affect him… like the times when Rob will make him nervous and then he'll babble or throw out the worst, most clichéd joke he can think of, just to have something to say. Then Rob will tease him for being a geek, roll his eyes, or insinuate that jokes like those are the reason Lyle can't get a date and Lyle will have to look away in embarrassment, trying to ignore the knots in his stomach and the slow burn of arousal that always accompanies Handsome Rob's presence in a one-on-one situation.
It's just a crush, he tells himself firmly, he can't help it. It snuck up on him and took him by surprise, he didn't expect it and he wouldn't have chosen it: he wouldn't. No sane person would choose to care about someone when they already know they aren't interested, when they already know that person won't care back.
He used to think that these feelings would go away but they haven't and, although he already knows that it's hopeless and that Rob won't look twice at him, he can't stifle the part of him that keeps hoping things will change. Lyle knows Rob can have anyone he wants, anytime he wants them, but Lyle only really wants him and it stings that Rob obviously doesn't consider him worthy, when he's hardly discriminate about who he takes to bed.
He has an ever-growing collection of memories, of moments that feature himself sat alone in his room, with a bottle of alcohol for company and his own bitter thoughts, thinking that Rob will fuck anything with a pulse except him and it's those moments where he'll tell himself that, really, he hates Rob -- doesn't like him even a little bit -- and he'll wish that they'd never met, that John Bridger hadn't pulled them onto the same team all those years ago.
The bitter thoughts never last for long and, when they lift, his all-too-real feelings are still there and still clamouring for his attention. Instead of acknowledging them he focuses on the end of this job, when they'll all have enough money to go their separate ways and he won't have to 'suffer' Handsome Rob's presence anymore. He tells himself that the thought doesn't hurt, that the idea of them all not working together doesn't cut deep into his heart and that he won't miss it. He tells himself that the fact that he feels accepted, for the first time, within this group of people doesn't matter: he won't miss them.
Except he's lying. Because he already misses them and this job isn't over yet but he'll never admit it, not even to himself. He doesn't think he'll ever really be able to forget Handsome Rob but the physical distance the end of this job will bring will help him to keep his desires and thoughts in check. As far as he's concerned, that's where they belong: in check and unacknowledged. His life doesn't need any more complications.
Besides this… thing he has for Handsome Rob is just a crush, really, nothing more than that. Crushes can be ignored and unrequited crushes don't break people's hearts. It's just a crush and Lyle can deal with that.
Author: Keija.
Fandom: The Italian Job (2003).
Pairing(s): Lyle/Handsome Rob [unrequited], Handsome Rob/Left Ear [implied].
Rated: 13+ for abusing the f word a couple of times.
Author Note: Apparently I'll slash anything once, heh. For #41, 1000 words.
---
Lyle watched Handsome Rob out of the corner of his eye, trying to be inconspicuous. Rob was leaning against the bonnet of the white Mini Cooper he'd been designated to drive, exuding his customary air of casual sexuality, a cigarette held loosely between his fingers. Lyle doubts that Rob realises what kind of effect he's been having on Lyle for the last year or so but it doesn't stop him from thinking about how unfair it is that Rob can pull off looking so… artfully casual and so fucking tempting, every fucking minute of every fucking day. Lyle thinks it really needs to be disallowed because, damn it, he needs to be able to concentrate. Hacking is a serious business and he realises now that ignoring Handsome Rob was much easier to do before he started to consider that it was possible Rob had slept with men, as well as the myriad of women he already knew about.
Lyle's always wondered about the undercurrents he can sometimes sense permeating Rob's interaction with Left Ear, has always wondered about the easy familiarity between them that sends his feelings into overdrive and his mind jumping to conclusions. He hates how the two of them are always paired up for car journeys and stake-outs; hates it nearly as much as he hates the fact that he's usually somewhere else altogether, his laptop 'armed' and at the ready, waiting to pull off another technological achievement that few of them will truly appreciate and even fewer will understand.
Handsome Rob and Left Ear have done many a stake-out together over the years and a few months ago, when Lyle was feeling both brave and devious, he'd gotten Left Ear drunk and asked the questions he'd always wanted to know the answers too but never had the courage to ask. Left Ear had only hinted at what they did to pass the time but he'd said just enough to leave Lyle's body inflamed with jealousy and need, a problem compounded by the alcohol he'd drunk earlier to boost his courage. He hadn't been able to meet Left Ear's eyes for a week after that and he swears that Left Ear remembers the conversation they had; it's in the amused and vaguely pitying looks that Left Ear sometimes sends him, whenever he catches Lyle staring at Handsome Rob.
Lyle can't know for certain but he suspects and even just suspecting makes Rob's presence harder to ignore. It isn't his fault he's gone and gotten a crush on Handsome Rob, or that Rob sometimes smiles at him in a way that promises more than he'll ever deliver, but it's just a crush and Lyle can handle it, he knows he can.
Okay, so, there are times when it does affect him… like the times when Rob will make him nervous and then he'll babble or throw out the worst, most clichéd joke he can think of, just to have something to say. Then Rob will tease him for being a geek, roll his eyes, or insinuate that jokes like those are the reason Lyle can't get a date and Lyle will have to look away in embarrassment, trying to ignore the knots in his stomach and the slow burn of arousal that always accompanies Handsome Rob's presence in a one-on-one situation.
It's just a crush, he tells himself firmly, he can't help it. It snuck up on him and took him by surprise, he didn't expect it and he wouldn't have chosen it: he wouldn't. No sane person would choose to care about someone when they already know they aren't interested, when they already know that person won't care back.
He used to think that these feelings would go away but they haven't and, although he already knows that it's hopeless and that Rob won't look twice at him, he can't stifle the part of him that keeps hoping things will change. Lyle knows Rob can have anyone he wants, anytime he wants them, but Lyle only really wants him and it stings that Rob obviously doesn't consider him worthy, when he's hardly discriminate about who he takes to bed.
He has an ever-growing collection of memories, of moments that feature himself sat alone in his room, with a bottle of alcohol for company and his own bitter thoughts, thinking that Rob will fuck anything with a pulse except him and it's those moments where he'll tell himself that, really, he hates Rob -- doesn't like him even a little bit -- and he'll wish that they'd never met, that John Bridger hadn't pulled them onto the same team all those years ago.
The bitter thoughts never last for long and, when they lift, his all-too-real feelings are still there and still clamouring for his attention. Instead of acknowledging them he focuses on the end of this job, when they'll all have enough money to go their separate ways and he won't have to 'suffer' Handsome Rob's presence anymore. He tells himself that the thought doesn't hurt, that the idea of them all not working together doesn't cut deep into his heart and that he won't miss it. He tells himself that the fact that he feels accepted, for the first time, within this group of people doesn't matter: he won't miss them.
Except he's lying. Because he already misses them and this job isn't over yet but he'll never admit it, not even to himself. He doesn't think he'll ever really be able to forget Handsome Rob but the physical distance the end of this job will bring will help him to keep his desires and thoughts in check. As far as he's concerned, that's where they belong: in check and unacknowledged. His life doesn't need any more complications.
Besides this… thing he has for Handsome Rob is just a crush, really, nothing more than that. Crushes can be ignored and unrequited crushes don't break people's hearts. It's just a crush and Lyle can deal with that.