My precious
It's a strange thing, trying to buy back your own possessions. Makes you begin to under who owns who.
Last month I was visiting Allan when someone broke into my car and stole, amoung other things, my and his laptops (we had put them into my trunk while we went to a movie, so they'd be hidden and "safe" in my locked car), his Ipod, my suitcase, my gym bag, and my briefcase. We found the gym bag and briefcase in a nearby garbage can - thank goodness, because my briefcase was filled with confidential work files and HIPPA would've had my head. We later found out that someone wandering through the park had found my suitcase and turned it over to the police. This turned into a two-week long excursion with Allan and I trying to get it back - the evidence locker was closed over the weekend, while I was in town, and they wanted multiple proofs that I was who I claimed to be and that Allan, who was picking it up for me, was who he said he was as well. The "stinkin' teevs" took a few random things from my suitcase - a cloth belt with absolutely no monetary value, my cell phone charger (not the cell phone, which I had with me)...the only thing of value that they took from the suitcase was, unfortunately, my jewelery.
It's not that my jewelery is expensive. I'm sure that all put together, what they got was under $200. The trouble is that it was all my favourite pieces - this gorgeous Star of David necklace from a friend in Israel, my geode druzy necklace, and the biggest blow, the incredible amber necklace my dad bought me per my request for my birthday 3 years ago. Most of this is not easily replaced. I, fortunately, kept the card of the people who created my geode necklace, found their website, and have re-ordered it. Re-buying the same things...very odd. The Star of David is unfortuate, but I do own one other. The amber necklace though...
I keep scouring the internet, searching for something similar, searching for the same thing, wanting only that necklace. It's always been my favourite of everything that I own. Now it's gone. I keep trying to accept that - this is gone, gone like the pictures on that computer that I never got to back up. (That's unfortunate, given that I had some really cute photos of Suzy and me feeding squirrels at her old apartment.) Why is it so hard to accept that certain things in our lives are just lost and gone forever and that while we may be able to find something similar - or better - to replace them, that particular piece is lost, probably in a pawn show in Baltimore....
I know it's probably foolish, and I certainly wouldn't make a good Buddhist, caring so much about the tangibles and even being so un-zen as to buy my things again...still, I can't let this one go. I'll keep searching for that necklace, keep trying to bring it home to me again. After all, I wasn't prepared to let that stuff go.
Last month I was visiting Allan when someone broke into my car and stole, amoung other things, my and his laptops (we had put them into my trunk while we went to a movie, so they'd be hidden and "safe" in my locked car), his Ipod, my suitcase, my gym bag, and my briefcase. We found the gym bag and briefcase in a nearby garbage can - thank goodness, because my briefcase was filled with confidential work files and HIPPA would've had my head. We later found out that someone wandering through the park had found my suitcase and turned it over to the police. This turned into a two-week long excursion with Allan and I trying to get it back - the evidence locker was closed over the weekend, while I was in town, and they wanted multiple proofs that I was who I claimed to be and that Allan, who was picking it up for me, was who he said he was as well. The "stinkin' teevs" took a few random things from my suitcase - a cloth belt with absolutely no monetary value, my cell phone charger (not the cell phone, which I had with me)...the only thing of value that they took from the suitcase was, unfortunately, my jewelery.
It's not that my jewelery is expensive. I'm sure that all put together, what they got was under $200. The trouble is that it was all my favourite pieces - this gorgeous Star of David necklace from a friend in Israel, my geode druzy necklace, and the biggest blow, the incredible amber necklace my dad bought me per my request for my birthday 3 years ago. Most of this is not easily replaced. I, fortunately, kept the card of the people who created my geode necklace, found their website, and have re-ordered it. Re-buying the same things...very odd. The Star of David is unfortuate, but I do own one other. The amber necklace though...
I keep scouring the internet, searching for something similar, searching for the same thing, wanting only that necklace. It's always been my favourite of everything that I own. Now it's gone. I keep trying to accept that - this is gone, gone like the pictures on that computer that I never got to back up. (That's unfortunate, given that I had some really cute photos of Suzy and me feeding squirrels at her old apartment.) Why is it so hard to accept that certain things in our lives are just lost and gone forever and that while we may be able to find something similar - or better - to replace them, that particular piece is lost, probably in a pawn show in Baltimore....
I know it's probably foolish, and I certainly wouldn't make a good Buddhist, caring so much about the tangibles and even being so un-zen as to buy my things again...still, I can't let this one go. I'll keep searching for that necklace, keep trying to bring it home to me again. After all, I wasn't prepared to let that stuff go.