"I have invented a giant 'laser'"
I was talking to Allan online tonight, telling him how in two weeks, I was going to be having fun with some Valium, when it suddenly occured to me - he had no clue what I was talking about. The reason he had no clue was because I only *thought* I had posted an entry about my upcoming surgery. I hadn't actually written it, though, and thus, no one knows that I'm going to go under the knife, yet again.
Well, actually, this time there is no knife. It's a laser. (Hence the quote...) I have finally decided to get Lasik done on my eyes!
I've been wanting to do this absolutely forever. Anyone who wears glasses or contacts daily will understand what a pain it is. I mean, with glasses, you can never see the entire world clearly at once. The parts in your peripheral vision are always blurred. And if you have contacts, your eyes dry out and you have to remember to take them out before you fall asleep, if you have allergies it's awful, and you're incredibly prone to eye infections.
So I went in for a consultation, found out the costs, found out the dangers and benefits, and promptly signed myself up. On November 1st, I will finally be able to see clearly - forever.
You have no real idea how exciting this is if you don't wear glasses or contacts. For the first time since I was a very, very young child, I will be able to see things. When I wake up, I'll be able to look around my room without fumbling for my glasses. I won't have to torture my eyes by jamming contacts into them when they're tired or I'm sick. When I'm in the shower, I'll be able to see my razor when I drop it, and I'll know right away if I missed a spot while shaving. When I swim, I'll be able to open my eyes underwater AND I'll be able to see. In the middle of the night, when Stephen King has me convinced there's a bogeyman in my closet, I'll be able to peek out from under the covers to make sure it's just the kittens. If I fall asleep at a friend's house, I won't be kicking myself the next day for sleeping with my contacts in. I will never again have to deal with the exquisite pain of putting in a contact lens backwards, and I probably won't get an eye infection every year. In a year and a half, the surgery will be paid off and I won't need to pay the ridiculous, mounting fees for contacts.
This is big news - huge. I know a few friends who have gotten this done - Sam, Lauren - and who are happy with the results. It's a pretty minor procedure. I go in, they give me some Valium. The nurse said that I'll be awake for the surgery (Yikes!) and offered me either Valium or Tylenol PM. I just kind of looked at her and said, "Duh - Valium." I mean, come on - to start with, you ALWAYS take the hard drugs if they're offered, and hellooo - you're going to be doing things to my eyeballs while I'm awake. You want me as heavily sedated as possible. Then they numb my eyes, use a laser to slice off part of my eye (if you can only see objects close up, it's because your eyeballs are too long - as Allan put it, it's the one part of me that's tall!), and send me home to sleep off the rest of the Valium. Piece of cake.
I'm uber-excited. This will be my fifth surgery...that seems like a lot. But I'm really looking forward to this. Like I said, I've been wanting this forever and now, it's actually going to happen!
Well, actually, this time there is no knife. It's a laser. (Hence the quote...) I have finally decided to get Lasik done on my eyes!
I've been wanting to do this absolutely forever. Anyone who wears glasses or contacts daily will understand what a pain it is. I mean, with glasses, you can never see the entire world clearly at once. The parts in your peripheral vision are always blurred. And if you have contacts, your eyes dry out and you have to remember to take them out before you fall asleep, if you have allergies it's awful, and you're incredibly prone to eye infections.
So I went in for a consultation, found out the costs, found out the dangers and benefits, and promptly signed myself up. On November 1st, I will finally be able to see clearly - forever.
You have no real idea how exciting this is if you don't wear glasses or contacts. For the first time since I was a very, very young child, I will be able to see things. When I wake up, I'll be able to look around my room without fumbling for my glasses. I won't have to torture my eyes by jamming contacts into them when they're tired or I'm sick. When I'm in the shower, I'll be able to see my razor when I drop it, and I'll know right away if I missed a spot while shaving. When I swim, I'll be able to open my eyes underwater AND I'll be able to see. In the middle of the night, when Stephen King has me convinced there's a bogeyman in my closet, I'll be able to peek out from under the covers to make sure it's just the kittens. If I fall asleep at a friend's house, I won't be kicking myself the next day for sleeping with my contacts in. I will never again have to deal with the exquisite pain of putting in a contact lens backwards, and I probably won't get an eye infection every year. In a year and a half, the surgery will be paid off and I won't need to pay the ridiculous, mounting fees for contacts.
This is big news - huge. I know a few friends who have gotten this done - Sam, Lauren - and who are happy with the results. It's a pretty minor procedure. I go in, they give me some Valium. The nurse said that I'll be awake for the surgery (Yikes!) and offered me either Valium or Tylenol PM. I just kind of looked at her and said, "Duh - Valium." I mean, come on - to start with, you ALWAYS take the hard drugs if they're offered, and hellooo - you're going to be doing things to my eyeballs while I'm awake. You want me as heavily sedated as possible. Then they numb my eyes, use a laser to slice off part of my eye (if you can only see objects close up, it's because your eyeballs are too long - as Allan put it, it's the one part of me that's tall!), and send me home to sleep off the rest of the Valium. Piece of cake.
I'm uber-excited. This will be my fifth surgery...that seems like a lot. But I'm really looking forward to this. Like I said, I've been wanting this forever and now, it's actually going to happen!