sadness
Why must I always be the one to cry? I truly don't know why things bother me so much, but they do. I hate being stuck at home and being forgotten about. It seems like i'm just not worth the time of day anymore. All i wanted was just a little effort put out for someone to see me, but alas i can't even have that. I know i'm being childish but i can't help it. I'm just feeling kinda of forgotten and non-important enough to miss. I know i ruin his life with every phone call to him i make, but i can't help but call him because i just want to hear his voice, even though it mostly just causes me pain. Sometimes i wonder whether he truly wants to be with me anymore because i'm such a pain. I don't know why he puts up with me. I want to be a better person than this, but i'm not sure that it's possible all i ever do is screw things up and cause people pain and misery. I had my party at work today and it truly felt like they were going to miss me but i'm not sure they will. They'll just miss having someone to do their work for them. Oh well at least it's somewhat of a sorrow. Man, i'm really depressive, course i guess that's the way i feel right now . I guess i'll stop my pity party now and go finish practicing. Then i think i'll cry myself to sleep.alone. Anyways, it twas a great ending to a wonderful day.