Updates
Where to begin.... maybe on a positive note. I guess one silver lining is that I really like my job and the people I work with. I don't feel like I would rather shoot myself in the foot than go to work anymore. Most days anyway. Sucks that we only work every other week though. Last night the owner Rob, Steve the chef and Jay the Bartender from T2 (Tiggos in Chandler) met me at Seamus after they closed T1. We had a couple drinks there then decided to go to T2 at midnight. It was closed obviously, so we just went in and the four of us played pool and poured our own drinks until 3am. Then we stole a couple cases of beer and went back to Jay's. I didn't get to sleep until 8am. It was definitely worth it though, I had a lot of fun. I just can't keep up with those dudes.
So, now on to complaining about how life is so unfair. If you don't want to hear me bitch and moan once again, move along.
I haven't opened a single piece of mail in about 2 months because I'm afraid to look at the numbers. Well I finally opened all that mail, and so far I've added up over $6k in credit card and traffic violation debt alone. I've got creditors calling me 10 times a day and I think that even though I don't have any money to offer them, I should probably stop pressing Ignore and let them know what my financial state is. Maybe they'll work with me a little bit. Hopefully. I'm really not out of control with frivolous spending but I really need to check myself the next time I spend any amount of money on something other than bills, food, or gas. I need to save every penny I can right now.
Love life is.... not ideal. I guess it's not a terrible thing, I'm not necessarily looking to be in a relationship and if it comes down to it, i's not hard to get laid, but sometimes when I'm having a bad day and I think about it, it's just one of those things that's like pouring salt in my open wounds. The one guy that I've actually thought might be good for more than one thing turned out to still have some feelings for his ex, so we gave our "relationship" the axe. I could see the train wreck resulting in that coming from a mile away. Kind of a bummer, but he's a good guy and I can say that I honestly hope they work things out, if that's what makes him happy. We talked on Tuesday and the way he was talking about her and their relationship and how he really enjoyed the short time he spent with me kind of made it seem like he was setting himself up for failure, but it's not surprising. She's only 20. Oh, and apparently she's been following me on Twitter and myspace. I'm so completely indifferent to that fact, it's strange. If someone wants to spend their time reading up on my life, be my guest. Personally I think it's a waste since my life is so terribly uninteresting, but I guess at 20 years old I was doing crap like that too. It's weird how quickly you grow up.
Everytime I think about the subject of my love life I'm reminded of a recent conversation I had with someone I've been off and on and back and forth with for like a year or something. We've always been inexplicably comfortable enough with eachother since day one to have very honest and open conversations. He knows exactly how I feel about him and vice versa. We both have expressed interest in taking our relationship further but due to certain factors, we really can't. So just recently he told me that if it weren't for the fact that I someday plan to move away, he would pursue me despite those other factors. I can't disclose what those factors are but it kind of came as a shock to me that he would risk so much for me. We'd both lose a lot if we decided to be together. Now that conversation is one that's going to stay in the back of my mind and I'm probably just going to avoid doing anything about it until it's forgotten or blows up in my face.
Project Get the Fuck Outta Phoenix gets further from reach with each passing day.
School is still on the backburner. Might have to stay there for yet another semester.
I'm doing this promoting gig at Acme on Tuesdays and now on Fridays at Whip Lounge. It's really not what I want to be doing, but I'm hoping that it's going to give me a lot of networking opportunities for photography. I don't want to pursue photography as my career (especially at this point, because I don't even think I'm that good) but if people want to pay me to take pictures of their events I'm cool with that. Nightlife photography is total BS and not very respectable since any idiot who understands how to use an SLR can do it, but you gotta start somewhere, right? What sucks is there is virtually no pay involved at this point. Apparently I'm going to have a gaurantee for working at Whip, but I still don't know what it is going to be. I'm not counting on much. I'm going to start looking for a third job this week.
I think it's once again time to re-assess my relationships with some people. I seem to surround myself with insincere and deceitful individuals. People who have alterior motives and wouldn't know how to be an honest, selfless human being if their life depended on it. My approach has always been to give everyone the benefit of the doubt because I really hate to pass judgement on anyone I don't know. It's one principle I've always managed to stick to and I take pride in that. It is becoming exhausting, however. I think maybe I'm going to reverse this policy and start treating everyone like a lying sack of shit until I am proven otherwise. If someone truly wants to be my friend or have me in their life in any other way, they'll understand. Otherwise... well if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
I'm such a damn pessimist.
I'm really hungry. I should probably go to sleep, I've got a lot to do tomorrow.
This is going to stay public simply for the fact that I don't have enough energy to spare thinking about who might read this and how they're going to react. I also really don't care. Goodnight! :)
So, now on to complaining about how life is so unfair. If you don't want to hear me bitch and moan once again, move along.
I haven't opened a single piece of mail in about 2 months because I'm afraid to look at the numbers. Well I finally opened all that mail, and so far I've added up over $6k in credit card and traffic violation debt alone. I've got creditors calling me 10 times a day and I think that even though I don't have any money to offer them, I should probably stop pressing Ignore and let them know what my financial state is. Maybe they'll work with me a little bit. Hopefully. I'm really not out of control with frivolous spending but I really need to check myself the next time I spend any amount of money on something other than bills, food, or gas. I need to save every penny I can right now.
Love life is.... not ideal. I guess it's not a terrible thing, I'm not necessarily looking to be in a relationship and if it comes down to it, i's not hard to get laid, but sometimes when I'm having a bad day and I think about it, it's just one of those things that's like pouring salt in my open wounds. The one guy that I've actually thought might be good for more than one thing turned out to still have some feelings for his ex, so we gave our "relationship" the axe. I could see the train wreck resulting in that coming from a mile away. Kind of a bummer, but he's a good guy and I can say that I honestly hope they work things out, if that's what makes him happy. We talked on Tuesday and the way he was talking about her and their relationship and how he really enjoyed the short time he spent with me kind of made it seem like he was setting himself up for failure, but it's not surprising. She's only 20. Oh, and apparently she's been following me on Twitter and myspace. I'm so completely indifferent to that fact, it's strange. If someone wants to spend their time reading up on my life, be my guest. Personally I think it's a waste since my life is so terribly uninteresting, but I guess at 20 years old I was doing crap like that too. It's weird how quickly you grow up.
Everytime I think about the subject of my love life I'm reminded of a recent conversation I had with someone I've been off and on and back and forth with for like a year or something. We've always been inexplicably comfortable enough with eachother since day one to have very honest and open conversations. He knows exactly how I feel about him and vice versa. We both have expressed interest in taking our relationship further but due to certain factors, we really can't. So just recently he told me that if it weren't for the fact that I someday plan to move away, he would pursue me despite those other factors. I can't disclose what those factors are but it kind of came as a shock to me that he would risk so much for me. We'd both lose a lot if we decided to be together. Now that conversation is one that's going to stay in the back of my mind and I'm probably just going to avoid doing anything about it until it's forgotten or blows up in my face.
Project Get the Fuck Outta Phoenix gets further from reach with each passing day.
School is still on the backburner. Might have to stay there for yet another semester.
I'm doing this promoting gig at Acme on Tuesdays and now on Fridays at Whip Lounge. It's really not what I want to be doing, but I'm hoping that it's going to give me a lot of networking opportunities for photography. I don't want to pursue photography as my career (especially at this point, because I don't even think I'm that good) but if people want to pay me to take pictures of their events I'm cool with that. Nightlife photography is total BS and not very respectable since any idiot who understands how to use an SLR can do it, but you gotta start somewhere, right? What sucks is there is virtually no pay involved at this point. Apparently I'm going to have a gaurantee for working at Whip, but I still don't know what it is going to be. I'm not counting on much. I'm going to start looking for a third job this week.
I think it's once again time to re-assess my relationships with some people. I seem to surround myself with insincere and deceitful individuals. People who have alterior motives and wouldn't know how to be an honest, selfless human being if their life depended on it. My approach has always been to give everyone the benefit of the doubt because I really hate to pass judgement on anyone I don't know. It's one principle I've always managed to stick to and I take pride in that. It is becoming exhausting, however. I think maybe I'm going to reverse this policy and start treating everyone like a lying sack of shit until I am proven otherwise. If someone truly wants to be my friend or have me in their life in any other way, they'll understand. Otherwise... well if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
I'm such a damn pessimist.
I'm really hungry. I should probably go to sleep, I've got a lot to do tomorrow.
This is going to stay public simply for the fact that I don't have enough energy to spare thinking about who might read this and how they're going to react. I also really don't care. Goodnight! :)