one more....
I gave up my VIP pass to Coachella. I just don't want to do all the footwork for it then realize at the last minute I don't have the money to go. This is probably the most upsetting of all the shit that's going wrong with my life right now. I was so looking forward to it. Since I got laid off it's just not an option for me, realistically. Even if I get a job next week. I just have way too much debt and it's growing rapidly. I need to get my priorities in order and unfortunately Coachella (or anything that costs me money) isn't that high up there.
I saw my grandmother on Wednesday and she just looked like she had aged ten years over night. She's progressed (or regressed?) from her walker to a wheelchair. A TINY bit of good news I received today, is that her decline isn't rapid. So, there's no reason to panic yet. She is however on a decline that she won't be recovering from. We're hoping to get her some hospice care. My aunt told her what was going on and it was really hard on her. She's really afraid to die and just can't come to terms with it. Death is still a strange concept for me. It's hard for me to grasp the idea of someone being 'dead'. There may be people I know that I will never see again and I can be perfectly okay with that knowing that they're still walking this earth, or even NOT knowing. I can't describe the feeling and what a difference that makes. There's really no way to describe it to someone who's never lost someone they love. When Ryan died it didn't really hit me until they began to lower him into the grave. It was at the moment I really realized I had lost my best friend, and I would never again be able to drive an hour and a half on a complete whim, sometimes in the middle of the night, to shoot pool and sing Kissing You to eachother while laying underneath the stars all night.
Holy crap why do I do this to myself? Haha. Argh.....
Anyway, wow, I just went off on this crazy, depressing tangent. I'm sorry...
Tonight I'm going to chill at home, rest my knee, and play Wii all night.
I saw my grandmother on Wednesday and she just looked like she had aged ten years over night. She's progressed (or regressed?) from her walker to a wheelchair. A TINY bit of good news I received today, is that her decline isn't rapid. So, there's no reason to panic yet. She is however on a decline that she won't be recovering from. We're hoping to get her some hospice care. My aunt told her what was going on and it was really hard on her. She's really afraid to die and just can't come to terms with it. Death is still a strange concept for me. It's hard for me to grasp the idea of someone being 'dead'. There may be people I know that I will never see again and I can be perfectly okay with that knowing that they're still walking this earth, or even NOT knowing. I can't describe the feeling and what a difference that makes. There's really no way to describe it to someone who's never lost someone they love. When Ryan died it didn't really hit me until they began to lower him into the grave. It was at the moment I really realized I had lost my best friend, and I would never again be able to drive an hour and a half on a complete whim, sometimes in the middle of the night, to shoot pool and sing Kissing You to eachother while laying underneath the stars all night.
Holy crap why do I do this to myself? Haha. Argh.....
Anyway, wow, I just went off on this crazy, depressing tangent. I'm sorry...
Tonight I'm going to chill at home, rest my knee, and play Wii all night.