Comments | first_spike: All the Small Things (part 9)

first_spike

All the Small Things (part 9)

Aug 21, 2006 09:22

Friday breakfast

“This is great. Best breakfast I've had in ages.” Doug's words barely made it around the last mouth-stretching piece of his bacon, cheese and mushroom butty. He chewed, swallowed, raised his mug and saluted the others with a five-second belch.
( read Part 9: Friday breakfast )

atst, fiction

Comments 10

oh_mumble August 21 2006, 11:27:15 UTC

Oh! ::hands::

I keep thinking that I should have figured this out by now, and it's almost there in my head, but then I'm not sure, and I get distracted by the fact that you're killing me here. Oh, wee Dougie.

thisxsimplicity August 21 2006, 17:22:57 UTC

Its slowly coming to me. I hope I'm on the right track here. The suspence(sp?) is killing me!

first_spike August 21 2006, 20:32:56 UTC

I hope I'm not giving too much away by saying there's probably enough in the existing installments to work out what's going on with Doug (give or take the odd wrinkle).
Then again, we're not even 24 hours into story-time, and the weekend is looming ahead.
Uh-oh. I think I hear the Suspense Police knocking at my door... :/

kamily_emilla August 21 2006, 19:36:09 UTC

I'm so cuaght up in the story here, ist so good. I love how mothery Tom is, normally that bugs me but he's perfect int his.

My only criticism is that sometimes I dont think you describe things full enough, which leaves me confused. Its nothing major I just thought I'd point that out, as it's hard to tell when you are proof reading.

Still adore it though!

first_spike August 21 2006, 20:19:30 UTC

Fair point. I tend to be quite a brutal (self-)editor, so there's a high chance of 'collateral damage'. Like the words cereal (boxes) and toilet (bowl) seem to have gone missing in action from this installment. And I've consciously left out descriptions of the house and of the boys themselves, quite possibly too much.
I'll have another trawl through the remaining stuff with that in mind. If you want to point something out, I'd appreciate it. Thanks :)

smallandpretty August 21 2006, 20:25:54 UTC

I just read the first 9 chapters today...wow!

Love for the mothering of Tom, and uber cute Doogle...

I think I know what's going on... but not totally sure...

Update soon!!!!!

smithee06 August 21 2006, 22:16:35 UTC

I've just caught up with the last two parts.

O_O WOW.

I think I might have an idea of what's going on, but I'm still not completely sure.

I just want to cuddle Dougie in this. He just seems so helpless. =[

I think I might marry this fic. <3