A series of letters.
Dear Columbus,
Hi! YOU ARE IN OHIO. PLEASE BUY A SNOWPLOW. When I cannot change lanes on a major highway due to the mountains of snow still on the road, and I've seen over 12 cars in ditches who did try to change lanes in the last 20 minutes, and this is not an exaggeration - something is wrong. I have never driven 40 on a highway before. Ever.
YOU FAIL AT WINTER.
No love,
Sev.
CC: Pickerington
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Dear IT company at work,
I do not like coming in to work, finding the power supply on my computer dead, and having to call you, mainly because you are made of idiots with a topping of stupid sauce. One hour later you called me back to inform me you'd opened a "ticket". I am glad I made the executive decision to just ring up the old computer guy because he made some calls and found a spare desktop I could snag a power supply from. Four hours later you notified me that you were "assigning the ticket" to the old computer guy - who had already solved my problem. Glad we got you involved, crappy IT company!
YOU FAIL AT LIFE.
No love,
Sev
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Dear Rydia,
I am sorry I had to put you in the box this morning and take you to the scary people. I am taking your claws out because you made that hole in Mummy's couch, and I do not want you to be pointy anymore. You should not have done that. I promise I will feed you when you get home since I couldn't give you food last night. Please forgive your Mummy.
Love,
Sev
Hi! YOU ARE IN OHIO. PLEASE BUY A SNOWPLOW. When I cannot change lanes on a major highway due to the mountains of snow still on the road, and I've seen over 12 cars in ditches who did try to change lanes in the last 20 minutes, and this is not an exaggeration - something is wrong. I have never driven 40 on a highway before. Ever.
YOU FAIL AT WINTER.
No love,
Sev.
CC: Pickerington
---
Dear IT company at work,
I do not like coming in to work, finding the power supply on my computer dead, and having to call you, mainly because you are made of idiots with a topping of stupid sauce. One hour later you called me back to inform me you'd opened a "ticket". I am glad I made the executive decision to just ring up the old computer guy because he made some calls and found a spare desktop I could snag a power supply from. Four hours later you notified me that you were "assigning the ticket" to the old computer guy - who had already solved my problem. Glad we got you involved, crappy IT company!
YOU FAIL AT LIFE.
No love,
Sev
---
Dear Rydia,
I am sorry I had to put you in the box this morning and take you to the scary people. I am taking your claws out because you made that hole in Mummy's couch, and I do not want you to be pointy anymore. You should not have done that. I promise I will feed you when you get home since I couldn't give you food last night. Please forgive your Mummy.
Love,
Sev