cat on feet; thoughts in head.
!markdown
I am here to write an entry about much-less-important things, but I can't open it without dedicating a few words and a space of silence to the victims from yesterday. I am wishing them peace. I am wishing *you* peace.
- - -
So I started here wanting to write about clothes / fashion / appearance, which seems like such a frivolous post opened with such a somber thought, but hey, I am a *complex individual* and I came here with thoughts in my brain that are going down no matter what.
Any discussion on clothing, fashion, appearance, etc. lives on the edges of a bunch of critical serious issues, too -- appearance, gender, body image, marketing, consumerism, health, so on -- and I have many words to give on those, but for right now, this is not that post.
I'll mark, as an initial thought and disclaimer, that *I want to look good.* Many people don't care about how they dress, and that rocks, carry on; I have many days where sweats with a tee are the uniform of the day and my main concerns fall into the category of "are there holes?", "is there too much cat hair?", and "do i need a bra" (answers: whatever, always, and never). So I guess it's more that I *want to be able to look good* when I am in the mood.
This may sound obvious, but: I've spent a lot of my life without many of the tools geared towards developing a style for yourself. First, growing up without an excess of money: my mother and I made a lot of my clothes, all the way up through senior year of high school; in middle school I had a single pair of jeans (at least until I started bringing in my own money). I didn't have any guidance on how to make my hair look like normal person hair - and I don't even mean magazine hair; I mean hair that looked like the other girls in my school. I got plenty made fun of ("what time do you wake up in the morning? what time does your bus come?") which of course everybody did but what really sticks with me is that no one told me goddamn straighteners existed until I got out of fucking college. When you're working with hand-me-downs, worn-out pieces, a lack of funds, and no good foundation, it's incredibly hard to feel good in things, even things you might objectively like. I wanted to look *the way I wanted to look* and didn't even know how to get there.
LOL, YOUTH, AMIRITE? But I got to knock down some of that as a reasonably successful adult with some discretionary income. I retaliated by giving myself *all the choices.* Find a shirt I like that's on sale? Buy it in two colors. Find t-shirts on sale that work under a button-down? Collect 5 for the week. At least 5. Found out I like wearing tank tops on weekends? Own 20 of them. My goal was to have a closet full of *pieces and parts* that I could put together however I felt like that day, so that no matter what I wanted to look like, I could wear it. Obviously this isn't a great strategy for building yourself a style but at the time it was progress. I lacked tools & options; now I had them.
As a more successful adult, with more discretionary income, I've found myself hitting the walls on that particular method. Especially moving into management: I found there were some things I wanted to project with image, and started experimenting with ways to get there. My position in industry comes with its own interesting set of challenges too, which is really meant to be the core of this post: I think ladies in technical fields who would still like to put effort into appearance have it especially hard.
First being that I'm an engineer who's operations manager of a hazardous-classified chemical facility. There are codes for clothing in labs and process areas - well, obviously, FR clothing is required in all areas, but we have jackets and lab coats; hard hats and safety glasses are obviously *high fashion*, and I've learnt to keep a pair of steel-toes in my office for days I really just wanted to wear nice fucking boots - but lots of things are on the "no" list for my site: skirts, dresses, open toed shoes, shoes with no backs, heels, extensively long or drapey jewelry or accessories, and so on. I've actually come to really like skirts and dresses, and I think that my fondness came from the fact that I am forbidden from wearing them professionally.
Even without that list of prohibited items, one still has a lot to work from. But then comes in the randomizer: industrial sites are *dirty.* They can *wreck* clothing. As such, it's hard to justify spending good money on good clothing -- above and beyond the usual justification of "do I really want to pay $80 for that pair of fucking pants", clothes get expensive fast -- because you never know what day you're gonna end up crawling underneath a 3000-gal blend tank to investigate an oil leak. This is a true story and is why I stopped wearing khakis. Another day, when I ended up climbing up scaffolding to go over a series of painted flange faces with a pipefitter, was when I ripped my pants and had to go home. We're done here.
So even without dealing with *personal style* there's a lot to balance here. A management role in an organization usually comes with at least "business casual" dress code, if not more, and in fact you do end up in a surprising number of meetings you don't really want your knee hanging out of your jeans for. This also happens to be a true story. At the same time you're expected out on the floor in a number of ways and no one wants to be replacing a pair of pants a week -- or trying to negotiate scaffolding in a pantsuit under a lab coat, that's just stupid and uncomfortable. That one has not happened to me. Yet.
But I think the first step of style for ladies in technical fields is defining the dimensions of the space you have to play in. Those are mine, fundamentally. Set your first couple rules there.
From there and from what many style guides say, the next part is defining your own personal style. I've seen it recommended that one picks a phrase which is then used as guidance: "Would _______ wear this?" Fill in the blank with anything from "Thomas Edison" to "a gay hippie" to "a badass" as suits your needs, and you have a starting point. I've sort-of approached it differently because I haven't yet come up with a phrase that fits all of my needs, but I have come up with two phrases: one for what I want to project, and one that happens to fit things that I like. Unfortunately the latter, the best descriptor of things I see and just go OOOOOO \*grabby hands\* at, happens to be "hobo grandmother". I didn't say it was flattering.
The thing that I realized is that I like to project as *aggressively female.* It's very important to me to give subtle reminders to people that they're working with a **lady** in this position - there are so few ladies in management in technical industries, and I feel like I need to represent extra hard for those who are coming behind me. I don't want to be "one of the guys" - I want people to remember that they're meeting with a lady, taking direction from a lady, arguing with a lady. I throw accessories around like it's my job because necklaces and scarves help that. I have *excellent* taste in shoes. There are no efforts to hide this form - I dress my curves. I want people to get used to having powerful ladies around the site. I want more powerful ladies behind me. Style is a subtle weapon I can use, and I do.
The other thing that I like in my style is a bit of ... I'm going to call it "edge". (I fucking hate "alternative" as a scene, as a descriptor, whatever, not because I hate anyone who looks that way but because judging people by appearances seems such a pretentious way to say someone is "okay." "Oooh, they've got a tattoo, they must be a cool badass." Nope, there are lots of assholes with tattoos too. Try again. "Ooooh, there's color in their hair, they must be..." I've met enough assholes - and had enough friends who seem to fall prey to this mindset - that it hits a bit of a sore spot with me.) What I'm trying to get at, in my judgy way, is that I like mixing things that aren't considered "professional" in with my look so that, again, people might think twice about whether or not they are in fact professional. Examples here are simple things: I wear seven earrings; I have a small diamond stud in my nose; I have an undercut. I've worn 'hooker boots' to work because I fucking like them. I play with hair color, including a brief stint last year near the holidays when I did streaks of bright red. I do keep it subtle, but that has less to do with tact and more to do with *I am fucking lazy*, so you can subtract street cred points as you want.
This entry was briefly interrupted by Marzy knocking the tub of treats over onto t he floor and attempting to stuff them all into his tiny mouth before I could get there. Right.
I think it's critical, when you're trying to develop a style, to pinpoint things like this that can help become key to getting a closet full of things you actively like. I don't want to project anything else with my appearance: I don't want people to know whether I'm gay or straight, cool or uncool, liberal or conservative, whatever, based on something that I'm wearing - but others might. I do want them to see that I'm a lady, I'm powerful, and I'm a bit edgy. That's what I have to work with.
fuck there go the treats *again*
Having the starting point helps me be more selective when buying clothes. I'm starting to collect a set of questions that will ideally help me not end up buying 5 simple tshirts that were on sale and then wondering why I don't have anything I feel like wearing to work, right? Questions like
1. Is this for work, for personal wear, or both?
2. If work, does it meet code?
3. If work, can I see myself wearing it to a meeting with the CEO?
4. If work, will I cry deeply if I tear it on a valve handle, or if I ruin it wading through mud to get to the north tank farm?
And so on. I'm still working on the list, obviously.
So there's a second post of thoughts that goes along with this, and I'm not gonna expect anyone to come chat clothes with me, but I feel a good lack of "fashion" advice for ladies in dirty jobs which is where these thoughts are eventually going to go. Now excuse me, I have a cat I need to turn into a good pair of slippers.
This entry was originally posted at http://seventhe.dreamwidth.org/379814.html, which has
comments. Comment there (with OpenID) or here, it's all good.
I am here to write an entry about much-less-important things, but I can't open it without dedicating a few words and a space of silence to the victims from yesterday. I am wishing them peace. I am wishing *you* peace.
- - -
So I started here wanting to write about clothes / fashion / appearance, which seems like such a frivolous post opened with such a somber thought, but hey, I am a *complex individual* and I came here with thoughts in my brain that are going down no matter what.
Any discussion on clothing, fashion, appearance, etc. lives on the edges of a bunch of critical serious issues, too -- appearance, gender, body image, marketing, consumerism, health, so on -- and I have many words to give on those, but for right now, this is not that post.
I'll mark, as an initial thought and disclaimer, that *I want to look good.* Many people don't care about how they dress, and that rocks, carry on; I have many days where sweats with a tee are the uniform of the day and my main concerns fall into the category of "are there holes?", "is there too much cat hair?", and "do i need a bra" (answers: whatever, always, and never). So I guess it's more that I *want to be able to look good* when I am in the mood.
This may sound obvious, but: I've spent a lot of my life without many of the tools geared towards developing a style for yourself. First, growing up without an excess of money: my mother and I made a lot of my clothes, all the way up through senior year of high school; in middle school I had a single pair of jeans (at least until I started bringing in my own money). I didn't have any guidance on how to make my hair look like normal person hair - and I don't even mean magazine hair; I mean hair that looked like the other girls in my school. I got plenty made fun of ("what time do you wake up in the morning? what time does your bus come?") which of course everybody did but what really sticks with me is that no one told me goddamn straighteners existed until I got out of fucking college. When you're working with hand-me-downs, worn-out pieces, a lack of funds, and no good foundation, it's incredibly hard to feel good in things, even things you might objectively like. I wanted to look *the way I wanted to look* and didn't even know how to get there.
LOL, YOUTH, AMIRITE? But I got to knock down some of that as a reasonably successful adult with some discretionary income. I retaliated by giving myself *all the choices.* Find a shirt I like that's on sale? Buy it in two colors. Find t-shirts on sale that work under a button-down? Collect 5 for the week. At least 5. Found out I like wearing tank tops on weekends? Own 20 of them. My goal was to have a closet full of *pieces and parts* that I could put together however I felt like that day, so that no matter what I wanted to look like, I could wear it. Obviously this isn't a great strategy for building yourself a style but at the time it was progress. I lacked tools & options; now I had them.
As a more successful adult, with more discretionary income, I've found myself hitting the walls on that particular method. Especially moving into management: I found there were some things I wanted to project with image, and started experimenting with ways to get there. My position in industry comes with its own interesting set of challenges too, which is really meant to be the core of this post: I think ladies in technical fields who would still like to put effort into appearance have it especially hard.
First being that I'm an engineer who's operations manager of a hazardous-classified chemical facility. There are codes for clothing in labs and process areas - well, obviously, FR clothing is required in all areas, but we have jackets and lab coats; hard hats and safety glasses are obviously *high fashion*, and I've learnt to keep a pair of steel-toes in my office for days I really just wanted to wear nice fucking boots - but lots of things are on the "no" list for my site: skirts, dresses, open toed shoes, shoes with no backs, heels, extensively long or drapey jewelry or accessories, and so on. I've actually come to really like skirts and dresses, and I think that my fondness came from the fact that I am forbidden from wearing them professionally.
Even without that list of prohibited items, one still has a lot to work from. But then comes in the randomizer: industrial sites are *dirty.* They can *wreck* clothing. As such, it's hard to justify spending good money on good clothing -- above and beyond the usual justification of "do I really want to pay $80 for that pair of fucking pants", clothes get expensive fast -- because you never know what day you're gonna end up crawling underneath a 3000-gal blend tank to investigate an oil leak. This is a true story and is why I stopped wearing khakis. Another day, when I ended up climbing up scaffolding to go over a series of painted flange faces with a pipefitter, was when I ripped my pants and had to go home. We're done here.
So even without dealing with *personal style* there's a lot to balance here. A management role in an organization usually comes with at least "business casual" dress code, if not more, and in fact you do end up in a surprising number of meetings you don't really want your knee hanging out of your jeans for. This also happens to be a true story. At the same time you're expected out on the floor in a number of ways and no one wants to be replacing a pair of pants a week -- or trying to negotiate scaffolding in a pantsuit under a lab coat, that's just stupid and uncomfortable. That one has not happened to me. Yet.
But I think the first step of style for ladies in technical fields is defining the dimensions of the space you have to play in. Those are mine, fundamentally. Set your first couple rules there.
From there and from what many style guides say, the next part is defining your own personal style. I've seen it recommended that one picks a phrase which is then used as guidance: "Would _______ wear this?" Fill in the blank with anything from "Thomas Edison" to "a gay hippie" to "a badass" as suits your needs, and you have a starting point. I've sort-of approached it differently because I haven't yet come up with a phrase that fits all of my needs, but I have come up with two phrases: one for what I want to project, and one that happens to fit things that I like. Unfortunately the latter, the best descriptor of things I see and just go OOOOOO \*grabby hands\* at, happens to be "hobo grandmother". I didn't say it was flattering.
The thing that I realized is that I like to project as *aggressively female.* It's very important to me to give subtle reminders to people that they're working with a **lady** in this position - there are so few ladies in management in technical industries, and I feel like I need to represent extra hard for those who are coming behind me. I don't want to be "one of the guys" - I want people to remember that they're meeting with a lady, taking direction from a lady, arguing with a lady. I throw accessories around like it's my job because necklaces and scarves help that. I have *excellent* taste in shoes. There are no efforts to hide this form - I dress my curves. I want people to get used to having powerful ladies around the site. I want more powerful ladies behind me. Style is a subtle weapon I can use, and I do.
The other thing that I like in my style is a bit of ... I'm going to call it "edge". (I fucking hate "alternative" as a scene, as a descriptor, whatever, not because I hate anyone who looks that way but because judging people by appearances seems such a pretentious way to say someone is "okay." "Oooh, they've got a tattoo, they must be a cool badass." Nope, there are lots of assholes with tattoos too. Try again. "Ooooh, there's color in their hair, they must be..." I've met enough assholes - and had enough friends who seem to fall prey to this mindset - that it hits a bit of a sore spot with me.) What I'm trying to get at, in my judgy way, is that I like mixing things that aren't considered "professional" in with my look so that, again, people might think twice about whether or not they are in fact professional. Examples here are simple things: I wear seven earrings; I have a small diamond stud in my nose; I have an undercut. I've worn 'hooker boots' to work because I fucking like them. I play with hair color, including a brief stint last year near the holidays when I did streaks of bright red. I do keep it subtle, but that has less to do with tact and more to do with *I am fucking lazy*, so you can subtract street cred points as you want.
This entry was briefly interrupted by Marzy knocking the tub of treats over onto t he floor and attempting to stuff them all into his tiny mouth before I could get there. Right.
I think it's critical, when you're trying to develop a style, to pinpoint things like this that can help become key to getting a closet full of things you actively like. I don't want to project anything else with my appearance: I don't want people to know whether I'm gay or straight, cool or uncool, liberal or conservative, whatever, based on something that I'm wearing - but others might. I do want them to see that I'm a lady, I'm powerful, and I'm a bit edgy. That's what I have to work with.
fuck there go the treats *again*
Having the starting point helps me be more selective when buying clothes. I'm starting to collect a set of questions that will ideally help me not end up buying 5 simple tshirts that were on sale and then wondering why I don't have anything I feel like wearing to work, right? Questions like
1. Is this for work, for personal wear, or both?
2. If work, does it meet code?
3. If work, can I see myself wearing it to a meeting with the CEO?
4. If work, will I cry deeply if I tear it on a valve handle, or if I ruin it wading through mud to get to the north tank farm?
And so on. I'm still working on the list, obviously.
So there's a second post of thoughts that goes along with this, and I'm not gonna expect anyone to come chat clothes with me, but I feel a good lack of "fashion" advice for ladies in dirty jobs which is where these thoughts are eventually going to go. Now excuse me, I have a cat I need to turn into a good pair of slippers.
This entry was originally posted at http://seventhe.dreamwidth.org/379814.html, which has
comments. Comment there (with OpenID) or here, it's all good.