[30Days]: If Sev Ruled the World
A Day In Sevland: What The World Would Be Like If Sev Were Queen
Here’s what the world would be like if I were queen: kittens. Everywhere. Kittens would basically never grow up to be cats, or if they did, the cats would be cuter. And there wouldn’t any such thing as a cat allergy, so everybody would basically love all the cats. People who didn’t love kittens could have corgis. Basically, my world will be a giant humane society.
Here’s what else there would be: BEER. Like, a fuckton of beer. There would be beer everywhere. You’d pay for your house to be hooked up to the Yuengling line, kind of like the internet, and then there’d just be a tap in your house with beer. Everywhere. People who don’t like beer? You can subscribe to the Vodkaline.
There would be a similar thing, but with coffee.
Douchebaggery would be a federal offense, and I - since I am queen - would get to vet all of the people who determine whether or not someone falls into the category of douchebaggery or one of its many subsets (example: asshattery). Your punishment for being a douche would be scooping the giant litterboxes of my kitten-infested world. Nothing capital, but enough to make you think twice before you’re mean to somebody.
There will be a Sheetz on every corner. They will play only Pitbull, Boulevard of the Allies, or the Ceiling Cake song.
I will create a giant federal grant for the writing of all kinds of fanfiction (and the drawing of fanarts!). Applicants will send me their best porn, and if you pass, you can earn up to a year’s worth of sabbatical on Fandom Island, where you will do nothing but play games and write (porn) about them all day long, except for the hours you are petting kittens.
Everyone will know how to sing and the world will randomly break out in four-part harmony.
Freshly-baked bread will be the backbone of my nation. Somehow it will supply everyone with your vitamins and minerals and proteins and fats and carbs in the correct balance, and it will taste like fresh French baguettes. You may have jam if you would like. Sev is a benevolent queen.
It will be not only okay, but encouraged, for each house or apartment to have a small alcove off of it devoted entirely to shoes. (And boots!)
Instead of war, SevLand will spend money making the rest of the world love the fuck out of us. We will finance growth and development and Blackberries and Sheetz and love for all in nations that need it. Everyone in SevLand who wants to will be able to spend a year, fully subsidized, doing community service either in or outside SevLand. This way nobody will ever want to bomb us. I think it’s a good national security strategy. I am queen, you know.
Obviously nobody’s going to want to bomb kittens.
Tons of money is going to go into the scientific community, because they’re the ones who are going to make us beer taps and delicious bread and cure cancer. There will be lots of scientific jobs and universities will actually make fucking sense. There won’t be any politicians because I am queen for life. Anyone who wants to enter politics can make a “donation” to this fund and spend the rest of their life on Politics Island, the place Fandom Island goes in cosplay / furry suits to fuck with.
Shemar Moore will be my sexytimes partner. (What! WHAT.)
There will be books everywhere. And everyone can write them! And read them. If you don’t know how to read by the age of 5 you can come to my spacious shoe-kitten-beer-brothel-brewery palace, and I - or one of my friends - will personally teach you to read.
TV won't have any ads. All of the shows will kick ass and pass the Bechdel Test.
Yup.
It would be awesome.
This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ
This entry was originally posted at http://seventhe.dreamwidth.org/35831.html, which has
comments. Comment there (with OpenID) or here, it's all good.
Here’s what the world would be like if I were queen: kittens. Everywhere. Kittens would basically never grow up to be cats, or if they did, the cats would be cuter. And there wouldn’t any such thing as a cat allergy, so everybody would basically love all the cats. People who didn’t love kittens could have corgis. Basically, my world will be a giant humane society.
Here’s what else there would be: BEER. Like, a fuckton of beer. There would be beer everywhere. You’d pay for your house to be hooked up to the Yuengling line, kind of like the internet, and then there’d just be a tap in your house with beer. Everywhere. People who don’t like beer? You can subscribe to the Vodkaline.
There would be a similar thing, but with coffee.
Douchebaggery would be a federal offense, and I - since I am queen - would get to vet all of the people who determine whether or not someone falls into the category of douchebaggery or one of its many subsets (example: asshattery). Your punishment for being a douche would be scooping the giant litterboxes of my kitten-infested world. Nothing capital, but enough to make you think twice before you’re mean to somebody.
There will be a Sheetz on every corner. They will play only Pitbull, Boulevard of the Allies, or the Ceiling Cake song.
I will create a giant federal grant for the writing of all kinds of fanfiction (and the drawing of fanarts!). Applicants will send me their best porn, and if you pass, you can earn up to a year’s worth of sabbatical on Fandom Island, where you will do nothing but play games and write (porn) about them all day long, except for the hours you are petting kittens.
Everyone will know how to sing and the world will randomly break out in four-part harmony.
Freshly-baked bread will be the backbone of my nation. Somehow it will supply everyone with your vitamins and minerals and proteins and fats and carbs in the correct balance, and it will taste like fresh French baguettes. You may have jam if you would like. Sev is a benevolent queen.
It will be not only okay, but encouraged, for each house or apartment to have a small alcove off of it devoted entirely to shoes. (And boots!)
Instead of war, SevLand will spend money making the rest of the world love the fuck out of us. We will finance growth and development and Blackberries and Sheetz and love for all in nations that need it. Everyone in SevLand who wants to will be able to spend a year, fully subsidized, doing community service either in or outside SevLand. This way nobody will ever want to bomb us. I think it’s a good national security strategy. I am queen, you know.
Obviously nobody’s going to want to bomb kittens.
Tons of money is going to go into the scientific community, because they’re the ones who are going to make us beer taps and delicious bread and cure cancer. There will be lots of scientific jobs and universities will actually make fucking sense. There won’t be any politicians because I am queen for life. Anyone who wants to enter politics can make a “donation” to this fund and spend the rest of their life on Politics Island, the place Fandom Island goes in cosplay / furry suits to fuck with.
Shemar Moore will be my sexytimes partner. (What! WHAT.)
There will be books everywhere. And everyone can write them! And read them. If you don’t know how to read by the age of 5 you can come to my spacious shoe-kitten-beer-brothel-brewery palace, and I - or one of my friends - will personally teach you to read.
TV won't have any ads. All of the shows will kick ass and pass the Bechdel Test.
Yup.
It would be awesome.
This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ
This entry was originally posted at http://seventhe.dreamwidth.org/35831.html, which has
comments. Comment there (with OpenID) or here, it's all good.