(Untitled)

[first_seventhe]

Oh Verizon, why you gotta mess with me?

Comments

[drakonlily]

Dear Sev

Thank you for choosing Verizon Wireless as your cellular provider. We work hard to maintain your patronage. In accord with this, we want to direct you to the contract where it says we own your sorry ass or you pay us a boatload of money. Because of this, we really don't give three shits if we fuck with you. See, you'll forget about this transgression before your contract is up. By that time we'll have like, a shiny new toy for you and you'll stay with us, you dirty whore.

~Verizon

[first_seventhe]

Dear Verizon,

I like when you talk dirty to me. Give it to me harder, baby.

Waiting,
Sev

[drakonlily]

Dear Sev

We know you're a naughty girl who likes it when we spank you. This is why we dick with you. If you think this is bad, wait till you see your bill

~Verizon.

[tijuana_pirate]

Wow, I feel like such a peeping Tom for reading through these comments. I have to go say some hail marys or something... <.< >.>

-T. pirate

[irish_ais]

Because Verizon is basically a giant cock riding an even bigger cock.

I think it's actually worse than Comcast. And Comcast sucks pretty hardcore.

[aesriella]

Thank you for that incredibly disturbing mental image.

[irish_ais]

You're quite welcome. It's what I do. :3