The McList Lanzarote 2007
TAXI 9th Aug
1. Lorna's hangover
2. Jo and Graeme's constant chatting
3. The beginning of Jo's new-found ADHD
AIRPORT
4. Fear of luggage charges
5. Paranoia of no 'rents
LANZAROTE (PLANE)
6. McShitty landing
7. Coupa Sup
8. Random noises
9. Rachel's static hair
10. Random woman laughing
11. The MASSIVE food list by Emma, Rachel and Lorna
12. Lack of a bloody movie
13. Long trek to the hotel because of the fiesta
14. Too many references to terrorists, bombs, "boom" etc
LANZAROTE DAY ONE FRIDAY
15. "Let's fart in the pool to make bubbles!" Jo to Lauren
16. "Let's not drink tonight" at least someone said every night
17. That steep ramp with the wheeled suitcases
18. "Coke" "Coke" "Coke, please" ...... "SANGRIA!"
19. The bed collapsing
20. Jo = sleep, Aly = barging in singing the Hippy Song
21. Lauren's discover of the Coyote Ugly-esque bar, CESAR'S!
22. Drunken beach walk
23. Lobster Man and The Jobbies
24. Aly's T-shirt sunburn
25. The Lilo Wars
26. Gina's drunkenness and excessive need to be walked home, "I'm such a disgrace!"
27. The beginning of the love of Bree, who works at Cesar's
28. CRAZY and COKE! (raspberry vodka and coke) as created by Mister Alymaster Beattie
SATURDAY'S MADNESS
29. Everyone's hangover
30. Aly gets told off by random Spanish man
31. Rob's mating dance in Cesar's
32. Cesar's beez
33. Obsession of the Irish by Jo
34. Dancing madness
35. Rob's pal's crappy dancing with Lorna (resembled a puppet from Thunderbirds)
36. Aly's constant flirting
37. The burning incidents (Aly's body, Jo's finger/nose, Lorna's thumb/wrist)
38. Graeme's amazing dancing
39. The Dutch casualties (looking after people so drunk they aren't conscious) ("I know the way, I'm not that drunk!") ("He's dying!") + random Irish guy called Brian who we thought was French
40. Jo's bad influence on people smoking, few resisted
41. Jo calling "Super Tall Dutch Guy" (later Peter) a "Faggot"
42. The ingenius idea to use highlighters on our body under the UV lights in Cesar's
43. The Tambourine Song- Eve and I Like It Loud- version unknown :(
44. "Fucking amazing!"
45. "It's GOT VODKA IN IT!" Jo and Gina
SUNDAY
46. Gina running into a chair
47. Mc-English
48. Fireworks
49. Creepy Chinese Dude
50. Hot German Geetar dude
51. The coke exploding over Katie, Lorna and Steve
52. "Chair Man" and his excessive Absinthe drinking
53. Absinthe-drinking and it burns, oh it burns
54. Lorna setting fire to the side of The Book (which also doubles for Lorna's actual story notebook for her real book)
55. Finally broke a chair
56. The "McArse Crack"
57. Lack of good spelling within the group
58. Lorna lobbing two chairs up to the patio and both times hitting Jo
59. Lorna swapping the broken chair
60. "Fuck off you black bastard!" Gina to random black cat
61. Jo breaking the wal
62. Graeme breaking the fan with a plastic bag and a beach ball
63. "Teh Nobth Fade"
64. Locking out dancing miscreants from the apartment
65. Going to bed at 12am....actually like 4am
66. Gina's mating call
MONDAY
67. Emma and Rachel's five hour lunches
68. Graeme shouting the n-word in front of black people
69. Graeme brought after sun instead of sun cream to the beach
70. Graeme's flip flops are "RUINING MY LIFE!"
71. "Of course she offered you drinks, she's a fucking barmaid!" - Graeme
72. The Silly Idea thing
73. Jo giving her prized necklace to Patrick
74. Meeting a guy we thought was actually called "Bus"
75. "Lorna!!!!!" ..... "I'm busy!"
76. Learning Dutch in the street - "Maua boom!" "Nauchen in die kauchen"
77. Jo stubbing her fag out on people - Rachel's hand, Patrick's forehead...
78. ARMY NIGHT! ATTENTION!
79. Lorna getting carried home by Peter
TUESDAY
80. The Group hangover
81. Lorna and Jo's fun beach talk
82. The Bailey's Concoction (Bailey's/coke/sweets = yuk)
83. Aly's unco-operative bed
84. Lorna falling asleep on the coffee table
85. Jo's obsession with looking at the hot Dutch guys on the camera
86. Jo knocking the whole toilet roll down the toilet
87. "I do it for memory, I don't member much," Aly in Dutch accent explaining why Lorna takes so many pictures.
88. Graeme's obsessive doorbell ringing for over 8 minutes
WEDNESDAY
89. "Lorna, you can pure play Jenga with your chips," - Graeme in McDonalds
90. The massive bitching session in McDonalds
91. Aly hugging cars and shop windows whilst absolutely "Oot his tree"
92. Creepy man asking after Gina's balls
93. Water Polo Dude- Rina and Barbara
94. Mad Bas and his pill-poppin' camera extravaganza
95. Leeds racists
96. Weird Dutch girls who wanted our guys
97. Everyone who came out of Cesar's at closing time singing "I Want To Be A Hippy"
98. Aly slapping some drunk guy and calling him Wesley, then Damien, then Wesley
99. When Jo got her necklace back. Graeme moaned for days about getting his glasses back, gets them back, then merely hours later gives them away to a girl from Leeds.
100. Aly chasing a tractor that had just flattened the sand he was running through
101. "The Never-Ending Pizza!" - Graeme's last dinner in Lanzarote
102. "You're going down in the plane tonight, I will steal a steak knife" - Graeme, once he found out Jo had been putting crusts on his "Never-Ending" pizza plate.
So there we go. The McList.