A Trip Down South 4
Thanks to Laura and Andy for their comments :) It is much appreciated, more than I can fit into words ironically.
On with the show!
“So you gonna tell me what happened?” I asked him quietly across a safe café table.
“About what?” he replied, deliberately being ignorant.
I touched his hand so he would look up at me and he did. “About why you’re wanted and running around the place saving people.”
Logan shifted uncomfortably under my gaze before answering. “You don’ wanna know. Believe me. You’ll just tell me t’ leave and this time it won’ be a lie.”
I frowned at him. God, did he kill those people? “Did you kill the people Hemingway said you did?”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “Look, listen t’ me, that wasn’ exactly me when that happened. I mean, I wasn’ in control of my body and I know that sounds absolutely crazy and that you should be calling an insane asylum. They experimented on me.”
“Yeah I know,” I nodded, “what does that have to do with anything?”
“Rae,” he tightened his grip on my hand. “They put a demon inside of me t’ see what it’d do. It took over, murdered those people and now I gotta take all sorts of pills.”
“So why run if they knew what happened?” I asked him calmly.
“Do you have any idea what my Dad was like? That alone is enough t’ leave,” he replied darkly. “I couldn’ live there and pretend I hadn’ killed anyone when he was preachin’ about savin’ people. So now I’m floatin’ from town t’ town tryin’ t’ save as many people as I can...so I can try and redeem myself somehow. It’s better this way, believe me.”
This man before me - despite being as charming as ever - was completely different to who I thought I knew. This Logan was remorseful. He looked like he felt guilty for things he had no control over and it ate him up inside. He was beginning to be a shell of his former self and I couldn’t let him do that. “Logan, you need to accept what happened and get back home.”
He eyed me. “Linc’s called you, hasn’ he? You knew all of this already.”
“Yeah,” I confessed. “But I didn’t believe how much it shook you up until now. You’re a completely different person. You sound like you smoke less, I bet you drink less and hardly sleep around now all because you feel responsible for a demon messing with your body. Just like all those other people who were possessed that you saved and assured them that they weren’t responsible.”
He was silent and emptied a sugar packet onto the tabletop. “It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is,” I nodded. “Don’t be a self-pitying bastard. You are better than that and you know it. So stop and just start being yourself again. The old Logan would have seduced me well before now,” I told him, sipping my coffee slowly and waiting for his reaction.
He started laughing and I smiled at him. “You’re so right. I knew someone would kick me back into shape but I never thought it’d be you, baby,” he smirked. “As for you, maybe I’m just takin’ my time.”
“Maybe you are,” I looked at him slowly. “It doesn’t suit you though.”
“Thanks,” he cast his eyes down to the pile of sugar he was moving around with his fingertip. He glanced up at me, “So did you leave him or did he walk out on you?”
“Ah,” I sighed. “I’d really rather not talk about this, Logan.”
“Come on, I just told you I murdered those people the least you can do is tell me if Gregg left you for another woman,” he pointed out, breaking off part of my doughnut to eat.
I chewed into my bottom lip, keeping my eyes on my hands which were cupped around the warm coffee mug. “He left me but it wasn’t for another woman,” I told him reluctantly, waiting for the embarrassment that would surely follow once I told him why. “The main reason being that he felt my heart didn’t belong to him but to another man instead.”
Logan shrugged. “How did he know you were pinin’ away for another guy?” he asked, clearly not picking up on the fact that the other man was him. “Did you shout this other guy’s name durin’ sex or somethin’?” Logan chuckled away to himself before looking up at me. His mouth dropped open slightly and he stopped chewing upon seeing my serious expression and flushed cheeks. He frowned. “You didn’? Rae you are such fantasy, imagination cheater!” he accused with a smirk. “Why did he get his panties all up in a bunch? Most people fantasise about other people durin’ sex, it’s pretty normal. Shoutin’ out a name, however, probably ain’ the best plan but if a woman did that t’ me I’d just accept it and shout a random name at her. Hell, that’s actually happened t’ me. I shouted Irene.”
I raised my eyebrows at him. “Logan, think about it for a minute. What name would send Gregg into an absolute frenzy of anger and insecurities?”
He continued chewing more of his stolen doughnut thoughtfully for at least thirty seconds before the penny dropped. “Oh, my, God. You said my name didn’ you?” I could see he was trying desperately to keep any evidence of the glee he was feeling inside from his face but he really wasn’t doing a good job at all. “I knew I was spot on when I said you pictured me.”
“God, I can see your ego swelling already,” I buried my face in my hands. Logan laughed and took them in his across the table. “That doesn’t mean that I still picture you now though! Gregg left two years ago and that’s a long time to get over you.”
Logan arched an eyebrow at me. “Yeah right,” he smiled. “Look, who are you foolin’ here? It sure as hell ain’ me, baby. I’m not gonna lie t’ you Rae, I spent awhile lookin’ for you after you left - just in case I could change your mind. I never stopped thinkin’ about you, sure I’ve tried to but it’s too hard. You keep poppin’ back in there; tauntin’ me when the woman I’m with isn’ you.”
For Logan, that type of honest, heart-felt speech was a rarity. I had to admit that part of me was hoping he’d continue on and actually confess that he’s in love with me and has been all along. He’s never told me that and I’ve never told him, although I’m almost certain we both feel exactly the same and it was mad, blinding love feelings. “Okay, I guess that...I’ve felt the same about you since I left. As soon as I made that decision I knew it was the wrong one and I’d left with the wrong man. I wanted so badly for Gregg to be the right choice but all I found myself doing was comparing him to you and wishing he was you. If fate wanted me to have a good, normal life, then Gregg was the guy. He should’ve been the right choice. He was the good guy Logan. He was the guy who could actually tell me that he loved me.”
“Is that what you want me t’ do?” he asked suddenly. His green eyes were full of anticipation at the fact we were finally having this sort of honest conversation. “You chose him ‘cause I never said that t’ you? Rae, we both know exactly how we felt. It was too damn hard not to. We never needed words.”
“Yeah, I admit it, I chose him because I never knew how you felt. You were all over the place, hinting about how you might feel and how you might just care about me enough to stay faithful. Don’t you see though? He never worked because he wasn’t you. He said all those things and they felt wrong because he was the wrong choice. You were the right choice at that time.”
“Maybe I wasn’,” he shrugged, leaning back in the booth and releasing my hands from his. “Maybe whoever looks after the space-time continuum knew that if we were together then that we would probably argue each other t’ death. What if they were waitin’ for a random, fleeting moment where a guy has the urge t’ leave a bar in a hurry and the one person he runs into happens t’ be the one woman who got away from him?”
I furrowed my brow. “Do you honestly believe that? I thought you didn’t believe in fate.”
He shrugged lazily and held my gaze. “I don’ in the big scheme of things but maybe some things need a little time and space before they’re right.”
When did he get so philosophical?
On with the show!
“So you gonna tell me what happened?” I asked him quietly across a safe café table.
“About what?” he replied, deliberately being ignorant.
I touched his hand so he would look up at me and he did. “About why you’re wanted and running around the place saving people.”
Logan shifted uncomfortably under my gaze before answering. “You don’ wanna know. Believe me. You’ll just tell me t’ leave and this time it won’ be a lie.”
I frowned at him. God, did he kill those people? “Did you kill the people Hemingway said you did?”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “Look, listen t’ me, that wasn’ exactly me when that happened. I mean, I wasn’ in control of my body and I know that sounds absolutely crazy and that you should be calling an insane asylum. They experimented on me.”
“Yeah I know,” I nodded, “what does that have to do with anything?”
“Rae,” he tightened his grip on my hand. “They put a demon inside of me t’ see what it’d do. It took over, murdered those people and now I gotta take all sorts of pills.”
“So why run if they knew what happened?” I asked him calmly.
“Do you have any idea what my Dad was like? That alone is enough t’ leave,” he replied darkly. “I couldn’ live there and pretend I hadn’ killed anyone when he was preachin’ about savin’ people. So now I’m floatin’ from town t’ town tryin’ t’ save as many people as I can...so I can try and redeem myself somehow. It’s better this way, believe me.”
This man before me - despite being as charming as ever - was completely different to who I thought I knew. This Logan was remorseful. He looked like he felt guilty for things he had no control over and it ate him up inside. He was beginning to be a shell of his former self and I couldn’t let him do that. “Logan, you need to accept what happened and get back home.”
He eyed me. “Linc’s called you, hasn’ he? You knew all of this already.”
“Yeah,” I confessed. “But I didn’t believe how much it shook you up until now. You’re a completely different person. You sound like you smoke less, I bet you drink less and hardly sleep around now all because you feel responsible for a demon messing with your body. Just like all those other people who were possessed that you saved and assured them that they weren’t responsible.”
He was silent and emptied a sugar packet onto the tabletop. “It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is,” I nodded. “Don’t be a self-pitying bastard. You are better than that and you know it. So stop and just start being yourself again. The old Logan would have seduced me well before now,” I told him, sipping my coffee slowly and waiting for his reaction.
He started laughing and I smiled at him. “You’re so right. I knew someone would kick me back into shape but I never thought it’d be you, baby,” he smirked. “As for you, maybe I’m just takin’ my time.”
“Maybe you are,” I looked at him slowly. “It doesn’t suit you though.”
“Thanks,” he cast his eyes down to the pile of sugar he was moving around with his fingertip. He glanced up at me, “So did you leave him or did he walk out on you?”
“Ah,” I sighed. “I’d really rather not talk about this, Logan.”
“Come on, I just told you I murdered those people the least you can do is tell me if Gregg left you for another woman,” he pointed out, breaking off part of my doughnut to eat.
I chewed into my bottom lip, keeping my eyes on my hands which were cupped around the warm coffee mug. “He left me but it wasn’t for another woman,” I told him reluctantly, waiting for the embarrassment that would surely follow once I told him why. “The main reason being that he felt my heart didn’t belong to him but to another man instead.”
Logan shrugged. “How did he know you were pinin’ away for another guy?” he asked, clearly not picking up on the fact that the other man was him. “Did you shout this other guy’s name durin’ sex or somethin’?” Logan chuckled away to himself before looking up at me. His mouth dropped open slightly and he stopped chewing upon seeing my serious expression and flushed cheeks. He frowned. “You didn’? Rae you are such fantasy, imagination cheater!” he accused with a smirk. “Why did he get his panties all up in a bunch? Most people fantasise about other people durin’ sex, it’s pretty normal. Shoutin’ out a name, however, probably ain’ the best plan but if a woman did that t’ me I’d just accept it and shout a random name at her. Hell, that’s actually happened t’ me. I shouted Irene.”
I raised my eyebrows at him. “Logan, think about it for a minute. What name would send Gregg into an absolute frenzy of anger and insecurities?”
He continued chewing more of his stolen doughnut thoughtfully for at least thirty seconds before the penny dropped. “Oh, my, God. You said my name didn’ you?” I could see he was trying desperately to keep any evidence of the glee he was feeling inside from his face but he really wasn’t doing a good job at all. “I knew I was spot on when I said you pictured me.”
“God, I can see your ego swelling already,” I buried my face in my hands. Logan laughed and took them in his across the table. “That doesn’t mean that I still picture you now though! Gregg left two years ago and that’s a long time to get over you.”
Logan arched an eyebrow at me. “Yeah right,” he smiled. “Look, who are you foolin’ here? It sure as hell ain’ me, baby. I’m not gonna lie t’ you Rae, I spent awhile lookin’ for you after you left - just in case I could change your mind. I never stopped thinkin’ about you, sure I’ve tried to but it’s too hard. You keep poppin’ back in there; tauntin’ me when the woman I’m with isn’ you.”
For Logan, that type of honest, heart-felt speech was a rarity. I had to admit that part of me was hoping he’d continue on and actually confess that he’s in love with me and has been all along. He’s never told me that and I’ve never told him, although I’m almost certain we both feel exactly the same and it was mad, blinding love feelings. “Okay, I guess that...I’ve felt the same about you since I left. As soon as I made that decision I knew it was the wrong one and I’d left with the wrong man. I wanted so badly for Gregg to be the right choice but all I found myself doing was comparing him to you and wishing he was you. If fate wanted me to have a good, normal life, then Gregg was the guy. He should’ve been the right choice. He was the good guy Logan. He was the guy who could actually tell me that he loved me.”
“Is that what you want me t’ do?” he asked suddenly. His green eyes were full of anticipation at the fact we were finally having this sort of honest conversation. “You chose him ‘cause I never said that t’ you? Rae, we both know exactly how we felt. It was too damn hard not to. We never needed words.”
“Yeah, I admit it, I chose him because I never knew how you felt. You were all over the place, hinting about how you might feel and how you might just care about me enough to stay faithful. Don’t you see though? He never worked because he wasn’t you. He said all those things and they felt wrong because he was the wrong choice. You were the right choice at that time.”
“Maybe I wasn’,” he shrugged, leaning back in the booth and releasing my hands from his. “Maybe whoever looks after the space-time continuum knew that if we were together then that we would probably argue each other t’ death. What if they were waitin’ for a random, fleeting moment where a guy has the urge t’ leave a bar in a hurry and the one person he runs into happens t’ be the one woman who got away from him?”
I furrowed my brow. “Do you honestly believe that? I thought you didn’t believe in fate.”
He shrugged lazily and held my gaze. “I don’ in the big scheme of things but maybe some things need a little time and space before they’re right.”
When did he get so philosophical?