I swear to god, I'm gonna try and finish this one.

[first_donoharm]

Itunes meme:

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle and take the first 25 songs it gives you.
2. Link to the lyrics lol, not happening.
3. Let your friends assign you a song to write a drabble to. -- drabble: 100 words. I will try to stick to this so I actually finish.
4. Post this to your own journal

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Comments

[first_donoharm]

((sweet dreams are made of these; who am I to disagree?))

It's all too easy to be sucked into Jim's fantasy of charisma and charm. It's far too convenient, and McCoy simply refuses. He's anchored down in reality with bourbon and regret, was startled into the waking world brutally and isn’t about to take two steps back. He forces himself to look indifferent when he stares Jim down from across the room. It breaks Jim's heart a little. McCoy knows; he can sense it by the way the kid's attempts are getting a little more desperate, a little more edged with fear.

McCoy wants to tell him, leave, kid; hold your head up and move on. But Jim's head was never held very high, for all he pretends. He's just as broken as McCoy; but unlike Leonard, who almost flaunts it, Jim holds it in like the only secret he has left.

And after a few months, McCoy knows why. Jim's being used; used by the Admirals, used by Starfleet in general. They're molding him into someone they think he should be. (From across a paradox that's ripped open time, ghosts whisper about what should have been, and the gears of the universe grind and twist to correct their mistakes.) They rip away at Jim, trying to take out the parts they don't like and refitting him with all the tools to make a textbook Captain. And the kid lets them.

That, more than anything, infuriates McCoy. Because, despite everything he told himself, from the first day on the shuttle right up until the moment he wakes up curled around Jim because if they share a bed neither of them will wake up in a cold sweat-he knows he’s lost. He's lost and afloat in the fever dream of Jim Kirk as much as the kid himself. He can’t leave, and doesn’t know what he’ll do if Jim ever does.

He wants to tell him, some people are just made to be abused, but can’t bring himself to finish the thought.

I think it’s us, kid. I think it’s us.

[kirkstarted]

fuck and damn. i love how you manage to take this happy-go-lucky universe and add these odd, off notes to it, just little things here and there and it brings down the whole complex. really thought-provoking.

i like it. <3

[first_donoharm]

I don't exactly know how to write straight-up happy. It's why I haven't done the Christmas one yet. Thank you, though. ♥