i miss him.....greatly.
i never thought that i would come across the realization, that i truly miss him. (i am not speaking about patrick).
i really do. i went through my photos tonight and stumbled across the two photos of him that mean the most to me. they made me cry. i miss his smile and his touch. at times, i would be smitten by him. at times, i would be repulsed. i never, ever, thought that all of these feelings would be able to come back to me. he has left such a scar on me that i thought i would never be able to get rid of.
FUCK! I MISS YOU WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH. it is truly making tears come out of my eyes and fall onto my legs as i sit here in front of this computer typing this for everyone else to see. i miss our late night phone calls, and seeing your name on my caller id. sometimes it would show up with a message on my machine saying that you haven't talked to me in awhile and you were just checking up. not in an annoying way like how josh would call. in a sweet way that made you realize that he did still care about me.
the part that saddens me is the fact of knowing that nothing will ever happen. it never will. it's not that i wouldnt ever let it. it is the fact that no one else would.
....i miss you.
i really do. i went through my photos tonight and stumbled across the two photos of him that mean the most to me. they made me cry. i miss his smile and his touch. at times, i would be smitten by him. at times, i would be repulsed. i never, ever, thought that all of these feelings would be able to come back to me. he has left such a scar on me that i thought i would never be able to get rid of.
FUCK! I MISS YOU WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH. it is truly making tears come out of my eyes and fall onto my legs as i sit here in front of this computer typing this for everyone else to see. i miss our late night phone calls, and seeing your name on my caller id. sometimes it would show up with a message on my machine saying that you haven't talked to me in awhile and you were just checking up. not in an annoying way like how josh would call. in a sweet way that made you realize that he did still care about me.
the part that saddens me is the fact of knowing that nothing will ever happen. it never will. it's not that i wouldnt ever let it. it is the fact that no one else would.
....i miss you.