i plan on sleeping in.
it's kinda a scary thing when you miss being sad. i really do. i miss the way i write, i miss the way certain songs made me feel, i miss crying, i miss everying. i have been pondering a lot lately. like my happiness. am i really happy? who knows? does anyone care?
the other day i put this sad song on repeat with katelyn and tried to make myself cry. i almost did. i have been listening to "lover i dont have to love" by bright eyes and it is finally gotten to me. i miss my old life in certain ways, but in other ways, i NEVER want to go back. people tell me this is the happiest i have ever been. it scares me when they say that because i dont know if i really am happy right now.
ThatsMissWhite2U:are we really not friends anymore sam?
i am gold shoes:we're not.
stuff like that makes me really sad. i wish i could run away and completely start over for good. i want to go to new york or london or paris. yeah thats it, paris. no one will even speak the same language as me so it will be easy to start over. but no, i am stuck here being sad again over silly things i really shouldnt be sad over.
the other day i put this sad song on repeat with katelyn and tried to make myself cry. i almost did. i have been listening to "lover i dont have to love" by bright eyes and it is finally gotten to me. i miss my old life in certain ways, but in other ways, i NEVER want to go back. people tell me this is the happiest i have ever been. it scares me when they say that because i dont know if i really am happy right now.
ThatsMissWhite2U:are we really not friends anymore sam?
i am gold shoes:we're not.
stuff like that makes me really sad. i wish i could run away and completely start over for good. i want to go to new york or london or paris. yeah thats it, paris. no one will even speak the same language as me so it will be easy to start over. but no, i am stuck here being sad again over silly things i really shouldnt be sad over.