[[continuation of
personal log related to epidemic in Mansion]]
Tuesday -- More pain. Burning pain. Fever receding, occasioanl flare. Breathing problems.
- After I completed entry, Near (blind) dead. Ruptured thoracic and abdominal regions. green. like body in kitchn. illness's ultimate conclusion.
- I am dying. my pain points to it. ridiculous way to die.
- visits:
Mello, Watari, Pink-san. Loose ends tied.
- M. sicker than I thought. Green patches on back. Wants to make deals. Love her.
Wednesday -- Continuation & escalation of symptoms.
-
Went to kitchen for an hour in the evening.- **Beyond is well again.** no longer averse to watari eithr.
- Elle: discussion, Light worse (gr discharge), child Mello hallucinates but no other symp, something weird abt B visit friday?,
**WHY AREN'T THE CHILDREN ILL** (epidemiology)
- Feeling -- being watched
Thurs -- Same. feel watched when alone -- motor control deteriorating
-
Kitchen again -- met new Near
- mihael v sick -- discharge -- kira near v sick -- still active
- visit from Light, surprise @ his concern
fri -- same -- always more pain -- watched
- stayed in bed exc visitors
- misas eyes gr now -- why?
sat -- same, worse -- breathing
-
hallucinatn in hall. gurney. slime. body disappears. dead end but it vanished?- help from mel, talk -- *WHY DID EVERYONE GET SICK @ SAME TIME?**
= *****NOT A NORMAL DISEASE*****
- ghost? devil?
sun -- same as sat
-
met new 2x int conv-
conv w pink in kitchen -- promises re M -- my theory of illness (such as is)
mon -- same, alws increasing
-
mihael dead, light tkng badly
-
B in ktchn -- claims 3rd death.
B IS HALLUCINATION OR GHOST. IF HALL., AM FURTHER GONE THAN I THOUGHT. SAID:
***THE ILLNESS IS THE SAME THING AS THE GHOST***
***THE GHOST IS THE SAME THING AS THE ILLNESS***
***BOTH ARE SMTHNG ELSE ENTIRELY***
***WHO DIES DEPENDS ON THEM, ME?***
mockery -- why? wants to keep me alive to "give me a chance" --
mind playing tricks?
my sins?
tues -- same pain increasign watched
- sleeping, thinking
depends on me, sins, what is the cause??? "too slow"
why why why why w