(no subject)
I hope the rest of my life isn't like this.
I have a few awesome friends, only one or two actually live in Charleston. So the bright side is that I have a friend that cares about just hanging out with me and actually getting to know me rather than just cracking jokes about me when they don't even know anything about me. I've come to a point where I really don't like anyone and I can't trust anyone. Which is incredibly sad because I used to be the friendliest person but my nervous system is getting sick and tired of all the stress and rollercoaster rides. I really fucking love my friends but I seriously wish they would stop being so selfish and think about my feelings or the effect the words that come out of their mouth have on me. You wouldn't think you're friends would makes up lies about you or exaggerate the truth but apparently they do. And maybe if my friends listened to me once in awhile they would realize these things hurt me the most. Not because they are untrue and make me look dumb, ignorant or like a lier, but the things they say make the one person I truely care about look down on me and doubt me. I've been trying so hard to fix things between me and a certain friend but all my other friends just say shit to mess it up. my question is do they realize it? or do they even care? or are they just completely ignorant to anyone's feelings but their own? I know of one person one girl who actually cared about me when I was at my lowest. Fucking Sarah Rose. All she had to do was listen to me bitch and that would make me feel better and the littlest gesture like buying me a pint of ice cream made my whole day worth it. Who really cared when I told them I wasn't doing good that I was always sad and couldn't sleep and my grades were dropping and I couldn't eat. Sarah Rose did. I've still only known her less than a year but for some reason she gives a shit about me. I don't know why. I don't deserve it. I've come to say the only people that care about me in Charleston are Sarah Rose and Anson. I know others watch out for me but would they really comfort me if I was just looking sad. They probably wouldn't even notice.
so friends are nice when you find them.
but the truth would be nicer.
it would be nice for
You and
You and
You and
You and
You and
You and
You
to all tell the truth to each other. stop lying to me and stop lying about me. STOP LYING TO EACH OTHER.
and fuck live journal because I know this is just gonna make more people talk about me behind my back. so go ahead and interpret this the wrong way and tell everyone what bitchy things I said. I'm sure I'll hear about it tomorrow
that wasn't even the bad news...i kinda got carried away. I meant to talk about how I'm happy for the few friends I have but instead I bitched about the ones that do me wrong. So yeah thanks to Mike, Sarah Rose, Emily, and Anson or anyone else that really cares
what I really wanted to concentrate on complaining about was the dorms and hypocrites and getting my tooth chipped out by the alter boy who served me the blood of christ today. :D thanks!
I have a few awesome friends, only one or two actually live in Charleston. So the bright side is that I have a friend that cares about just hanging out with me and actually getting to know me rather than just cracking jokes about me when they don't even know anything about me. I've come to a point where I really don't like anyone and I can't trust anyone. Which is incredibly sad because I used to be the friendliest person but my nervous system is getting sick and tired of all the stress and rollercoaster rides. I really fucking love my friends but I seriously wish they would stop being so selfish and think about my feelings or the effect the words that come out of their mouth have on me. You wouldn't think you're friends would makes up lies about you or exaggerate the truth but apparently they do. And maybe if my friends listened to me once in awhile they would realize these things hurt me the most. Not because they are untrue and make me look dumb, ignorant or like a lier, but the things they say make the one person I truely care about look down on me and doubt me. I've been trying so hard to fix things between me and a certain friend but all my other friends just say shit to mess it up. my question is do they realize it? or do they even care? or are they just completely ignorant to anyone's feelings but their own? I know of one person one girl who actually cared about me when I was at my lowest. Fucking Sarah Rose. All she had to do was listen to me bitch and that would make me feel better and the littlest gesture like buying me a pint of ice cream made my whole day worth it. Who really cared when I told them I wasn't doing good that I was always sad and couldn't sleep and my grades were dropping and I couldn't eat. Sarah Rose did. I've still only known her less than a year but for some reason she gives a shit about me. I don't know why. I don't deserve it. I've come to say the only people that care about me in Charleston are Sarah Rose and Anson. I know others watch out for me but would they really comfort me if I was just looking sad. They probably wouldn't even notice.
so friends are nice when you find them.
but the truth would be nicer.
it would be nice for
You and
You and
You and
You and
You and
You and
You
to all tell the truth to each other. stop lying to me and stop lying about me. STOP LYING TO EACH OTHER.
and fuck live journal because I know this is just gonna make more people talk about me behind my back. so go ahead and interpret this the wrong way and tell everyone what bitchy things I said. I'm sure I'll hear about it tomorrow
that wasn't even the bad news...i kinda got carried away. I meant to talk about how I'm happy for the few friends I have but instead I bitched about the ones that do me wrong. So yeah thanks to Mike, Sarah Rose, Emily, and Anson or anyone else that really cares
what I really wanted to concentrate on complaining about was the dorms and hypocrites and getting my tooth chipped out by the alter boy who served me the blood of christ today. :D thanks!