sleepless
I know I should be in bed
And its almost 3am
But when I close my eyes I can only see miles of headlights
Fleshing out the distance
Not to tired, yet not awake.I’m forcing it out. Someone has been driving me crazy already with it, and I suppose it’s time. Step by step.
So it’s a Tuesday night, and I suppose you can say, a lot of nothing has been done tonight. Waking at 9AM, with a great horoscope to start my day; did my classes and went to the gym. Gym was rather exciting; pushing my self to the point where you feel light headed, tired, and weak was the end of it. Grabbing some pita pit, on the way back. Sitting in front of my comp and staring at my paper, just waiting for it to start filling it self up with paragraphs. Deciding to visit my friends across the hall; and grabbing a late night breakfast. And now here I am, at 1:45 AM typing this up.
I’ve been confused and frustrated lately, in many areas, not just one. [Get the easy ones off my chest first…] all this work. Don’t get me wrong, I love going to work sat and sun nights, its just coming back after at like 2:30 - 3:00AM that I can’t deal with. I mean look at me now…I’m still wired. But also my roommate, he’s usually up and drunk “macin” on the chicks. Whatever…Second I haven’t heard from my friend in Serbia for a while now, and I have no clue what’s going on… [I can think of many things, but best to know for sure then guess.] I’m his connection to come here, and I feel like I'm failing at it somehow, I don’t know how though. -I'm done with this.
I feel locked up…in my chest; a feeling of not being able to breath. This drives me nuts, because at times, I feel like I need it more then anything just to satisfy the urge, inside. But then this invisible…force [if you’d like] comes and tempers with me; pulling me back, away from the feeling…And it’s irritating. It could be the Gemini within me, playing tricks with my mind. One wanting one feeling, and the other opposite. Like a little kid wanting a candy bar so badly and being mad because his mommy doesn’t want to buy it for him. I want that feeling now, but I can’t. Not just because it’s distant, but because this other side of me “my other brother” is being all blah, blah…blah…bala, bala, bala. …Beat’s me.
And now, just sitting here, at 2:45am listening to DJ-River and his Mind Expanding album and being tired and all mellow like, doesn’t make it any easier. But…! It feels good…...
This is my quote for the night...
Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.
And its almost 3am
But when I close my eyes I can only see miles of headlights
Fleshing out the distance
Not to tired, yet not awake.I’m forcing it out. Someone has been driving me crazy already with it, and I suppose it’s time. Step by step.
So it’s a Tuesday night, and I suppose you can say, a lot of nothing has been done tonight. Waking at 9AM, with a great horoscope to start my day; did my classes and went to the gym. Gym was rather exciting; pushing my self to the point where you feel light headed, tired, and weak was the end of it. Grabbing some pita pit, on the way back. Sitting in front of my comp and staring at my paper, just waiting for it to start filling it self up with paragraphs. Deciding to visit my friends across the hall; and grabbing a late night breakfast. And now here I am, at 1:45 AM typing this up.
I’ve been confused and frustrated lately, in many areas, not just one. [Get the easy ones off my chest first…] all this work. Don’t get me wrong, I love going to work sat and sun nights, its just coming back after at like 2:30 - 3:00AM that I can’t deal with. I mean look at me now…I’m still wired. But also my roommate, he’s usually up and drunk “macin” on the chicks. Whatever…Second I haven’t heard from my friend in Serbia for a while now, and I have no clue what’s going on… [I can think of many things, but best to know for sure then guess.] I’m his connection to come here, and I feel like I'm failing at it somehow, I don’t know how though. -I'm done with this.
I feel locked up…in my chest; a feeling of not being able to breath. This drives me nuts, because at times, I feel like I need it more then anything just to satisfy the urge, inside. But then this invisible…force [if you’d like] comes and tempers with me; pulling me back, away from the feeling…And it’s irritating. It could be the Gemini within me, playing tricks with my mind. One wanting one feeling, and the other opposite. Like a little kid wanting a candy bar so badly and being mad because his mommy doesn’t want to buy it for him. I want that feeling now, but I can’t. Not just because it’s distant, but because this other side of me “my other brother” is being all blah, blah…blah…bala, bala, bala. …Beat’s me.
And now, just sitting here, at 2:45am listening to DJ-River and his Mind Expanding album and being tired and all mellow like, doesn’t make it any easier. But…! It feels good…...
This is my quote for the night...
Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.