I was happy once
Couples continuously fight, even when they break up. And the reason in the first place you broke up was because of fighting. I was always the one with the words to describe how I feel and she was just there to enjoy the compliments, and who knows, half of the time, believe me. I bang my head into the walls, I cry my self to sleep at night, I don’t eat and I barely breathe. Having the knot in your throat for the rest of the day as wells as when you wake up for the next day to experience the same excruciating pain of lust to be with her. I keep thinking over and over again if I should get back together and deal with the problems we have or not be with her at all. Right now as we speak, we talk once or twice a day, and it’s painful. Just knowing that she right there on the other side, and when you hear her voice all you want to say is “Baby” or “Sweetie”. She became a really big part of my life, and I have grown to help her out (willingly) and make things easier for her. I have tried to support her in any way possible at any situations that we’ve ran into, however, half of the time she would not accept my advices and would rather argue with me.
You don’t understand, neither does she, of the pain that I’m going through. The last time I saw her was when I dropped her of at her college. The next mourning, she bagged me to stay for a couple of more hours just to be there with her, so she doesn’t feel alone and scared. But the goodbye was uncalled for. Quickly running outside because she realized she had work and practice, we kissed for a fracture of a millisecond, and that was it. I gave her $60.00 dollars for her bus ticket to come down and see me ASAP. But as things turned out, now the money is used for a hair straighter.
I can’t do much about this situation now as it is. We fight constantly and in every fight we have, someone gets hurt. I have no other words to say, but describe how I feel, of how I feel betrayed, in everyway, because when things were rough, I was still there. And now, when I need someone, she’s either occupied with school, practice, work, friends or parties.
I feel like I’m crippled for life after having this happen. I wind it very hard to deal with, but for some reason, she is dealing with it fine. A great example would be the night she had no clue how she got home and who she was and what she did. I have to say that I don’t see her being sad about this. I have to say she is happy for the things they are now, now that we are separated.
I don’t know what love should be felt like anymore. Knowing that she won’t read this I’m comfortable to say “You loved my company around you because I never judged you and I accepted you for who you were. I believe with all my heart, I have treated you better then I have treated my self in my entire life. I did all the things that made you smile. I have come to a conclusion that you simply don’t ‘love’ me anymore and you feel like you are obligated to say things to me just because. I don’t know how to say this, but it’s like you became so comfortable that now you are uncomfortable with me. And everything you say to me is not with feelings. You get irritated when you talk to me, it simply bugs you how I think and speak to you.”
I guess me last words would be my first “You will always have a special place in my heart.”
You don’t understand, neither does she, of the pain that I’m going through. The last time I saw her was when I dropped her of at her college. The next mourning, she bagged me to stay for a couple of more hours just to be there with her, so she doesn’t feel alone and scared. But the goodbye was uncalled for. Quickly running outside because she realized she had work and practice, we kissed for a fracture of a millisecond, and that was it. I gave her $60.00 dollars for her bus ticket to come down and see me ASAP. But as things turned out, now the money is used for a hair straighter.
I can’t do much about this situation now as it is. We fight constantly and in every fight we have, someone gets hurt. I have no other words to say, but describe how I feel, of how I feel betrayed, in everyway, because when things were rough, I was still there. And now, when I need someone, she’s either occupied with school, practice, work, friends or parties.
I feel like I’m crippled for life after having this happen. I wind it very hard to deal with, but for some reason, she is dealing with it fine. A great example would be the night she had no clue how she got home and who she was and what she did. I have to say that I don’t see her being sad about this. I have to say she is happy for the things they are now, now that we are separated.
I don’t know what love should be felt like anymore. Knowing that she won’t read this I’m comfortable to say “You loved my company around you because I never judged you and I accepted you for who you were. I believe with all my heart, I have treated you better then I have treated my self in my entire life. I did all the things that made you smile. I have come to a conclusion that you simply don’t ‘love’ me anymore and you feel like you are obligated to say things to me just because. I don’t know how to say this, but it’s like you became so comfortable that now you are uncomfortable with me. And everything you say to me is not with feelings. You get irritated when you talk to me, it simply bugs you how I think and speak to you.”
I guess me last words would be my first “You will always have a special place in my heart.”