Confusion in Smoshville [Chapter 1]

[firetruckyouxx]

Title: Confusion in Smoshville
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for language and some sexual content
Pairing: Ian/Anthony
Summary: Ian and Anthony have feelings for each other but they don't want each other to find out because of their fears of rejection.
Chapter Summary: Anthony and Ian open some fanmail and find a surprise. Ian is also being a brat about

Comments

[boredomdelux]

* "I'm sorry, I don't speak idiot. In English please?" *
Omg that cracked me up XD

This series is indeed really fluffy and cute, just like you want it to be :) Your writing is really good, the text flows well and the conversation is SO into character ;D

However, I do have a tiny bit of con-crit if you wanna hear it. It's not too bad, so I think you can handle it ;) What I wanna say is, the plot might be a little cliche. I feel kinda horrible for saying this, but I'm just trying to give you my honest opinion. The whole "I have a crush on you and you have a crush on me, and omg we're both gay, but we're too scared to say anything", and "falling on you when you pull me up and accidentally kiss" is just not that likely to actually happen, perhaps.

Now, I'm not saying this to be mean, and I don't want you to change anything you've already written, and please don't discontinue this story. I only want to help you get even better in future chapters, as well as future stories :)

Oh geez, now I feel bad. It's just that, you seem really nice and I don't want to piss you off X3 But Con-crit is helpful for everyone! And as I said, your technical writing (grammar, spelling, flow in sentences) is really good, so nothing to worry about there. I hope this will help you to eventually create even more awesome stories! :D

[firetruckyouxx]

Hehe I was laughing while I wrote that line. It's something I could picture Anthony saying :3

*throws fist in the air* Thank you! I'm a teeny bit nervous about their characters...but now I have confidence in them :D

Thank you! :] I love con crit. I know the plot is chiché...heh. I'm not going to do the whole fluffy romantic first kiss fiasco, I'm going to um...well it's a surprise! :D I'm not really a fan of stories like that, I like a little spice in the mix. :]

I totally understand. I actually love that you said that. And you weren't mean at all! You spoke the truth and honestly, I'm glad you did!

Do not feel bad! And I'm nice? That's a first! :P hehe I say that because I have a kind of sarcastic exterior IRL. I'm pretty sure I'm super nice on the Internet o.o You didn't piss me off and con crit is super helpful :D Thank you, you and your review rocks!!!! :]

[boredomdelux]

Gaah, I'm so glad you took that so well! :D

ooh, it's exciting to hear that you have a little surprise for us ;) I'll definitely stick around to see what it is!

I'm glad I could be honest with you, makes everything so much easier ;D Plus, one can only get better, right? :))