HBP
so me and 40% of Chicago went to see HBP at midnight last night. i REALLY tried to steal internet last night to post my 4am thoughts, but the internet gods frowned upon me, so now i have to be THAT GUY who hangs around work after hours to steal the internet...
EXCEPT THERE CAN BE NO LOVE FOR THE PLOT HOLES. NONE. EVER.
i was initially extremely disappointed in the movie. ngl. as the credits rolled, i continuously muttered "...bullshit. complete bullshit..." but upon further reflection, i realize that there were actually a few things i liked about it, even though the negative outweighed the positive. but since i can't remember what i actually liked... here's what i didn't!
The Bad
1. the writing, WHAT. THE. FUCK. why the hell would they not continue to use Michael Goldenberg after he did such an awesome job with OotP? instead they go back to Steve Knoles who did a mediocre job with GoF. ugh. it makes me nauseous.
2. Lavender Brown. UM. SERIOUSLY? WAY TO OVERDO IT. i know she was annoying as all fuck in the book, but the whole "Ron in the Hospital Wing" scene...? fucking ridiculous. in front of teachers?? yeah. that's just stupid. she is just stupid. and they could have done a way better job with her character.
3. WAY TOO MUCH AWKWARD SEXUAL TENSION FOR A PG MOVIE. and like, um... why was Dumbledore always so interested in Harry's love life? where did that shit come from? the whole approach to the relationships made me feel like i was going through puberty again... i'm pretty sure 16/17 year olds don't act like that irl...
4. Sectumsempra. ok, i get it. they wanted to get the PG rating (god only knows WHY...) so they couldn't show the wound, but that was AWFUL. AW.FUL. he didn't even look that hurt to me. IDK maybe i'm just used to seeing more ghastly wounds in movies, but the way they described it in the book was like, HOLY SHIT THAT'S A FUCK TON OF BLOOD. idk. i was seriously disappointed, that whole scene was one of my favorites in the entire series (even though HBP is not my favorite book at all). which leads me to....
5. they didn't give Malfoy enough build up. there wasn't enough mystery, wasn't enough suspicion... have we forgotten that Harry was like, obsessed with what Malfoy was up to? so much so that he ignored Dumbledore's requests to figure out Slughorn's memory? they showed Harry up at night watching Malfoy on the map... but COME. ON. it was so much MORE than that!
6. Slughorn. what exactly was the purpose of having him seem like a bumbling idiot?? or like he was drunk all the time?? he seemed more like someone's crazy alcoholic uncle than a talented potions professor. they seriously sold this character short, and i'm upset. Slughorn isn't my fave by any stretch, but he deserved better than that.
7.UM. THE ENDING??? OR LACK THERE OF??? correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm pretty sure i'm not... wasn't there supposed to be a BATTLE!? we were shown all the teachers standing guard at different parts of the school, yet the death eaters got out without so much as a run-in with anyone? and the whole "fight back, you coward!" was riveting in the trailer... and almost laughable in the movie. sigh.
8. oh, and in case you forgot... this movie was called THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE. because they mention it all of like, THREE TIMES. this pissed me off a lot because... HELLO, IT'S THE TITLE...
9. random destruction of the Burrow and wheat field frolic.... UNNECESSARY!!!!! what exactly was conveyed in that scene that we didn't already know? Bellatrix is crazy? Greyback likes to attack kids? ok! whatever! this scene lasted WAY too long and pretty much proved nothing. and um... why did they just stand there and watch the house burn down when they coulda just shot water spells at it....? silly wizards.
10. Dumbledore's Last Stand. what was the point in having Harry un-petrified? that moment was SO much more dramatic in the book... when Harry was frozen, unable to do anything... just to stand there completely helpless as he watched Dumbledore die... COME ON!! there was absolutely no reason to have Harry visible and mobile... ugh. this is number one on the list of things i'll never get over in this movie.
all in all i found Dumbledore's death completely unemotional. not to knock the actors' skill, it was honestly the writing that ruined it. why weren't there any tear-jerky lines to pull the audience in? where was Harry's depressing revelation that Dumbledore was never going to be there to help him ever again? the world's greatest wizard is gone forever? COME ON, GIVE ME SOMETHING. i couldn't even muster a lump in my throat. i felt nothing. and that angers me, because HBP was one of like, 3 books ever that made me cry (and this one so much so that i had to stop reading it because i couldn't see the pages.)
i suppose i just need to see it again, without having such high expectations. but COME ON, the trailers set this up to be SUCH A GOOD MOVIE and i feel rather betrayed... and maybe i just have high expectations because i'm a film student, and i expect my movie plots to actually... you know... make sense... or follow some sort of arc.... MAYBE I AM JUST TOO DEMANDING?
[[ comments are likely to include spoilers too, so don't read unless you're prepared for that!! ]]
EXCEPT THERE CAN BE NO LOVE FOR THE PLOT HOLES. NONE. EVER.
i was initially extremely disappointed in the movie. ngl. as the credits rolled, i continuously muttered "...bullshit. complete bullshit..." but upon further reflection, i realize that there were actually a few things i liked about it, even though the negative outweighed the positive. but since i can't remember what i actually liked... here's what i didn't!
The Bad
1. the writing, WHAT. THE. FUCK. why the hell would they not continue to use Michael Goldenberg after he did such an awesome job with OotP? instead they go back to Steve Knoles who did a mediocre job with GoF. ugh. it makes me nauseous.
2. Lavender Brown. UM. SERIOUSLY? WAY TO OVERDO IT. i know she was annoying as all fuck in the book, but the whole "Ron in the Hospital Wing" scene...? fucking ridiculous. in front of teachers?? yeah. that's just stupid. she is just stupid. and they could have done a way better job with her character.
3. WAY TOO MUCH AWKWARD SEXUAL TENSION FOR A PG MOVIE. and like, um... why was Dumbledore always so interested in Harry's love life? where did that shit come from? the whole approach to the relationships made me feel like i was going through puberty again... i'm pretty sure 16/17 year olds don't act like that irl...
4. Sectumsempra. ok, i get it. they wanted to get the PG rating (god only knows WHY...) so they couldn't show the wound, but that was AWFUL. AW.FUL. he didn't even look that hurt to me. IDK maybe i'm just used to seeing more ghastly wounds in movies, but the way they described it in the book was like, HOLY SHIT THAT'S A FUCK TON OF BLOOD. idk. i was seriously disappointed, that whole scene was one of my favorites in the entire series (even though HBP is not my favorite book at all). which leads me to....
5. they didn't give Malfoy enough build up. there wasn't enough mystery, wasn't enough suspicion... have we forgotten that Harry was like, obsessed with what Malfoy was up to? so much so that he ignored Dumbledore's requests to figure out Slughorn's memory? they showed Harry up at night watching Malfoy on the map... but COME. ON. it was so much MORE than that!
6. Slughorn. what exactly was the purpose of having him seem like a bumbling idiot?? or like he was drunk all the time?? he seemed more like someone's crazy alcoholic uncle than a talented potions professor. they seriously sold this character short, and i'm upset. Slughorn isn't my fave by any stretch, but he deserved better than that.
7.UM. THE ENDING??? OR LACK THERE OF??? correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm pretty sure i'm not... wasn't there supposed to be a BATTLE!? we were shown all the teachers standing guard at different parts of the school, yet the death eaters got out without so much as a run-in with anyone? and the whole "fight back, you coward!" was riveting in the trailer... and almost laughable in the movie. sigh.
8. oh, and in case you forgot... this movie was called THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE. because they mention it all of like, THREE TIMES. this pissed me off a lot because... HELLO, IT'S THE TITLE...
9. random destruction of the Burrow and wheat field frolic.... UNNECESSARY!!!!! what exactly was conveyed in that scene that we didn't already know? Bellatrix is crazy? Greyback likes to attack kids? ok! whatever! this scene lasted WAY too long and pretty much proved nothing. and um... why did they just stand there and watch the house burn down when they coulda just shot water spells at it....? silly wizards.
10. Dumbledore's Last Stand. what was the point in having Harry un-petrified? that moment was SO much more dramatic in the book... when Harry was frozen, unable to do anything... just to stand there completely helpless as he watched Dumbledore die... COME ON!! there was absolutely no reason to have Harry visible and mobile... ugh. this is number one on the list of things i'll never get over in this movie.
all in all i found Dumbledore's death completely unemotional. not to knock the actors' skill, it was honestly the writing that ruined it. why weren't there any tear-jerky lines to pull the audience in? where was Harry's depressing revelation that Dumbledore was never going to be there to help him ever again? the world's greatest wizard is gone forever? COME ON, GIVE ME SOMETHING. i couldn't even muster a lump in my throat. i felt nothing. and that angers me, because HBP was one of like, 3 books ever that made me cry (and this one so much so that i had to stop reading it because i couldn't see the pages.)
i suppose i just need to see it again, without having such high expectations. but COME ON, the trailers set this up to be SUCH A GOOD MOVIE and i feel rather betrayed... and maybe i just have high expectations because i'm a film student, and i expect my movie plots to actually... you know... make sense... or follow some sort of arc.... MAYBE I AM JUST TOO DEMANDING?
[[ comments are likely to include spoilers too, so don't read unless you're prepared for that!! ]]