i feel bad in saying this
but! i feel as if many have been keeping secrets from me. my trust seems to be nonexistant lately. i suppose im so freaking afraid of getting stabbed in the back that im looking hard for reasons not to trust people. i have many reasons for alot of people around me, and normaly i do my best to atempt to over look them... but lately i just dont want to. i feel lazy and dont want to look deeper into people because maybe face value is all they have. maybe they arent as deep as i give them credit for. maybe credit is just not due. i feel that they need to earn it from me now. i can listen to all the promises, kind words, and plans in the world but they mean nothing if action isnt taken.
the hardest part for me with all of this is that its eating me away inside. i keep asking what i need to do to fix it, what i did to do this, why its all happeing... but its no longer my problem. i dont fucking care anymore. i am tired of making atempts when its not returned in the least. i am tired of it and its taking its tole on me more than i can express.
maybe its the insanity of the season, maybe its pms. i dont know. i dont care. fuck this! im done!
the hardest part for me with all of this is that its eating me away inside. i keep asking what i need to do to fix it, what i did to do this, why its all happeing... but its no longer my problem. i dont fucking care anymore. i am tired of making atempts when its not returned in the least. i am tired of it and its taking its tole on me more than i can express.
maybe its the insanity of the season, maybe its pms. i dont know. i dont care. fuck this! im done!