elegy
Contrary to everyone else who has been getting little or no sleep, I find myself sleeping at least 7-9 hours most nights. o.O
Why am I on here? I need to get to work...I have to finish reading Milton's Paradise Lost, Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse, Defoe's Roxana, Woolf's Mrs. Dalloway, Nella Larsen's Passing, write two papers that are worth 25-30% of my grade in each respective class, all by next Thursday.
@_@;;;
Also... I dug up some old albums today and listened to my Bleed American CD (Jimmy Eat World) and some other random Chinese pop songs that reminded me of Ben. As a result, I'm feeling really sad/nostalgic. "If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now... if you love me at all, don't call."
I remember that song. I remember what happened during that song. It was a really snowy day in December of 2002 when I got into that accident at Carlton and Haslett Rd...I remember before leaving, my mum had warned me about the roads, because the snow was coming down fast. There were hardly any cars on the road when I set out, so I thought I'd be okay. Then I remember seeing Carlton Rd... "If you're listenin', whoa..." a flash of red... "string from your tether unwinds... I was spinning free, whoa..." sliding, brakes screeching... "with a little sweet and simple numbing me..." crash. Panic. Panic. Panic.
Then I remember walking into that house, I remember the smell of the room, I remember your love and comfort, and I remember how the lake roared beneath its icy crust...
"I never said thank you for that."
I almost forgot about my solo walk on Tihart that moonlit night in February (2003?). I was so full of anger and hope, contrary emotions pulling me in your direction. "On sleepless roads the sleepless go..." Funny how this album encompasses our story so completely.
"What's wrong baby? Don't they treat you like they should?"
I've never had a problem expressing myself. Sometimes I've had trouble finding the words, but I've always been able to show my feelings with body language. I'm sorry I tried to suppress all of that - I've had that inclination to do so ever since we each went our own ways. This is my silent apology - silent, because you will never read this - offered up in memory of our younger selves. It's more of an apology to myself, because I am the one who cares about it. That's just fine though.
"You'll change your mind come Monday, and turn your back on me."
I'm so glad, though. Someday, I'll write a story. You'll be in it, if that's okay. Thank you for setting me free.
Why am I on here? I need to get to work...I have to finish reading Milton's Paradise Lost, Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse, Defoe's Roxana, Woolf's Mrs. Dalloway, Nella Larsen's Passing, write two papers that are worth 25-30% of my grade in each respective class, all by next Thursday.
@_@;;;
Also... I dug up some old albums today and listened to my Bleed American CD (Jimmy Eat World) and some other random Chinese pop songs that reminded me of Ben. As a result, I'm feeling really sad/nostalgic. "If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now... if you love me at all, don't call."
I remember that song. I remember what happened during that song. It was a really snowy day in December of 2002 when I got into that accident at Carlton and Haslett Rd...I remember before leaving, my mum had warned me about the roads, because the snow was coming down fast. There were hardly any cars on the road when I set out, so I thought I'd be okay. Then I remember seeing Carlton Rd... "If you're listenin', whoa..." a flash of red... "string from your tether unwinds... I was spinning free, whoa..." sliding, brakes screeching... "with a little sweet and simple numbing me..." crash. Panic. Panic. Panic.
Then I remember walking into that house, I remember the smell of the room, I remember your love and comfort, and I remember how the lake roared beneath its icy crust...
"I never said thank you for that."
I almost forgot about my solo walk on Tihart that moonlit night in February (2003?). I was so full of anger and hope, contrary emotions pulling me in your direction. "On sleepless roads the sleepless go..." Funny how this album encompasses our story so completely.
"What's wrong baby? Don't they treat you like they should?"
I've never had a problem expressing myself. Sometimes I've had trouble finding the words, but I've always been able to show my feelings with body language. I'm sorry I tried to suppress all of that - I've had that inclination to do so ever since we each went our own ways. This is my silent apology - silent, because you will never read this - offered up in memory of our younger selves. It's more of an apology to myself, because I am the one who cares about it. That's just fine though.
"You'll change your mind come Monday, and turn your back on me."
I'm so glad, though. Someday, I'll write a story. You'll be in it, if that's okay. Thank you for setting me free.