Meh...
Sorry for last nights post...
Today was a pretty good day. I've been tired though. I think I
mentioned this before, but I'm not sleeping well again. The nightmares
aren't coming back just yet, but it's taking me forever to fall asleep.
Last night I couldn't find anything to do, and knowing I had to be up
at 5am, I went to bed at 9:45. I was laying in bed for over an hour
with out being so much as close to sleeping. Sometime around midnight
Andrew sent me a text message to ask if I was still awake, and I was
quick to call him. We ended up laughing and giggling(much like we
usually do) for quite sometime. Aparently I had a lot of energy to
release before I fell asleep. We hung up after a while, but it still
wasn't until 1am that I finally drifted off. I don't really remember
any dreams from last night, since I only slept for 4 hours. Mom and I
left the house around 6:15 this morning and headed to work. I got
started right away, and really didn't have much time for a break. It
wasn't that bad though. I got a full 8 hours in today(I clocked our
early, normally it'd be 10 hours), but with the freedom I have at work,
I was able to talk to people on the phone a little bit while I worked.
I got a pretty good work out actually. I had to carry all these bags of
heavy books up and down stairs to and from the mail room. By the end of
all 10 trips I was sweating, my forearms hurt(part of that is from
climbing the other day), and I needed a break. Mom and I ended up
sitting down in her office for a while. She could tell something was
bothering me. We talked, and she cried a little bit. The conversation
was about my dad, and some of the things he's put Andrew, Eric and I
through over the years.
Last night I told my mom that Dad had taken $3000 each from Andrew and I. That made her really upset. I should probably give you a bit of background first. When I was 13 my birth mom commit suicide. She died a month before my 14 birthday. Up until we turned 18, Andrew and I collected social security money from her death. Each month, about $600 was deposited into each of our accounts. It would have been more had it not been for her husband Mack. The accounts the the money went into were accounts that Andrew and I had started when we were younger. We were really good about saving our money when we were young, so birthday money and christmas money would go into them. Before social security, I think I had saved over $1200. The money went in each month, and my Dad decided that he would invest our money in a mutual fund through Edward Jones. Each month, $500 was taken from the account, which left a little over $100 to accumulate over time. Over four years, that accumulation grew to a lot of money. A year ago, Dad decided to take out $5000 and invest in a BGK. We were suppose to recieve dividends from that account that would be put back into the savings account. Shortly after, he decided to take $1000 each and start a new account at a different bank. A month ago, Dad told us that IF we wanted to own our cars from him, we had to pay him $3000. Three nights ago, I find out that he took out $3000 a long time ago from the accounts to cover that cost( I wasn't planning to buy my car from him). The money from the BGK investment was never seen again. Later, we found out he had pulled away from the investment and kept the $5000 from each of us. He never started a new account with the $1000 that he took. So, through this time period Andrew and I have each lost $9000+. That's money we'll never see again. I don't know how the mutual funds are doing, or if they're even still there. Andrew has decided to pretent that the money never existed, so that way he's not hurt by all this. I, on the other hand, look at it in a different light.
My dad is so hungry for money that he'd do anything for it. The money that he's been stealing from us, is money that was collected because someone died! My Mom took her own life out of severe depression. Here's a fun story. According to my family(on her side), she was never depressed until the day she lost custody of Andrew and I. When the custody battle started, my Dad's lawyer told him that if he wanted to win(since they usually favor the mother), he would have to pull every string possible. Those of you who know my dad would know that he'd do anything to win, no matter how much it hurt someone else. He's always after the prize. He accused my mom of sexual abuse, neglect, he pulled up background checks to find anything that would hurt her. I remember when the social worker came to talk to Andrew and I and talked to us about sex to see if we'd been exposed to it through our mom. Eventually my Dad won becasue of things he pulled up on my soon to be step dad(who had joint custody of his son). He fought so hard not because he thought she would be a bad mother, but because he likes to win. When we would visit my mom every other weekend, her and Mack were great parents. They taught us great manners, made sure we brushed after every meal, always took showers, and always cleaned up after ourselves. They took us to parks, pools, go-cart racing, we spent lots of time visiting grandma, and always had fun. My dad use to say the worst things about my mom. Just absolutely terrible things. I could never understand why. The events that led to my mothers depression and eventually her death were in part started by my father. The very same man who now thinks he "deserves" the money she saved up. If we argue with him, he'll tell us it's his money, he doesn't have to give it to us. How the fuck does he think he deserves a cent of that money after what he did? It's so low to take advantage of a dead womans money because he can't stop spending money to save his life. It's also low to steal from your kids because he can't get his act together. It makes me soo mad. I nearly burst into tears at work today. I felt the lump in my throat, and the heaviness in my eyes. Andrew kept me calm with his text messages though and I was fine. When Mom(actually my step mom) were talking about all this, she started crying because she couldn't believe how strong Andrew, Eric, and I have become, and how we've managed to become who we are with someone like him in our lives.
With all that being said, my dad isn't the worse person alive. He has good qualities too, and I've learned through his good and his mistakes. For instance, because of broken promises and constant lies, I am always honest, and always open. There are a lot of things about him I dont like, and there are things that I do like. Right now though, the bad things are really hurting me.
In other news, my little brother played an awesome baseball game tonight and won. I got to play with my Goldie, Gretta, cause she was at the game with Dana, and she was rather hyper. I kinda have a goatee and it doesn't look terrible, and Paul might take some model shots of me with his very expensive and shiny camera. I like shiny.
So, that's all I have for now. ToOdLeS n' stuff
"You're not alone"
~Phoenix
Last night I told my mom that Dad had taken $3000 each from Andrew and I. That made her really upset. I should probably give you a bit of background first. When I was 13 my birth mom commit suicide. She died a month before my 14 birthday. Up until we turned 18, Andrew and I collected social security money from her death. Each month, about $600 was deposited into each of our accounts. It would have been more had it not been for her husband Mack. The accounts the the money went into were accounts that Andrew and I had started when we were younger. We were really good about saving our money when we were young, so birthday money and christmas money would go into them. Before social security, I think I had saved over $1200. The money went in each month, and my Dad decided that he would invest our money in a mutual fund through Edward Jones. Each month, $500 was taken from the account, which left a little over $100 to accumulate over time. Over four years, that accumulation grew to a lot of money. A year ago, Dad decided to take out $5000 and invest in a BGK. We were suppose to recieve dividends from that account that would be put back into the savings account. Shortly after, he decided to take $1000 each and start a new account at a different bank. A month ago, Dad told us that IF we wanted to own our cars from him, we had to pay him $3000. Three nights ago, I find out that he took out $3000 a long time ago from the accounts to cover that cost( I wasn't planning to buy my car from him). The money from the BGK investment was never seen again. Later, we found out he had pulled away from the investment and kept the $5000 from each of us. He never started a new account with the $1000 that he took. So, through this time period Andrew and I have each lost $9000+. That's money we'll never see again. I don't know how the mutual funds are doing, or if they're even still there. Andrew has decided to pretent that the money never existed, so that way he's not hurt by all this. I, on the other hand, look at it in a different light.
My dad is so hungry for money that he'd do anything for it. The money that he's been stealing from us, is money that was collected because someone died! My Mom took her own life out of severe depression. Here's a fun story. According to my family(on her side), she was never depressed until the day she lost custody of Andrew and I. When the custody battle started, my Dad's lawyer told him that if he wanted to win(since they usually favor the mother), he would have to pull every string possible. Those of you who know my dad would know that he'd do anything to win, no matter how much it hurt someone else. He's always after the prize. He accused my mom of sexual abuse, neglect, he pulled up background checks to find anything that would hurt her. I remember when the social worker came to talk to Andrew and I and talked to us about sex to see if we'd been exposed to it through our mom. Eventually my Dad won becasue of things he pulled up on my soon to be step dad(who had joint custody of his son). He fought so hard not because he thought she would be a bad mother, but because he likes to win. When we would visit my mom every other weekend, her and Mack were great parents. They taught us great manners, made sure we brushed after every meal, always took showers, and always cleaned up after ourselves. They took us to parks, pools, go-cart racing, we spent lots of time visiting grandma, and always had fun. My dad use to say the worst things about my mom. Just absolutely terrible things. I could never understand why. The events that led to my mothers depression and eventually her death were in part started by my father. The very same man who now thinks he "deserves" the money she saved up. If we argue with him, he'll tell us it's his money, he doesn't have to give it to us. How the fuck does he think he deserves a cent of that money after what he did? It's so low to take advantage of a dead womans money because he can't stop spending money to save his life. It's also low to steal from your kids because he can't get his act together. It makes me soo mad. I nearly burst into tears at work today. I felt the lump in my throat, and the heaviness in my eyes. Andrew kept me calm with his text messages though and I was fine. When Mom(actually my step mom) were talking about all this, she started crying because she couldn't believe how strong Andrew, Eric, and I have become, and how we've managed to become who we are with someone like him in our lives.
With all that being said, my dad isn't the worse person alive. He has good qualities too, and I've learned through his good and his mistakes. For instance, because of broken promises and constant lies, I am always honest, and always open. There are a lot of things about him I dont like, and there are things that I do like. Right now though, the bad things are really hurting me.
In other news, my little brother played an awesome baseball game tonight and won. I got to play with my Goldie, Gretta, cause she was at the game with Dana, and she was rather hyper. I kinda have a goatee and it doesn't look terrible, and Paul might take some model shots of me with his very expensive and shiny camera. I like shiny.
So, that's all I have for now. ToOdLeS n' stuff
"You're not alone"
~Phoenix