Conscious Effort V. Obligatory Love Yous
So, I was talking to VDM the other night about how Dave and I say I love you and how it is kinda odd. Besides the obvious answer of "well we're kinda odd" it made me think. For those who haven't been around us a whole lot, Dave and I never have the exchange of
"I love you..."
"I love you too"
Our exchanges usually go more like:
"DUV!!"
(and I make a funny, excited face)
or..."OMIGOD! Favorite!"
"Yay!"
I believe too many people have fallen into the Obligated Love Yous. This is worse than the How are you? Fines. Dave and I never say I love you in the same way. It is always a different combination of unusual reactions. I love seeing the faces of people when they first hear our exchange. They look at me or Dave with the look of "um..they didn't say I love you back..." Our usual response is " (Yay!, Woot!, etc) means I love you too".
I'm not saying that replying with I love you too is a bad thing, or maybe I am. It has become a conditioned response, something that slips off the tongue without thought. When I say I love you (or I love you too) to Dave I have conscious thought to say it. I think of a creative way to show him that moment that I love him.
Every time I yell "favorite!" or reply with a silly face, I letting Dave know that I truly love him and that I do not have a case of the Obligatory Love Yous with the side effect of conditioned response.
"I love you..."
"I love you too"
Our exchanges usually go more like:
"DUV!!"
(and I make a funny, excited face)
or..."OMIGOD! Favorite!"
"Yay!"
I believe too many people have fallen into the Obligated Love Yous. This is worse than the How are you? Fines. Dave and I never say I love you in the same way. It is always a different combination of unusual reactions. I love seeing the faces of people when they first hear our exchange. They look at me or Dave with the look of "um..they didn't say I love you back..." Our usual response is " (Yay!, Woot!, etc) means I love you too".
I'm not saying that replying with I love you too is a bad thing, or maybe I am. It has become a conditioned response, something that slips off the tongue without thought. When I say I love you (or I love you too) to Dave I have conscious thought to say it. I think of a creative way to show him that moment that I love him.
Every time I yell "favorite!" or reply with a silly face, I letting Dave know that I truly love him and that I do not have a case of the Obligatory Love Yous with the side effect of conditioned response.