Crazy Love Chapter 8
Okay so looks like I lied about a few things. First of all, I suck at posting in a timely manner, second this chapter doesn't have the happy ending I thought it would. This chapter was starting to become too long and full of too many things, so I decided to split it on two. Good news is hopefully I'll have that chapter up soon since it's already written. Also, in light of the events going on lately I had to do a lot of thinking. I though about whether it was going to change how my fics were going and the answer is no. I plan on keeping Koki in both the fics I'm writing. To me, he will always be a member of KAT-TUN and so I'm keeping him where he belongs.
Title: Crazy Love
Author: fireside_story
Chapter: 8/?
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,450
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I do not have any connections to KAT-TUN or any of the members past or present. I write this story for my own pleasure and make no profit from it.
Pairings: KameDa, KoKame, JunDa, Jinda (-ish), DenDen, mentions of past Akame. Basically it's a giant KAT-TUN orgy!! Well not quite.......
Summary: Ueda has been secretly in love with Kame for years but has been sleeping with Junno to try and forget about the younger man. Kame is still trying to mend his broken heart from when Jin left and is content with his relationship with Koki, that is until he starts working on a song with a certain piano man. As their relationship blossoms will Koki and Junno graciously step aside? And how will their new love handle the return of Jin into their lives.
Warnings: language, sexual references (starting to feel like I should just keep these warnings up here)
Beta: Nope, not yet.... maybe one day though.......
Chapter 8
Late evening light filtered through the window, falling on the figure lying on the couch flipping through the TV channels. After his 'talk' with Kame in the change room, Ueda had packed his gym bag and left, calling the choreographer saying he wasn't feeling well and was taking the rest of the day off. He knew this was going to cause an issue, an afternoon off for him meant one for the whole group pushing back their tight schedule. He half expected Julie to be hounding him with phone calls, reaming him out for messing up Kame's schedule that she had timed perfectly. Pushing this back meant he'd have to choose between group work and a solo project she had lined up for him, and he always chose group work first.
Ueda groaned, burying his face into one of the throw pillows on his couch. He didn't want to think of Kame, since that led to thinking about what happened in the change room. That led to thinking of the feeling of Kame's lips on his skin, the feeling of those strong hands on his bare chest, and that incredible moment when Kame's finger had driven inside him. Ueda shook his head, he had to stop this right now since he'd already had to finger himself three times to try and forget that feeling but his brain wasn't co-operating. He needed something to distract him, but nothing he had tried all afternoon had worked. Jumping when his phone rang, the sudden noise jarring him from his musings, Ueda picked up the device, looked at the caller ID and saw it was Julie. Stalling for a moment he decided that he'd rather get screamed at then be left to his own thoughts.
"Hello," he answered trying to sound as if he was recovering from some imaginary ailment.
"I'm glad to hear in your voice that you're feeling better," Julie started sounding relieved, and reassuring Ueda that his voice acting sucked. He made a mental note to not work on any animes or video games. "Kame told me what happened at rehearsal."
"H-he did?" Ueda asked trying to keep out that note of panic in his voice. He must have lied to her, he made up some story to cover your ass. He's not stupid enough to tell her what really happened, Ueda told himself over again.
"About how he spent nearly a half an hour in the bathroom with you before he was able to talk you into going home?" Julie asked suspicion evident in her voice.
"Yeah, I was just kind of hoping he spared you the gross details," for God sake's Ueda, you're an actor! You should be able to lie better then this!
"He really hopes you're feeling better tomorrow. Thankfully I was able to move his Panasoinc commercial shoot to next week so he could attend dance rehearsal tomorrow instead." There it was, the not to subtle hint that Julie was not pleased about rearranging Kame's schedule.
Ueda knew he had been pushing his luck faking sick for even half a day and figured he was getting off easy. "It must have been something I ate. I'll be there tomorrow," he assured her.
"I'm glad to hear it, but that's not the reason I called," Ueda rose his eyebrows but was smart enough to say nothing. He knew that was the exact reason Julie had called, now was coming to excuse she would use to validate it. "I have a script for you to look at. The director contacted me saying she wanted you for a role. If you like what you read just let me know and the part is yours, no audition needed."
Ueda sat up, suddenly very interested in the conversation "really?" he asked surprised. He never got offers like this, usually it was Kame. "But how does she know if I'll have chemistry with the other actors?"
"She said the other main role will be played by someone you've worked with in the past, if he agrees. I'll stop by shortly and drop the script off for you to look at. Let me know what you decide to do either way, oh and one more thing; you don't have issues kissing other men do you?"
Ueda took a sip of his tea as he turned a page in the script. This movie had come at the perfect time, meaning he'd be away from Kame during filming. He had nearly choked when Julie had asked him about kissing other men. He had never told her his preference, since he believed it was none of her business to know. Even with his preference, he never thought he'd be considering starring in a Boy Love movie and the only condition for the role was he had to grow out his hair again. In his mind, as far as conditions went, that was pretty doable.
Setting down his teacup on the end table, there was a loud banging on his front door. Ueda sat there contemplating, whether to answer it or not, since it could only be one person and he really didn't want to talk to him. His mind was made up for him as another round of pounding ran through his apartment, bringing his dogs from their various hiding places to bark at the noise. Heaving a sigh of frustration, Ueda walked to the door and began the task of squeezing himself between the wood and the animals noses.
"Back up guys," He told the dogs, pushing them back with his knees before opening the door to find Kame on the other side. Ueda felt his defenses go up as he faced the man that had caused him so much confusion, "I thought we agreed to not be alone with each other?"
"We need to talk," Kame stated looking about as pleased with this situation as Ueda did. "Can I come in?"
Ueda leaned against the open door, for support as well as to steel himself against the one man that affected him the most, "what if I say no?"
"I don't really think you want me to say this in the hallway." Kame deadpanned, letting his anger with the situation be known. "Unless you have no problem with the whole floor knowing how we almost had sex."
Ueda narrowed his eyes, but stepped aside to let Kame enter, fingers brushing through the fur of his closest dog. The animal could feel his owner's tension and stayed by Ueda's side, bumping his legs to let him know he was there. Ueda watched as Kame walked into his apartment, and petted the dogs that came up to him before turning on Ueda, "what the hell have you done to me?"
Ueda's jaw dropped, anger stirring as his defenses went up even more. "Excuse me?" he demanded crossing his arms. How the hell was this all his fault?!
Kame ran his fingers through his hair, trying to figure out what he was saying. Right after he knew he had started this whole thing wrong. "Ever since we kissed-"
"We did a little bit more then just kiss, Kazuya." Ueda interrupted. He knew he was being a bitch, but he was mad so he didn't care.
Kame glared at the other man, suddenly reminded why they used to fight so much in the beginning of their careers. "Fine, ever since I sucked you off, all I can think about is you. I spent a night having amazing sex with Koki, then I fell asleep and dreamt of you. And let me tell you, the sex in the dream was so much better. Today, the moment I'm alone with you, I can't help myself and now, seeing you standing there, I want you. I want you so fucking badly." Kame began walking towards Ueda, backing the smaller man up against the wall behind him; placing his hands on the wall on either side of Ueda's head pinning him in place.
"I look at you and I want to take you up against this wall, until you're screaming my name and I can finally watch you get off on me. And I can tell by the look in your eyes, you'd let me."
Ueda steeled himself before muttering the half lie, "no I wouldn't."
Kame quirked an eyebrow before pressing his entire body against Ueda's, resting his forearms on the wall behind the smaller man. Ueda gasped feeling that Kame was already half hard, just from the conversation. "Really?" he whispered in the shorter man's ear, sending shivers down Ueda's spine. "Because that look your giving me says otherwise." Kame shifted until he was whispering against Ueda's parted lips, "all I can think about is you, all I dream about is you. I'm begging you to just let me have you so I can get you out of my system."
"Would you leave Koki?" Ueda finally asked the one question he had to know the answer to.
Kame straightened, looking down at Ueda their faces still only a few inches apart. "What?" he asked, unsure he had heard correctly.
"Would you leave Koki?" Ueda repeated looking the younger man in the eye. It took all of his concentration to keep the conversation going since his body was starting to react to Kame's.
"Would I leave Koki?" Kame asked, almost as if the more times it was said maybe the question would change. Ueda refrained from rolling his eyes before nodding. "For you?" Kame finished the unspoken part of his question, Ueda nodded again.
Kame walked away from Ueda, hands musing up his hair in frustration, before turning back to face the other man. "Where the hell did that come from?"
"From seeing how much I hurt Junno and not wanting to do the same to Koki! From you saying we need to stay away from each other and yet here you are." Ueda ranted taking a few steps toward Kame.
"Because I want you! God I haven't wanted someone this badly since-" Kame left the sentence unfinished, turning his head away from Ueda. This whole thing was not going the way he had planned.
"Since who Kazuya?" Ueda demanded, crossing his arms again. He believed he knew the answer, but he wanted to know for sure. "Since Jin?!"
Upon hearing that name, Kame's attention snapped back to Ueda an underlying fear shining in his eyes. The same fear that always crept up when thinking about his ex-lover. "How did you know about that?" he asked quietly.
Ueda noticed the fear, wondered about it even, but still he answered the question calmer then he had been moments before. "I have eyes Kazuya, I saw the way you two used to look at each other. Plus I walked in on you guys having sex in the change room one day right after our debut. The same way someone could have walked in on us this afternoon!"
The fear in Kame's eyes was replaced with frustration once again, "what do you want from me?!" he nearly screamed, Ueda's dog placing himself between the two men in obvious protection of his owner.
"Leave Koki! That's the only way I'll sleep with you! I'm done with the cheating and the lies." Ueda firmly stated. He was going to stand his ground on this, no matter how good Kame looked right now.
"We cheated once Tatsuya, once! With each other!" Kame was beyond frustrated now, half of it being sexual. When he had come over, he was hoping he'd be getting sex, not an argument.
"And you didn't see that look pain and betrayal on Junno's face when he found out. That look nearly killed me, and I won't be responsible for it again." Ueda was proud of himself, he was actually standing his ground. As long as Kame didn't try to kiss him, he'd be good.
Usually Kame would respect Ueda's stance, but he wanted sex dammit; now it was just making him more angry, "so you want me to leave a healthy relationship for the mere possibility of sleeping with you?"
Ueda scoffed, "how healthy is your relationship if you have to come begging me for sex?"
"What do you want from me Tatsuya?!" Kame screamed, getting more angry and frustrated with every question Ueda threw at him.
There it was, the ultimate question, and Ueda could only think to answer it one way. "I want you!" he yelled back before feeling all his anger drain out of him with the truth of the statement. "I just want you."
Kame felt as if Ueda had delivered the final blow. With the look of pure emotion in his eyes and the deflated stance, it was painfully obvious. Ueda was in love with him; he was madly in love with him and probably had been for years. Kame felt as if he couldn't breathe, but not from Ueda's feelings, from his own. He was finally able to distinguish the feeling that Ueda evoked from him; it was hope. Hope that one day this man could make him happy again. Hope that he'd be able to find everything he'd been missing since Jin left him. Hope that he could fall in love again and not get hurt this time. And he wanted to, he desperately wanted to love again and that scared him more then he had admitted to himself.
Kame looked at the beautiful man standing before him, the hope telling him to go to that man. To wrap his arms around him and profess that yes, he'd leave Koki and they could be happy together. But behind the hope was panic, that he'd be hurt again, that Ueda would leave just as Jin had, and the panic was winning. The more the panic rose the more Kame felt he couldn't breathe until he needed to leave. "I can't do this," he muttered and practically ran from the apartment.
Ueda numbly walked over to the couch and flopped onto the seat. He had just confessed to Kame, who had left petrified. Holding back the emotion that threatened to break through, Ueda reached for his phone and dialed a number. "Hey Julie," he started trying to sound normal when her voice mail picked up. "I read some of the script, let the director know I'll take the part." Hanging up the phone, Ueda reached out for the dog that had been by his side the entire argument and buried his face into the golden fur. He cried as the feeling of rejection washed over him in countless waves, until he had nothing left in him to cry out; and then he cried some more.
Title: Crazy Love
Author: fireside_story
Chapter: 8/?
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,450
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I do not have any connections to KAT-TUN or any of the members past or present. I write this story for my own pleasure and make no profit from it.
Pairings: KameDa, KoKame, JunDa, Jinda (-ish), DenDen, mentions of past Akame. Basically it's a giant KAT-TUN orgy!! Well not quite.......
Summary: Ueda has been secretly in love with Kame for years but has been sleeping with Junno to try and forget about the younger man. Kame is still trying to mend his broken heart from when Jin left and is content with his relationship with Koki, that is until he starts working on a song with a certain piano man. As their relationship blossoms will Koki and Junno graciously step aside? And how will their new love handle the return of Jin into their lives.
Warnings: language, sexual references (starting to feel like I should just keep these warnings up here)
Beta: Nope, not yet.... maybe one day though.......
Chapter 8
Late evening light filtered through the window, falling on the figure lying on the couch flipping through the TV channels. After his 'talk' with Kame in the change room, Ueda had packed his gym bag and left, calling the choreographer saying he wasn't feeling well and was taking the rest of the day off. He knew this was going to cause an issue, an afternoon off for him meant one for the whole group pushing back their tight schedule. He half expected Julie to be hounding him with phone calls, reaming him out for messing up Kame's schedule that she had timed perfectly. Pushing this back meant he'd have to choose between group work and a solo project she had lined up for him, and he always chose group work first.
Ueda groaned, burying his face into one of the throw pillows on his couch. He didn't want to think of Kame, since that led to thinking about what happened in the change room. That led to thinking of the feeling of Kame's lips on his skin, the feeling of those strong hands on his bare chest, and that incredible moment when Kame's finger had driven inside him. Ueda shook his head, he had to stop this right now since he'd already had to finger himself three times to try and forget that feeling but his brain wasn't co-operating. He needed something to distract him, but nothing he had tried all afternoon had worked. Jumping when his phone rang, the sudden noise jarring him from his musings, Ueda picked up the device, looked at the caller ID and saw it was Julie. Stalling for a moment he decided that he'd rather get screamed at then be left to his own thoughts.
"Hello," he answered trying to sound as if he was recovering from some imaginary ailment.
"I'm glad to hear in your voice that you're feeling better," Julie started sounding relieved, and reassuring Ueda that his voice acting sucked. He made a mental note to not work on any animes or video games. "Kame told me what happened at rehearsal."
"H-he did?" Ueda asked trying to keep out that note of panic in his voice. He must have lied to her, he made up some story to cover your ass. He's not stupid enough to tell her what really happened, Ueda told himself over again.
"About how he spent nearly a half an hour in the bathroom with you before he was able to talk you into going home?" Julie asked suspicion evident in her voice.
"Yeah, I was just kind of hoping he spared you the gross details," for God sake's Ueda, you're an actor! You should be able to lie better then this!
"He really hopes you're feeling better tomorrow. Thankfully I was able to move his Panasoinc commercial shoot to next week so he could attend dance rehearsal tomorrow instead." There it was, the not to subtle hint that Julie was not pleased about rearranging Kame's schedule.
Ueda knew he had been pushing his luck faking sick for even half a day and figured he was getting off easy. "It must have been something I ate. I'll be there tomorrow," he assured her.
"I'm glad to hear it, but that's not the reason I called," Ueda rose his eyebrows but was smart enough to say nothing. He knew that was the exact reason Julie had called, now was coming to excuse she would use to validate it. "I have a script for you to look at. The director contacted me saying she wanted you for a role. If you like what you read just let me know and the part is yours, no audition needed."
Ueda sat up, suddenly very interested in the conversation "really?" he asked surprised. He never got offers like this, usually it was Kame. "But how does she know if I'll have chemistry with the other actors?"
"She said the other main role will be played by someone you've worked with in the past, if he agrees. I'll stop by shortly and drop the script off for you to look at. Let me know what you decide to do either way, oh and one more thing; you don't have issues kissing other men do you?"
Ueda took a sip of his tea as he turned a page in the script. This movie had come at the perfect time, meaning he'd be away from Kame during filming. He had nearly choked when Julie had asked him about kissing other men. He had never told her his preference, since he believed it was none of her business to know. Even with his preference, he never thought he'd be considering starring in a Boy Love movie and the only condition for the role was he had to grow out his hair again. In his mind, as far as conditions went, that was pretty doable.
Setting down his teacup on the end table, there was a loud banging on his front door. Ueda sat there contemplating, whether to answer it or not, since it could only be one person and he really didn't want to talk to him. His mind was made up for him as another round of pounding ran through his apartment, bringing his dogs from their various hiding places to bark at the noise. Heaving a sigh of frustration, Ueda walked to the door and began the task of squeezing himself between the wood and the animals noses.
"Back up guys," He told the dogs, pushing them back with his knees before opening the door to find Kame on the other side. Ueda felt his defenses go up as he faced the man that had caused him so much confusion, "I thought we agreed to not be alone with each other?"
"We need to talk," Kame stated looking about as pleased with this situation as Ueda did. "Can I come in?"
Ueda leaned against the open door, for support as well as to steel himself against the one man that affected him the most, "what if I say no?"
"I don't really think you want me to say this in the hallway." Kame deadpanned, letting his anger with the situation be known. "Unless you have no problem with the whole floor knowing how we almost had sex."
Ueda narrowed his eyes, but stepped aside to let Kame enter, fingers brushing through the fur of his closest dog. The animal could feel his owner's tension and stayed by Ueda's side, bumping his legs to let him know he was there. Ueda watched as Kame walked into his apartment, and petted the dogs that came up to him before turning on Ueda, "what the hell have you done to me?"
Ueda's jaw dropped, anger stirring as his defenses went up even more. "Excuse me?" he demanded crossing his arms. How the hell was this all his fault?!
Kame ran his fingers through his hair, trying to figure out what he was saying. Right after he knew he had started this whole thing wrong. "Ever since we kissed-"
"We did a little bit more then just kiss, Kazuya." Ueda interrupted. He knew he was being a bitch, but he was mad so he didn't care.
Kame glared at the other man, suddenly reminded why they used to fight so much in the beginning of their careers. "Fine, ever since I sucked you off, all I can think about is you. I spent a night having amazing sex with Koki, then I fell asleep and dreamt of you. And let me tell you, the sex in the dream was so much better. Today, the moment I'm alone with you, I can't help myself and now, seeing you standing there, I want you. I want you so fucking badly." Kame began walking towards Ueda, backing the smaller man up against the wall behind him; placing his hands on the wall on either side of Ueda's head pinning him in place.
"I look at you and I want to take you up against this wall, until you're screaming my name and I can finally watch you get off on me. And I can tell by the look in your eyes, you'd let me."
Ueda steeled himself before muttering the half lie, "no I wouldn't."
Kame quirked an eyebrow before pressing his entire body against Ueda's, resting his forearms on the wall behind the smaller man. Ueda gasped feeling that Kame was already half hard, just from the conversation. "Really?" he whispered in the shorter man's ear, sending shivers down Ueda's spine. "Because that look your giving me says otherwise." Kame shifted until he was whispering against Ueda's parted lips, "all I can think about is you, all I dream about is you. I'm begging you to just let me have you so I can get you out of my system."
"Would you leave Koki?" Ueda finally asked the one question he had to know the answer to.
Kame straightened, looking down at Ueda their faces still only a few inches apart. "What?" he asked, unsure he had heard correctly.
"Would you leave Koki?" Ueda repeated looking the younger man in the eye. It took all of his concentration to keep the conversation going since his body was starting to react to Kame's.
"Would I leave Koki?" Kame asked, almost as if the more times it was said maybe the question would change. Ueda refrained from rolling his eyes before nodding. "For you?" Kame finished the unspoken part of his question, Ueda nodded again.
Kame walked away from Ueda, hands musing up his hair in frustration, before turning back to face the other man. "Where the hell did that come from?"
"From seeing how much I hurt Junno and not wanting to do the same to Koki! From you saying we need to stay away from each other and yet here you are." Ueda ranted taking a few steps toward Kame.
"Because I want you! God I haven't wanted someone this badly since-" Kame left the sentence unfinished, turning his head away from Ueda. This whole thing was not going the way he had planned.
"Since who Kazuya?" Ueda demanded, crossing his arms again. He believed he knew the answer, but he wanted to know for sure. "Since Jin?!"
Upon hearing that name, Kame's attention snapped back to Ueda an underlying fear shining in his eyes. The same fear that always crept up when thinking about his ex-lover. "How did you know about that?" he asked quietly.
Ueda noticed the fear, wondered about it even, but still he answered the question calmer then he had been moments before. "I have eyes Kazuya, I saw the way you two used to look at each other. Plus I walked in on you guys having sex in the change room one day right after our debut. The same way someone could have walked in on us this afternoon!"
The fear in Kame's eyes was replaced with frustration once again, "what do you want from me?!" he nearly screamed, Ueda's dog placing himself between the two men in obvious protection of his owner.
"Leave Koki! That's the only way I'll sleep with you! I'm done with the cheating and the lies." Ueda firmly stated. He was going to stand his ground on this, no matter how good Kame looked right now.
"We cheated once Tatsuya, once! With each other!" Kame was beyond frustrated now, half of it being sexual. When he had come over, he was hoping he'd be getting sex, not an argument.
"And you didn't see that look pain and betrayal on Junno's face when he found out. That look nearly killed me, and I won't be responsible for it again." Ueda was proud of himself, he was actually standing his ground. As long as Kame didn't try to kiss him, he'd be good.
Usually Kame would respect Ueda's stance, but he wanted sex dammit; now it was just making him more angry, "so you want me to leave a healthy relationship for the mere possibility of sleeping with you?"
Ueda scoffed, "how healthy is your relationship if you have to come begging me for sex?"
"What do you want from me Tatsuya?!" Kame screamed, getting more angry and frustrated with every question Ueda threw at him.
There it was, the ultimate question, and Ueda could only think to answer it one way. "I want you!" he yelled back before feeling all his anger drain out of him with the truth of the statement. "I just want you."
Kame felt as if Ueda had delivered the final blow. With the look of pure emotion in his eyes and the deflated stance, it was painfully obvious. Ueda was in love with him; he was madly in love with him and probably had been for years. Kame felt as if he couldn't breathe, but not from Ueda's feelings, from his own. He was finally able to distinguish the feeling that Ueda evoked from him; it was hope. Hope that one day this man could make him happy again. Hope that he'd be able to find everything he'd been missing since Jin left him. Hope that he could fall in love again and not get hurt this time. And he wanted to, he desperately wanted to love again and that scared him more then he had admitted to himself.
Kame looked at the beautiful man standing before him, the hope telling him to go to that man. To wrap his arms around him and profess that yes, he'd leave Koki and they could be happy together. But behind the hope was panic, that he'd be hurt again, that Ueda would leave just as Jin had, and the panic was winning. The more the panic rose the more Kame felt he couldn't breathe until he needed to leave. "I can't do this," he muttered and practically ran from the apartment.
Ueda numbly walked over to the couch and flopped onto the seat. He had just confessed to Kame, who had left petrified. Holding back the emotion that threatened to break through, Ueda reached for his phone and dialed a number. "Hey Julie," he started trying to sound normal when her voice mail picked up. "I read some of the script, let the director know I'll take the part." Hanging up the phone, Ueda reached out for the dog that had been by his side the entire argument and buried his face into the golden fur. He cried as the feeling of rejection washed over him in countless waves, until he had nothing left in him to cry out; and then he cried some more.