[TMS] Allen Ginsberg quote
[Beth is failuretotrust and is used with permission from her mun who made a request for a Beth/Amy snuggle. Set a few days after THIS. Dean = jstliketherifle, Sam = likely_evil.]
“The weight of the world is love. Under the burden of solitude, under the burden of dissatisfaction.”
She really was the last person Amy had expected to see.
She hadn’t seen her in some time, and she really couldn’t fault her for that. Amy had the attention span of a gnat, and was able to easily distract herself elsewhere. She had, by no means, forgotten about Beth-she hardly ever forgot about anyone, but she had thought that the other woman had moved on, or focused more on Dean. Whatever the case may be, Beth showing up at her front door wasn’t in the planned set of events for the day, but Amy was always more than willing to make an exception for a friend.
“Hey, honey,” she said softly, seeing the concern on her friend’s face. “Everything okay?”
“I know I haven’t been by in a while,” Beth began slowly. “But can I come in?”
“Of course,” Amy nodded, moving to the side so that the woman could come inside. Alloces wouldn’t be back for a few hours, and she wasn’t expecting anyone else, so that at least gave them some time. She watched the woman carefully as she made her way inside, and she could see the worry weighing down on her shoulders. She had a feeling that it might be related to the oncoming end of the world, and Amy wasn’t sure and she didn’t feel all that comfortable with taking guesses. Instead, she just closed the door behind her and gestured for Beth to sit on the couch, before joining her. “What’s wrong?”
Beth was quiet for a moment, as she settled on to the couch, seeming as though she was trying to word this the right way, but not quite sure how to do it. After a minute, she looked up at her again. “I need you to tell me about Dean.”
She raised an eyebrow slightly. “Honey, isn’t he more your territory?”
“Don’t play dumb.” That was snapped, and Amy suddenly had the feeling she was deal more with Agent 99 than she was Beth. “I know you’re not entirely human. I figure that someone like you, you have to know something about what Dean’s involved in, and he won’t give me any information that makes any sense.” She paused, taking a deep breath as she looked over at her again. “I need to know what’s going on. And you’re the only person I know to ask.”
Amy sighed slightly before closing her eyes. “Something’s are not my story to tell. You understand that, right?”
Beth nodded. “Just-bullet points. The basics. Whatever you can say.”
She closed her eyes. “A few weeks ago, a demon named Lilith died. Her death triggered the opening of the last door holding back a very powerful angel named Lucifer.”
“Lucifer,” Beth paused for a moment. “As in the devil? Satan? That Lucifer?”
“Yes,” Amy sighed softly. “When Lucifer walks, he brings the end of the world with him. We’ve basically reached the end of days.”
Beth was quiet for a moment, digesting that, before responding. “So why do they need Dean so badly? Why does he think that he has some great responsibility all on his shoulders?”
Amy looked down for a moment. “Because Heaven wants you to finish what you start.”
Beth raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“A choice Dean made set this into motion,” Amy replied. “What isn’t my story to tell, but it was a very hard choice, and he didn’t realize what he was doing. Now, he’s the one that has to stop it.”
“How?”
“That I don’t know,” Amy sighed. “But it’s certainly not going to be easy.”
Beth started to curl in slightly, her hand coming up to her mouth as she digested all of it. She could see that there was a realization hitting her, that this was bigger than Dean had ever implied to her. And that wasn’t a settling feeling.
“He’s not going to survive this, is he?”
Amy sighed slightly, before moving over and sliding an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. “I don’t know. But odds-aren’t looking that good.”
Beth took the arm around her shoulder as the opportunity to curl into her friend, burying her face in her friend’s shoulder. There were a few deep breaths before she actually spoke again. “I can’t lose him, Amy.”
“I know, sweetie. I know.”
“Is-is there anything I can do? Can I help?”
She pulled back and placed a hand against the side of Beth’s face lightly, brushing her hair back from her face. “Just love him, honey. Remind him that he’s got something waiting for him when this is all over.”
“That’s not much.”
“It’s enough,” Amy nodded, kissing her forehead lightly as she pulled her in again. “It’s enough.”
792 words
“The weight of the world is love. Under the burden of solitude, under the burden of dissatisfaction.”
She really was the last person Amy had expected to see.
She hadn’t seen her in some time, and she really couldn’t fault her for that. Amy had the attention span of a gnat, and was able to easily distract herself elsewhere. She had, by no means, forgotten about Beth-she hardly ever forgot about anyone, but she had thought that the other woman had moved on, or focused more on Dean. Whatever the case may be, Beth showing up at her front door wasn’t in the planned set of events for the day, but Amy was always more than willing to make an exception for a friend.
“Hey, honey,” she said softly, seeing the concern on her friend’s face. “Everything okay?”
“I know I haven’t been by in a while,” Beth began slowly. “But can I come in?”
“Of course,” Amy nodded, moving to the side so that the woman could come inside. Alloces wouldn’t be back for a few hours, and she wasn’t expecting anyone else, so that at least gave them some time. She watched the woman carefully as she made her way inside, and she could see the worry weighing down on her shoulders. She had a feeling that it might be related to the oncoming end of the world, and Amy wasn’t sure and she didn’t feel all that comfortable with taking guesses. Instead, she just closed the door behind her and gestured for Beth to sit on the couch, before joining her. “What’s wrong?”
Beth was quiet for a moment, as she settled on to the couch, seeming as though she was trying to word this the right way, but not quite sure how to do it. After a minute, she looked up at her again. “I need you to tell me about Dean.”
She raised an eyebrow slightly. “Honey, isn’t he more your territory?”
“Don’t play dumb.” That was snapped, and Amy suddenly had the feeling she was deal more with Agent 99 than she was Beth. “I know you’re not entirely human. I figure that someone like you, you have to know something about what Dean’s involved in, and he won’t give me any information that makes any sense.” She paused, taking a deep breath as she looked over at her again. “I need to know what’s going on. And you’re the only person I know to ask.”
Amy sighed slightly before closing her eyes. “Something’s are not my story to tell. You understand that, right?”
Beth nodded. “Just-bullet points. The basics. Whatever you can say.”
She closed her eyes. “A few weeks ago, a demon named Lilith died. Her death triggered the opening of the last door holding back a very powerful angel named Lucifer.”
“Lucifer,” Beth paused for a moment. “As in the devil? Satan? That Lucifer?”
“Yes,” Amy sighed softly. “When Lucifer walks, he brings the end of the world with him. We’ve basically reached the end of days.”
Beth was quiet for a moment, digesting that, before responding. “So why do they need Dean so badly? Why does he think that he has some great responsibility all on his shoulders?”
Amy looked down for a moment. “Because Heaven wants you to finish what you start.”
Beth raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“A choice Dean made set this into motion,” Amy replied. “What isn’t my story to tell, but it was a very hard choice, and he didn’t realize what he was doing. Now, he’s the one that has to stop it.”
“How?”
“That I don’t know,” Amy sighed. “But it’s certainly not going to be easy.”
Beth started to curl in slightly, her hand coming up to her mouth as she digested all of it. She could see that there was a realization hitting her, that this was bigger than Dean had ever implied to her. And that wasn’t a settling feeling.
“He’s not going to survive this, is he?”
Amy sighed slightly, before moving over and sliding an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. “I don’t know. But odds-aren’t looking that good.”
Beth took the arm around her shoulder as the opportunity to curl into her friend, burying her face in her friend’s shoulder. There were a few deep breaths before she actually spoke again. “I can’t lose him, Amy.”
“I know, sweetie. I know.”
“Is-is there anything I can do? Can I help?”
She pulled back and placed a hand against the side of Beth’s face lightly, brushing her hair back from her face. “Just love him, honey. Remind him that he’s got something waiting for him when this is all over.”
“That’s not much.”
“It’s enough,” Amy nodded, kissing her forehead lightly as she pulled her in again. “It’s enough.”
792 words