(no subject)
Am I honestly that fat? Because my mother is constantly insisting that I am. Have you ever realized that is very hard to be comfortable and happy with yourself if the people who are supposed to be the most important in your life are constantly telling you that you arent good enough. Yes well this was all triggered AGAIN because my mother came home with expensive ridiculous "no calorie sugar" splenda or something of that sort, she was like "ive noticed you have been having a lot of sugar lately" i have one teaspoon of sugar when i have tea, which is very rarely. GET A FREAKING LIFE, GET A HOBBY GET SOMETHING STOP COMPLAINGING ABOUT NOT HAVING MONEY AND BLAH BLAH BLAH WHEN YOU ARE WASTING YOUR MONEY ON STUPID CALORIE FREE SUGAR, THAT I WONT EVEN USE!!!!!!! so im not fucking skinny and i dont look like emaciated or anorexic, good for me. so i could lose 5-10 lbs, im not a freaking hippopotamous that she makes me out to be, the hole house doesnt shake when i walk, i dont wear plus sized clothing, just because i dont have the most desirable body doesnt mean i need diets and calorie free sugar and GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Sometimes I wonder why my mother is the way she is, and sometimes I just hate her for it. I always wish she could love me the way I am, but who I am, what I am will never be good enough for her. If she were a queen she could simply order my head off, and this situation would be resolved, unfortunately in our society ordering my head off would mean harsh penalties and judgments of her and she never wants to be seen as anything but perfect. It would be such a shame for her to realize perfection is easy to strive for and impossible to attain.
Goodbye
Goodbye