femme fatale

[fires_fires_fur]

i don't want to lose any more sleep over this old thing of mine. it's past and i need future. she doesn't call me that often, but she did yesterday and told me of more extreme change. it's not like i'm not happy for her growth but it's a punch in the face kind of reminder that i can live without. i told her before not to call me anymore, and yet i still get these monthly reminders. everytime it's something new, and i swear everytime i lose sleep over it. i'd be over this by now if she'd leave me alone. i know she doesn't do this on purpose but i'm not so good at hiding my emotions from her since i used to share them so openly with her, and i know this gives her power & a feeling of attention. the way it was left for me in all of its unfairness, this relationship we had, becomes all the more unfair when i can't hide her power over me from her.

friends, help me heal and keep growing.