Words
Words
"Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in this life." ~Jean Paul Richter
Tezuka sighed, and continued to wearily stare out the window. Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes but before anyone could see them, he quickly wiped them away. It had only been a year, his heart still had not mended and it was probably never going to.
“Kuni, why are you just sitting here?” Tezuka looked up to see Fuji standing there, he sighed. Not one of his other lovers understood, they knew what had happened but no matter how many times they told Tezuka it wasn't his fault, the guilt would still be there. “Oh.” Fuji took account of his red eyes and nose. Sitting down next to him Fuji wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “It's already been a year, I'd been trying to push it from my mind.”
Tezuka nodded, they all had. Especially Atobe, who had always had a special attachment to the youngest of them. All of Ryoma's stuff was shoved in a locked room and the key was given to the only person who had the mental mindset not to give in and give it to any of them, Shishido. It was hardest at first, trying to go on with just four, Ryoma had filled enough space for ten people. It was lonely and quiet in the large house now. One after the other Sanada and Atobe appeared sitting next to Fuji and Tezuka without a word, staring out the window down at the street where Ryoma breathed his last.
Tezuka and Ryoma had been fighting about an injury of Ryoma's, Tezuka wanted him to sit out of tennis for a while so it could heal. Ryoma wouldn't hear it, he wanted to prove that he really was on top of the tennis world. Ryoma stormed out of the house in a frenzy, Tezuka would never forget how it happened.
“Ryo, you need to sit out before this becomes serious, you don't want to have to stop playing altogether.”
He had just been looking out for him, Tezuka understood not being able to play and he wasn't willing to have Ryoma lose that too.
“I know my limits Kuni, you don't have to bug me about it. I'm strong enough to know when enough is enough. This isn't like your shoulder. It's only a small muscle strain.”
It was unusual to hear angry words coming from the hose, for five completely different teenage boys, they got along very well. The house had such a positive and nurturing atmosphere, people found their way of living, no matter how odd, to be ideal.
“Ryoma, you will listen to me because I know the best thing for you right now.”
There had been tears in both their eyes, to be exchanging such harsh words was hard. Tezuka was doing it out of love and Ryoma was doing it to be strong, they both had aces up their sleeve and were willing to pull them out if necessary. Even if they had to hurt each other, they were determined to win the argument.
“Just leave me alone Kunimitsu, I can take care of myself. I know my own body. Wait, where have I heard that before. Oh, that's right, you said it.”
He stormed out of the house not really paying attention. He was too angry to go after Ryoma, willing to let it drop and then try and have a civil conversation later when they tension had blown over. It wasn't to bee, there were screeching ties and the sound of death that would forever ring in his ears. Ryoma had been hit by a car and died on impact. After Tezuka had raced out to see what happened he saw Ryoma's lifeless eyes staring up and him and on the inside he died, he would never forgive himself. He felt responsible for making Ryoma storm out like that and that killed him. Also, he never got to say I'm sorry or I love you for a last time and that really pained him.
“You live and you learn Kunimitsu, but you should never end with a fight, you never know if you'll ever see the person again. Things like that weigh heavy on the soul, if it ever happened you'd never be able to forgive yourself.”
Tezuka cried some more wishing that he had never know that what Ryoma had said all those years ago was so true.
A/N: Sorry for the delay of putting things out. More than ever I am having a hard time finding time to type.