oh joy
just sitting here at work, wasting time, avoiding work. not that there's much for me to do. i really dont like my job now, with my new position.
last night, went out for a drink with an old friend. was nice to get out of the house for a while. i need to drink more and build up a better tolerance to alcohol. one drink and i was feelin it really badly. my friends were laughing their asses off at me. i couldnt keep my eyes open.
had a pretty bad weekend. got really depressed, and now i cant even remember why. called a girl ive been interested in for a while that lives out of town, and invited her down for the 4th of july. the day before, i had a feeling that she had a new boyfriend, i hadn't heard from her in a week or two. sure enough, she did. it shouldnt have affected me, i mean, she doesnt even live in the same city that i do. but it just hit me hard. for some odd reason, every girl i try to hook up with or date ends up with another guy. im a good match maker for other people, and i dont even know how i do it.
sat for a while playing with my walther. really thought hard about why im still here on this god-forsaken planet. tested out what it would feel like to put a bullet through the top of my head. though, i did leave the gun empty. didnt feel quite right. the click wasnt very reassuring. maybe suicide isnt the answer? thought for a bit about what it would leave behind, and how someone would find me. the picture i have in my mind isnt too pretty.
gotta go for now, work calls.
last night, went out for a drink with an old friend. was nice to get out of the house for a while. i need to drink more and build up a better tolerance to alcohol. one drink and i was feelin it really badly. my friends were laughing their asses off at me. i couldnt keep my eyes open.
had a pretty bad weekend. got really depressed, and now i cant even remember why. called a girl ive been interested in for a while that lives out of town, and invited her down for the 4th of july. the day before, i had a feeling that she had a new boyfriend, i hadn't heard from her in a week or two. sure enough, she did. it shouldnt have affected me, i mean, she doesnt even live in the same city that i do. but it just hit me hard. for some odd reason, every girl i try to hook up with or date ends up with another guy. im a good match maker for other people, and i dont even know how i do it.
sat for a while playing with my walther. really thought hard about why im still here on this god-forsaken planet. tested out what it would feel like to put a bullet through the top of my head. though, i did leave the gun empty. didnt feel quite right. the click wasnt very reassuring. maybe suicide isnt the answer? thought for a bit about what it would leave behind, and how someone would find me. the picture i have in my mind isnt too pretty.
gotta go for now, work calls.