Boys and their ridiculous mind-scrambling powers
Ok. Boys are very nice. Men are nice. I think I would consider Nathan more of a man than a boy, but not really quite of either. He has bouts of acting very young, and times of incredible maturity. I would have to say overall mentally he's quite an excellent specimen of a 20 year old. And when I say excellent, I mean excellent in all ways. He knows how to make my heart stop, and my heart race. We've been dating for a total of 2 weeks, and the only drawback is that he knows exactly what he can do. The bastard.
His body is ridiculously nice. His brain is quick. A smart, sweet, athletic, funny guy who has my dorky sense of humor. I don't know if I could ask for a better match. He has religious beliefs, but I think they're good values and beliefs to hold. They hold up his morals, don't interfere with science, and give him something to hope for. He's not 'In your Face' about it, which I respect. I don't think his views are going to change anytime soon though. I respect that in a person. I guess the biggest factor in this is that I respect him as a person. And I hope he respects me. He seems well balanced, if occasionally toeing the line of sanity. (something i've taken to looking at in a guy)
It's a little frightening how much I enjoy spending time with him. I'm never on sure footing in the beginning of a relationship, and I really wish I was able to read minds sometime. I can read his mind sometimes, but generally only when it's painfully obvious. *wink* But I just wish he would straight up and tell me what he was thinking. Good or bad. Raunchy or sweet and clean.
something like...
"I love spending time with you, we should do it more often"
"We're spending too much time together and I'm afraid I don't want to get sick of you"
"we're moving fast, but I really like the pace we're going"
"what we have is intense. I'd like it to stay that way"
"I like you, but I don't know if I like you that much"
"I'd love to pound you into the bed, but I respect you too much to try that"
"It makes my heart race just being around you"
"I like how you do that thing in class"
"Going slow makes it more intense. I don't know if I want to speed up"
"I just like spending time with you as a friend"
"You make me smile, just by being yourself"
"I want to make whatever we have last as long as I possibly can"
... yeah.
There is a mixed bag in there. I don't really want to think about a few of those possibilities, but they all have crossed my mind. He mentioned something about being emotionally detached, but he also countered that statement when he said he didn't usually get emotionally attached, but when he did it was generally a really serious attachment.
I do know that I'm very attached to him, though I may not express that sentiment out loud. I don't know if he'll ever hear from my mouth the depth of my current attachment. It is, however, much greater than I think he'll guess. Or perhaps he may suspect, but not concretely. I have mentioned how much I like spending time with him. Multiple times. I guess it's just that so far, I haven't gotten tired of spending time with him, and I can't imagine that happening in the foreseeable future. It may slowly become less intense, but I can't see that as a huge problem. Romance all the time is a little unrealistic and distracting. (I'm also going to note that I hope nobody where I live has found this)
Last night was intense. Like... if it hadn't been a weeknight it would have lasted a long time. And had an interesting ending. I'm not sure how I would have brought myself to stop if I hadn't known that I really needed to sleep and that I had class the next morning at 9:05. I don't know if he would have stopped. I don't think anything really serious would have happened... it just would have lasted longer. And been more frustrating at the end. But everything is good with us, both physically and mentally. (i'm hoping on the second one, because it's good on my end. I can tell the physical is good on his end, but i'm not so sure about the mental. from what he says i think it's good though.)
I'm still on eggshells around Katie when I'm with Nathan. It's a little frustrating not knowing how her reaction is going to be, depending on how her day went. I still wish she could just be happy for me. I try not to even bring up Nathan around her, because she gets this look on her face. I don't know if I can do anything about it though. Apparently they talked for a while yesterday about some serious stuff. I know they were friends before I started dating and even really hanging out with him, but it's been a little odd around both of them ever since.
If I feel giggly, I'll probably put up all the juicy details later
much love
His body is ridiculously nice. His brain is quick. A smart, sweet, athletic, funny guy who has my dorky sense of humor. I don't know if I could ask for a better match. He has religious beliefs, but I think they're good values and beliefs to hold. They hold up his morals, don't interfere with science, and give him something to hope for. He's not 'In your Face' about it, which I respect. I don't think his views are going to change anytime soon though. I respect that in a person. I guess the biggest factor in this is that I respect him as a person. And I hope he respects me. He seems well balanced, if occasionally toeing the line of sanity. (something i've taken to looking at in a guy)
It's a little frightening how much I enjoy spending time with him. I'm never on sure footing in the beginning of a relationship, and I really wish I was able to read minds sometime. I can read his mind sometimes, but generally only when it's painfully obvious. *wink* But I just wish he would straight up and tell me what he was thinking. Good or bad. Raunchy or sweet and clean.
something like...
"I love spending time with you, we should do it more often"
"We're spending too much time together and I'm afraid I don't want to get sick of you"
"we're moving fast, but I really like the pace we're going"
"what we have is intense. I'd like it to stay that way"
"I like you, but I don't know if I like you that much"
"I'd love to pound you into the bed, but I respect you too much to try that"
"It makes my heart race just being around you"
"I like how you do that thing in class"
"Going slow makes it more intense. I don't know if I want to speed up"
"I just like spending time with you as a friend"
"You make me smile, just by being yourself"
"I want to make whatever we have last as long as I possibly can"
... yeah.
There is a mixed bag in there. I don't really want to think about a few of those possibilities, but they all have crossed my mind. He mentioned something about being emotionally detached, but he also countered that statement when he said he didn't usually get emotionally attached, but when he did it was generally a really serious attachment.
I do know that I'm very attached to him, though I may not express that sentiment out loud. I don't know if he'll ever hear from my mouth the depth of my current attachment. It is, however, much greater than I think he'll guess. Or perhaps he may suspect, but not concretely. I have mentioned how much I like spending time with him. Multiple times. I guess it's just that so far, I haven't gotten tired of spending time with him, and I can't imagine that happening in the foreseeable future. It may slowly become less intense, but I can't see that as a huge problem. Romance all the time is a little unrealistic and distracting. (I'm also going to note that I hope nobody where I live has found this)
Last night was intense. Like... if it hadn't been a weeknight it would have lasted a long time. And had an interesting ending. I'm not sure how I would have brought myself to stop if I hadn't known that I really needed to sleep and that I had class the next morning at 9:05. I don't know if he would have stopped. I don't think anything really serious would have happened... it just would have lasted longer. And been more frustrating at the end. But everything is good with us, both physically and mentally. (i'm hoping on the second one, because it's good on my end. I can tell the physical is good on his end, but i'm not so sure about the mental. from what he says i think it's good though.)
I'm still on eggshells around Katie when I'm with Nathan. It's a little frustrating not knowing how her reaction is going to be, depending on how her day went. I still wish she could just be happy for me. I try not to even bring up Nathan around her, because she gets this look on her face. I don't know if I can do anything about it though. Apparently they talked for a while yesterday about some serious stuff. I know they were friends before I started dating and even really hanging out with him, but it's been a little odd around both of them ever since.
If I feel giggly, I'll probably put up all the juicy details later
much love