well the battle joins and it ends in a draw?
Hello, all. Sorry I haven't written lately but I have been actually been busy for quite some time. First, I was finishing off some work for school while I was also trying to survive Walmart as much as possible. I can't wait for the Christmas holiday to be over with. Let's see, it sort of snowed here in the city and country and it left my water pumped frozen. It took about a day in a half for the pump to finally defrost. I have running water again.
Well, let's get into the main subject of this post, shall we? ::pulls up a chair and takes a sip of tropical punch juice:: Well, I finally finished my letter to my mother and delivered it to her. Of course there was alot of yelling and screaming on her part and I just let her get it all out. She was so pissed that she left four messages on my cell phone and IMed me about 30 times and still was counting by the time I woke up to these lovely messages. Basically, all of the messages were about Leita and how she was the cause of all of this. Yes, I did lie to my mother again about "breaking up" with Leita and I do regret doing so because I was trying so hard to not lie about anything anymore. Maybe in part of the reason why I decided to come clean about it was because of what Leita's mom had told me a few months ago. She asked me how can I be with Leita if I'm living in a lie by lying to my own mother about my relationship to Leita. It's like saying that I'm embarassed of being with Leita if I won't acknowledge our relationship to my own mother. It makes Leita feel like she is the other woman. I'm done with making that compromise involving Leita. If I'm with Leita, then I will acknowledge my relationship to my mother, no matter what the consequences may be. Sorry, I got off alittle off subject, so allow me to return. After alot of screaming and yelling later, my mother finally calm down so that I can actually talk to her. After the conversation, I went away with a few things from it. Or actually one or two things.I got away with it that she did not really "read" what i wrote in the letter but actually read what she wanted out of it. Of course this is natural for most people to just read what they want to read but it hurts when that's all that is read. She mainly concentrated on how this was just a clever ploy by Leita and a plan for me to drop out of school. Then in this clever ploy that my mother thought up, then I would work for the rest of my life, waiting hand and foot on Leita while Leita just eats bon bons at home. I'm not quite sure how this works out that way but some how she comes up with this. She wants to say that Leita not going to work but yet I don't feel this way. Another thing I don't get is how she continues on about the incident between Leita, my mom and Leita's friend where basically she was told off. I still think that the whole incident was a double edged sword. I hope I'm using this saying right. First edge, yes it was not right of Leita's friend to tell my mom off the way she did, especially when she doesn't even know who my mother is. Yes, there are things that a boyfriend and girlfriend say to each other especially persoanl things that should be kept to each other. I understand these things. But then here's the other edge of this sword. Leita's friend telling off my mother has actually opened my eyes to what was happening to me and my life and even in my relationship with Leita. I still thank her, for this to happen to me. Who knows? But still I'm confused if I even gained any thing except defend both Leita and her family. There are a few other things I would like to discuss on this conversation and letter I had with my mother but I feel like I will mess it up as I write it. So I will stop discussing it.
So with this break up with Leita, and a few other things, I have begun my journey in making myself better and hopefully I will be able to gain Leita's favor once again. If not, then I will have to live with it and try to carry on with life without Leita, no matter how painful it may be. Oh well. So swell, go jump in a well. ;-)
Well, let's get into the main subject of this post, shall we? ::pulls up a chair and takes a sip of tropical punch juice:: Well, I finally finished my letter to my mother and delivered it to her. Of course there was alot of yelling and screaming on her part and I just let her get it all out. She was so pissed that she left four messages on my cell phone and IMed me about 30 times and still was counting by the time I woke up to these lovely messages. Basically, all of the messages were about Leita and how she was the cause of all of this. Yes, I did lie to my mother again about "breaking up" with Leita and I do regret doing so because I was trying so hard to not lie about anything anymore. Maybe in part of the reason why I decided to come clean about it was because of what Leita's mom had told me a few months ago. She asked me how can I be with Leita if I'm living in a lie by lying to my own mother about my relationship to Leita. It's like saying that I'm embarassed of being with Leita if I won't acknowledge our relationship to my own mother. It makes Leita feel like she is the other woman. I'm done with making that compromise involving Leita. If I'm with Leita, then I will acknowledge my relationship to my mother, no matter what the consequences may be. Sorry, I got off alittle off subject, so allow me to return. After alot of screaming and yelling later, my mother finally calm down so that I can actually talk to her. After the conversation, I went away with a few things from it. Or actually one or two things.I got away with it that she did not really "read" what i wrote in the letter but actually read what she wanted out of it. Of course this is natural for most people to just read what they want to read but it hurts when that's all that is read. She mainly concentrated on how this was just a clever ploy by Leita and a plan for me to drop out of school. Then in this clever ploy that my mother thought up, then I would work for the rest of my life, waiting hand and foot on Leita while Leita just eats bon bons at home. I'm not quite sure how this works out that way but some how she comes up with this. She wants to say that Leita not going to work but yet I don't feel this way. Another thing I don't get is how she continues on about the incident between Leita, my mom and Leita's friend where basically she was told off. I still think that the whole incident was a double edged sword. I hope I'm using this saying right. First edge, yes it was not right of Leita's friend to tell my mom off the way she did, especially when she doesn't even know who my mother is. Yes, there are things that a boyfriend and girlfriend say to each other especially persoanl things that should be kept to each other. I understand these things. But then here's the other edge of this sword. Leita's friend telling off my mother has actually opened my eyes to what was happening to me and my life and even in my relationship with Leita. I still thank her, for this to happen to me. Who knows? But still I'm confused if I even gained any thing except defend both Leita and her family. There are a few other things I would like to discuss on this conversation and letter I had with my mother but I feel like I will mess it up as I write it. So I will stop discussing it.
So with this break up with Leita, and a few other things, I have begun my journey in making myself better and hopefully I will be able to gain Leita's favor once again. If not, then I will have to live with it and try to carry on with life without Leita, no matter how painful it may be. Oh well. So swell, go jump in a well. ;-)